Quit Drinking, Feeling...a whole Lot of Nothing
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 64
the first step with any problem is to accept that there is a problem.
with this awareness MadViking, we can then continue with some appropriate action.
i would suggest that by connecting with SR you are making a start re- appropriate action.
Personally, i simply cannot stay sober on my own. Welcome MadViking. You don't have to ever be alone in doing this.
with this awareness MadViking, we can then continue with some appropriate action.
i would suggest that by connecting with SR you are making a start re- appropriate action.
Personally, i simply cannot stay sober on my own. Welcome MadViking. You don't have to ever be alone in doing this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Québec
Posts: 10
@Dee74
It's what I keep telling myself. Guess like, you know that angel devil thing, over your shoulder, trying to convince you what choice to make? Guess my angel keeps getting booted by the devil, need to find the will to beat that guy. I know I have to be patient, and I consider myself lucky to not have been drinking so long that I can stop easier than some. But then the depression comes and it's like, so hey, beer is gonna fix that. Maybe I just need to be allowed more time, I don't know. Never made it a week before, perhaps my attempts will be better later. I'll try again tomorrow, besides I don't have much money, so maybe the great god known as default is going to lend me forced strength.
I'm drunk now and I regret it. I also need the money I'm wasting on this, yet I keep doing it and there's like, no answer to it at all. I've been down this path so much, and it's just like a dog trying to eat its tail. Seriously, if I had answers, I'd give them.
Thanks mate. I've never had a problem admitting it to myself that I have a problem. I most certainly do. I just can't admit it to others. Admitted it to my roommate, but he has drug problems. 
Both of us are pretty much in our own world, except he won't admit he has drug problems. I can't force him, and I wouldn't know how to help him. He's an awesome guy, and we're friends more than roomates, but he does not consider consumption problems...well...problems.
How does it work for you? who helps you stay sober?
It's what I keep telling myself. Guess like, you know that angel devil thing, over your shoulder, trying to convince you what choice to make? Guess my angel keeps getting booted by the devil, need to find the will to beat that guy. I know I have to be patient, and I consider myself lucky to not have been drinking so long that I can stop easier than some. But then the depression comes and it's like, so hey, beer is gonna fix that. Maybe I just need to be allowed more time, I don't know. Never made it a week before, perhaps my attempts will be better later. I'll try again tomorrow, besides I don't have much money, so maybe the great god known as default is going to lend me forced strength.
I'm drunk now and I regret it. I also need the money I'm wasting on this, yet I keep doing it and there's like, no answer to it at all. I've been down this path so much, and it's just like a dog trying to eat its tail. Seriously, if I had answers, I'd give them.
the first step with any problem is to accept that there is a problem.
with this awareness MadViking, we can then continue with some appropriate action.
i would suggest that by connecting with SR you are making a start re- appropriate action.
Personally, i simply cannot stay sober on my own. Welcome MadViking. You don't have to ever be alone in doing this.
with this awareness MadViking, we can then continue with some appropriate action.
i would suggest that by connecting with SR you are making a start re- appropriate action.
Personally, i simply cannot stay sober on my own. Welcome MadViking. You don't have to ever be alone in doing this.
Both of us are pretty much in our own world, except he won't admit he has drug problems. I can't force him, and I wouldn't know how to help him. He's an awesome guy, and we're friends more than roomates, but he does not consider consumption problems...well...problems.How does it work for you? who helps you stay sober?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 64
i wonder if its unibroue yer drinking over there in quebec...i know that two bottles of fin de monde and enough weed to keep me lifted (a moving target, as time wore on) was my daily bread for quite some time.
i've been sober for a year and three quarters, through AA. i am constantly being humbled in sobriety, and something i've had to suck on lately is how ungrateful i am. i noticed in reading what you wrote that you're seemingly focusing on what is apparently wrong in your life. in my opinion, this is the nature of the "subtle insanity that precedes the first drink."
it's helpful to consider alcoholism a parasite. it has no life of its own, and cannot obtain its fuel (booze/drugs/"more") except by convincing you that you need it. so it will use whatever tools are available. i would drink if bored and depressed, and i'd drink to celebrate and indulge when something was going right. it made no difference. any reason could take me there. either i was feeling low and i needed "more," or i was feeling high and I deserved "more." or i was stuck in a rut and felt like i might as well get some "more" because whatever was happening, in and of itself, was not enough to satisfy me.
ultimately i went through enough tumbles in the wringer to realize that i was suffering from some kind of terminal dis-ease...i was terminally uncomfortable, irritable, discontented, agitated. the conditions of my life were essentially irrelevant to this feeling, and it was always going to demand relief by getting "more" -- whether in the form of beer, pot, sex, distraction, etc... i became willing to ask for help, and i've found it in AA.
