Day 3
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 6
Day 3
Hello! So, after I posted a few days ago about having withdrawal symptoms at that conference, I called my doc and got the green light to stop drinking completely, and I took the rest of the week off.
The first day I felt like crap, as I expected to (sick, shaky, no appetite, cramps).
The second day I had to do an interview in the early evening. I was worried that the same thing would happen to me as it did at the conference (I'd get all twitchy and spazzy and panic-attacky).
When I showed up, I first apologized for not being able to meet the previous day, but I had a Christmas lunch that day (where I live, these "lunches" are a cultural bonding ritual that start at noon and go all night and are infamously known for an excuse for everyone to get wasted and make bad decisions). This was actually a white lie; I was at home detoxing myself. He said, "Oh, so you're probably hungover, right?" I was kind of caught off guard and said, "Oh no, I'm ok. I'm pretty fresh." And then he was sort of like "Hmm… ok."
Well I was already a little nervous and this guy was a bit of the same way, so I started to feel the same way I did at the conference. Yikes! Like if I sustained eye contact for too long I'd get this vertigo-ish, strong, involuntary urge to turn away (which, as I said before, is SO annoying because I am normally really good at warm, natural body language and sustained eye contact, argh…). Luckily, we were walking around a building during the interview, so I could diffuse some of my jitters and twitchiness by disguising it with other movement, like nodding and looking at interesting stuff. Thankfully I did not have any spasms, and I think I probably just seemed a little hyper.
At one point I was stumbling over my words a bit, so I said, "Haha, sorry, I guess I *am* a little hungover." He looked relieved and said, "Yeah, I didn't believe you when you said you weren't, because it's almost impossible not to be after a Christmas lunch here." "Yes, it's kind of like running a marathon; I don't know how you people do it!" And we joked around for a bit after that and he seemed a lot more comfortable.
The interview went ok in the end. It feels a bit socially isolating to be completely straight-edge in a drinking culture, like I almost have to be "under cover," but I knew this would happen. When I first moved here, I pretty much hardly drank at all, but I learned that in this culture, drinking is intimately integrated with social bonding, so I got "good" at it. I do know how to socialize here without booze though-- I've been on Accutane twice, in which I couldn't have alcohol for six months. No one really notices if you're just having seltzer out of a red cup.
Today I was feeling better but I slept almost all day for some reason. I was supposed to go to a party tonight but I sent flowers and a present instead because I really just needed to rest… Saturday I have a date-thing and Sunday one of these all-day lunches (luckily, it's a booze-free hippy dippy yoga event), so I hope no one texts me tomorrow and asks to hang out because I could really use one more day to myself! Kind of want to just turn the phone and internet off for the weekend.
Sorry for the epic saga, haha. This forum has been so helpful in keeping me focused on my goal.
The first day I felt like crap, as I expected to (sick, shaky, no appetite, cramps).
The second day I had to do an interview in the early evening. I was worried that the same thing would happen to me as it did at the conference (I'd get all twitchy and spazzy and panic-attacky).
When I showed up, I first apologized for not being able to meet the previous day, but I had a Christmas lunch that day (where I live, these "lunches" are a cultural bonding ritual that start at noon and go all night and are infamously known for an excuse for everyone to get wasted and make bad decisions). This was actually a white lie; I was at home detoxing myself. He said, "Oh, so you're probably hungover, right?" I was kind of caught off guard and said, "Oh no, I'm ok. I'm pretty fresh." And then he was sort of like "Hmm… ok."
Well I was already a little nervous and this guy was a bit of the same way, so I started to feel the same way I did at the conference. Yikes! Like if I sustained eye contact for too long I'd get this vertigo-ish, strong, involuntary urge to turn away (which, as I said before, is SO annoying because I am normally really good at warm, natural body language and sustained eye contact, argh…). Luckily, we were walking around a building during the interview, so I could diffuse some of my jitters and twitchiness by disguising it with other movement, like nodding and looking at interesting stuff. Thankfully I did not have any spasms, and I think I probably just seemed a little hyper.
At one point I was stumbling over my words a bit, so I said, "Haha, sorry, I guess I *am* a little hungover." He looked relieved and said, "Yeah, I didn't believe you when you said you weren't, because it's almost impossible not to be after a Christmas lunch here." "Yes, it's kind of like running a marathon; I don't know how you people do it!" And we joked around for a bit after that and he seemed a lot more comfortable.
The interview went ok in the end. It feels a bit socially isolating to be completely straight-edge in a drinking culture, like I almost have to be "under cover," but I knew this would happen. When I first moved here, I pretty much hardly drank at all, but I learned that in this culture, drinking is intimately integrated with social bonding, so I got "good" at it. I do know how to socialize here without booze though-- I've been on Accutane twice, in which I couldn't have alcohol for six months. No one really notices if you're just having seltzer out of a red cup.
Today I was feeling better but I slept almost all day for some reason. I was supposed to go to a party tonight but I sent flowers and a present instead because I really just needed to rest… Saturday I have a date-thing and Sunday one of these all-day lunches (luckily, it's a booze-free hippy dippy yoga event), so I hope no one texts me tomorrow and asks to hang out because I could really use one more day to myself! Kind of want to just turn the phone and internet off for the weekend.
Sorry for the epic saga, haha. This forum has been so helpful in keeping me focused on my goal.
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