First time poster, finally realizing help is needed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 3
First time poster, finally realizing help is needed
Hi everyone. I recently found this site and am hoping it will help me to cope and stop with my alcoholism....alcoholic, most people would never know or believe... I'm at 37 year old very shy, quiet, extremely sensitive woman. " Introduced to vodka in college and many people asking when I was "buzzed" why couldn't I be like this all the time. Didn't much have much self worth anyway so have continued drinking since. 15 years later I'm still very shy, I can't see as going to AA as I wouldn't be able to talk.
I've had a few liver enzyme tests which have come back a very high over the past year, my doctor called me after hours and sounded like she was crying at some points, very worried. Nothing has gotten me to stop drinking but I am scared of pain, dying and leaving my husband.
I look forward to hopefully getting stronger from all of your advise and knowledge.
Thank you for reading
I've had a few liver enzyme tests which have come back a very high over the past year, my doctor called me after hours and sounded like she was crying at some points, very worried. Nothing has gotten me to stop drinking but I am scared of pain, dying and leaving my husband.
I look forward to hopefully getting stronger from all of your advise and knowledge.
Thank you for reading
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey violetbutterfly!! 
You've come to the right place, the extent of our knowledge on the subject has no bounds, we'll believe and know everything of what you've gone through, believe me, I've earned many a T-Shirt!!
I don't go to AA myself, I basically use this website and have a written plan to get me through.
I wish you all the best!!
You've come to the right place, the extent of our knowledge on the subject has no bounds, we'll believe and know everything of what you've gone through, believe me, I've earned many a T-Shirt!!
I don't go to AA myself, I basically use this website and have a written plan to get me through.
I wish you all the best!!
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hi Violet,
I am new to this site too & glad to see you here. I did attend AA for awhile & a lot of useful information & support, but I have "extreme" anxiety in public speaking (sober anyway) & feel this will be a great place for support & insight. Take it easy & be good to yourself
I am new to this site too & glad to see you here. I did attend AA for awhile & a lot of useful information & support, but I have "extreme" anxiety in public speaking (sober anyway) & feel this will be a great place for support & insight. Take it easy & be good to yourself
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's great to have you here violetbutterfly. SR has been a miracle for me. I hope it will lessen your anxiety to have us to talk to.
I was always very shy & self-conscious. That was one of the reasons I got started drinking too. It seemed like the perfect answer for me. Instead of growing and changing the way I should have I numbed myself. It was very damaging. I'm glad that you're looking at what alcohol is doing to your life. You can be yourself with us and we will help.
I was always very shy & self-conscious. That was one of the reasons I got started drinking too. It seemed like the perfect answer for me. Instead of growing and changing the way I should have I numbed myself. It was very damaging. I'm glad that you're looking at what alcohol is doing to your life. You can be yourself with us and we will help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Welcome, I am looking forward to getting to know you. I don't go to AA, nothing against it, I just was not able to go when I wanted to get sober so I came here. Tons of support. I love the people here and I have not had a drink in a long time, not wanting one either. I wish you well on your journey and know you are not alone. We are all walking with you.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Welcome! I am the same age, also very very shy and used to be sensitive. I do go to AA meetings but generally just listen. It isn't for everyone but I like it. This site is amazing for support too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Burlington CT
Posts: 10
Violet Butterfly,
Welcome and I hope you keep coming back. I've been at this for some time now (too long) I'm working on day 5 again but ya know what? That's the longest period of sobriety I've had in 8 months, so I'm proud of that. I've been through the AA thing. I had a sponsor, had a coffee commitment and I too found "sharing" uncomfortable and despite trying, I personally found it wasn't for me.
This is a great resource to use and if you find AA helpful then go for it (you can just sit and listen) but just a word of advice from personal experience, if you go be prepared for people to approach you. Many will seek out "new comers" before or after a meeting. I was petrified the first time I went and even more so when I committed to a sponsor. Anyway I just say all of this because.. Well I wouldn't have known it wasn't for me had I not gone. But this is my recovery and you have yours, I don't believe that there is a one size fits all for recovery, like most things in life, you can make it custom fit but you may have to keep looking.