i don't want to lay on the cheez too thickly, but these days i am occasionally overwhelmed with gratitude for the simple goodnesses in my life -- a warm home in these winter months, a stable and often pleasant job, enough food, wonderful companionship and fellowship. stuff that i would have dismissed as commonplace and "beneath me" in some sense. things to which i felt entitled. not enough.
in the end, the common thread in all my problems -- my boredom, my discomfort, strained relationships, not enough money -- was ME. my thoughts, my preferences, my reactions to life. and in time in sobriety i have begun to see that much of what i have taken to be "me" is really this parasite, alcoholism. and i'm not so bored anymore, not so uncomfortable. i have come to taste a new freedom and a new happiness.
in my experience, the single hardest thing to do in sobriety -- harder than any amends or inventory or any other thing i can think of -- is to ride out a craving. it can be monstrously hard, because if you're anything like me, you live from your head and trust your thoughts. but it's your thoughts that tell you that drinking represents a good option. in different situations i have turned to different sources of strength. i've called other people in AA, i've gone for long walks, i've listened to music at unreasonably high volume, i've had too much coffee, i've eaten a sickening amount of ice cream. but i've also come to trust a gut feeling, an intuition -- more reliable than thought -- that says that picking up a drink is simply not the solution to what seems to be ailing me. it's just not. and in time, that has been borne out as truth.
i cannot even begin to describe to you what a gift sobriety is. it is a treasure. and it is available to you, free of charge (in fact, one of the fringe benefits is that you save money). don't give up until the miracle happens...
i've been sober for a year and three quarters, through AA. i am constantly being humbled in sobriety, and something i've had to suck on lately is how ungrateful i am. i noticed in reading what you wrote that you're seemingly focusing on what is apparently wrong in your life. in my opinion, this is the nature of the "subtle insanity that precedes the first drink."
it's helpful to consider alcoholism a parasite. it has no life of its own, and cannot obtain its fuel (booze/drugs/"more") except by convincing you that you need it. so it will use whatever tools are available. i would drink if bored and depressed, and i'd drink to celebrate and indulge when something was going right. it made no difference. any reason could take me there. either i was feeling low and i needed "more," or i was feeling high and I deserved "more." or i was stuck in a rut and felt like i might as well get some "more" because whatever was happening, in and of itself, was not enough to satisfy me.
ultimately i went through enough tumbles in the wringer to realize that i was suffering from some kind of terminal dis-ease...i was terminally uncomfortable, irritable, discontented, agitated. the conditions of my life were essentially irrelevant to this feeling, and it was always going to demand relief by getting "more" -- whether in the form of beer, pot, sex, distraction, etc... i became willing to ask for help, and i've found it in AA.
i don't want to lay on the cheez too thickly, but these days i am occasionally overwhelmed with gratitude for the simple goodnesses in my life -- a warm home in these winter months, a stable and often pleasant job, enough food, wonderful companionship and fellowship. stuff that i would have dismissed as commonplace and "beneath me" in some sense. things to which i felt entitled. not enough.
in the end, the common thread in all my problems -- my boredom, my discomfort, strained relationships, not enough money -- was ME. my thoughts, my preferences, my reactions to life. and in time in sobriety i have begun to see that much of what i have taken to be "me" is really this parasite, alcoholism. and i'm not so bored anymore, not so uncomfortable. i have come to taste a new freedom and a new happiness.
in my experience, the single hardest thing to do in sobriety -- harder than any amends or inventory or any other thing i can think of -- is to ride out a craving. it can be monstrously hard, because if you're anything like me, you live from your head and trust your thoughts. but it's your thoughts that tell you that drinking represents a good option. in different situations i have turned to different sources of strength. i've called other people in AA, i've gone for long walks, i've listened to music at unreasonably high volume, i've had too much coffee, i've eaten a sickening amount of ice cream. but i've also come to trust a gut feeling, an intuition -- more reliable than thought -- that says that picking up a drink is simply not the solution to what seems to be ailing me. it's just not. and in time, that has been borne out as truth.
i cannot even begin to describe to you what a gift sobriety is. it is a treasure. and it is available to you, free of charge (in fact, one of the fringe benefits is that you save money). don't give up until the miracle happens...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
I think for the people who are drawn to a board like SR, alcoholism is already at the point in our lives that it will progress into something even worse. It's not something that stays the same. It does suck, at least initially, but as Dee said, it sucks to be caught up in this addiction, too. We can choose the lesser of two evils (at least right off the bat), which also happens to be the one that will lead to long-term happiness.
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