In my opinion, I'd rather have a "perfect size" than a "one size fits all" hanging off of me or so tight it's smothering. I hope you keep coming back. I mean butterfly's are delicate but they all were once just caterpillars inching up the tree, across the branch to make that cocoon. Butterflies are pretty incredible and determined I'd say.
Welcome and I hope you keep coming back. I've been at this for some time now (too long) I'm working on day 5 again but ya know what? That's the longest period of sobriety I've had in 8 months, so I'm proud of that. I've been through the AA thing. I had a sponsor, had a coffee commitment and I too found "sharing" uncomfortable and despite trying, I personally found it wasn't for me.
This is a great resource to use and if you find AA helpful then go for it (you can just sit and listen) but just a word of advice from personal experience, if you go be prepared for people to approach you. Many will seek out "new comers" before or after a meeting. I was petrified the first time I went and even more so when I committed to a sponsor. Anyway I just say all of this because.. Well I wouldn't have known it wasn't for me had I not gone. But this is my recovery and you have yours, I don't believe that there is a one size fits all for recovery, like most things in life, you can make it custom fit but you may have to keep looking.
In my opinion, I'd rather have a "perfect size" than a "one size fits all" hanging off of me or so tight it's smothering. I hope you keep coming back. I mean butterfly's are delicate but they all were once just caterpillars inching up the tree, across the branch to make that cocoon. Butterflies are pretty incredible and determined I'd say.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tarheel Country
Posts: 25
VioletButterfly,
Welcome. I am brand new too (well, I spent a long time reading but new to posting). There is a lot of wisdom here. I am a woman who just turned 44 and I don't want to die like my closet alcoholic grandmother did at 63 from stomach cancer.
I am very introverted by nature as well, and it's hard for me to open up in meetings. I do much better one on one or is small groups, so those are the meetings I search out. I have been practicing just introducing myself or saying something small. Sometimes I feel like what I'm saying is stupid, but that's just because I'm so self conscious and need to get out of own head, because that's a crazy place to be ��.
I have a Dr appt to have everything checked out. I hope things are OK, but not knowing causes me to project. I'm certain your Dr will keep monitoring your levels. The absolute best thing now is to honest with him/her and find support to stop drinking right away. There are other avenues of support. You can find information about them to see if they might be a better fit (SMART, a therapist, outpatient rehab, etc.).
Good luck! I hope to see you back soon and find out how you are doing!
Welcome. I am brand new too (well, I spent a long time reading but new to posting). There is a lot of wisdom here. I am a woman who just turned 44 and I don't want to die like my closet alcoholic grandmother did at 63 from stomach cancer.
I am very introverted by nature as well, and it's hard for me to open up in meetings. I do much better one on one or is small groups, so those are the meetings I search out. I have been practicing just introducing myself or saying something small. Sometimes I feel like what I'm saying is stupid, but that's just because I'm so self conscious and need to get out of own head, because that's a crazy place to be ��.
I have a Dr appt to have everything checked out. I hope things are OK, but not knowing causes me to project. I'm certain your Dr will keep monitoring your levels. The absolute best thing now is to honest with him/her and find support to stop drinking right away. There are other avenues of support. You can find information about them to see if they might be a better fit (SMART, a therapist, outpatient rehab, etc.).
Good luck! I hope to see you back soon and find out how you are doing!
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
And another very warm welcome, butterfly
I have found that my feelings of self worth have blossomed since giving up drinking and, strangely enough, I feel far more confident sober than I ever did drunk
Hang tight. A new life is waiting. . . .
I have found that my feelings of self worth have blossomed since giving up drinking and, strangely enough, I feel far more confident sober than I ever did drunk
Hang tight. A new life is waiting. . . .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 68
Hello and Welcome!
You are amongst the bestest support you will ever need!
You have made the hardest step now let the journey begin.
----------------------------------------------------------
"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
You are amongst the bestest support you will ever need!
You have made the hardest step now let the journey begin.
----------------------------------------------------------
"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
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