Just thought I'd remind you guys why relapsing isn't worth it..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Cooper Landing, Alaska
Posts: 19
Just thought I'd remind you guys why relapsing isn't worth it..
I relapsed. Again..
Like most times, this time I thought it would be different and the insanity of alcoholism told me that it would feel good, I would have a good time, just one last night etc, etc. I lost both of my jobs as a result, am now stranded in Utah with little cash to get, wherever the hell I'm supposed to go now. My girlfriend is directly affected by this and I have no idea why she's still with me.
So if anyone is considering picking up again, you made it a few weeks sober and you're feeling good or whatever, if you pick up its almost guaranteed you will destroy everything good you have going on in your life and then some.
Please don't do it, please. I'm begging you.
Like most times, this time I thought it would be different and the insanity of alcoholism told me that it would feel good, I would have a good time, just one last night etc, etc. I lost both of my jobs as a result, am now stranded in Utah with little cash to get, wherever the hell I'm supposed to go now. My girlfriend is directly affected by this and I have no idea why she's still with me.
So if anyone is considering picking up again, you made it a few weeks sober and you're feeling good or whatever, if you pick up its almost guaranteed you will destroy everything good you have going on in your life and then some.
Please don't do it, please. I'm begging you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Bummer to hear, Turnz505, but very common. Let me ask, didn't you know it wasn't worth it before you picked up? And yet, that did very little to stop you.
That's always the way it was with me. In spite of knowing the almost certain consequences, I would pick up anyway. That went on for years in my case; one more experiment with knowing better and still doing it. I finally had to do what others had done to recover, for good and all.
That's always the way it was with me. In spite of knowing the almost certain consequences, I would pick up anyway. That went on for years in my case; one more experiment with knowing better and still doing it. I finally had to do what others had done to recover, for good and all.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
Hi Turnz - I'm really sorry to hear about your situation 
Must be awful and especially this month of the year.
I have no idea of what solutions would be available to you, over there but hopefully someone that lives there, can give you some practical advice about getting home.
Hugs to you Xx
Must be awful and especially this month of the year. I have no idea of what solutions would be available to you, over there but hopefully someone that lives there, can give you some practical advice about getting home.
Hugs to you Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 233
I hear ya. I picked up again seven years ago after being sober for seven and guess what? The beast raised it's ugly head and took over. Fun? Nahhhhhhhhhhh, I don't think so.
I am on day one of a journey that I will continue for the rest of my life.
And yes, it is hard, but worth it. It does get easier too. I know it does.
I am on day one of a journey that I will continue for the rest of my life.
And yes, it is hard, but worth it. It does get easier too. I know it does.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Yes, it is a horrible feeling, that you have let yourself down again and also did it many times. Just get back to where you were and go from there. Hopefully, your circumstances will pick up xx
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Thank you Turnz for relaying that message - even though you're suffering. I'm sure many will benefit from your unselfishness. Please post when you can and let us know how you are doing - we care about you. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Cooper Landing, Alaska
Posts: 19
Update.. And some good news, real good news.
First off, I broke the binge and am approaching 72 hours with no drink. I gave my ID and the rest of my cash to my girlfriend to hold for me and the same night we were offered a place to stay with a woman who subsequently gave us both jobs in exchange for rent. My girlfriend could have chosen to go home out of state but stayed with me, and now we have a roof over our head, a comfy bed and I am sober.
A lot of synchronicity has been happening in the past week since I started praying about this situation and I'm certain your energies sent to me helped tremendously also. I have another chance and am accepting it graciously. I guess this is a huge wake up call and a reality check, if I drink I die. I'm only 25 and my feet have began to burn ferociously ( I suspect alcoholic neuropathy) and my stomach and kidneys ache all the time, I also think my liver is breaking down or something and not holding alcohol well because I seemed to be blacking out every night and had to be told by others what transpired (I even started to lose shame of my actions, disrespected those who were trying to help me and drank whiskey in the AM)..
The one strange thing about this disease, beside all the messed up stuff that happens and how it taxes your body, its like Ive been playing some drunk and belligerent musical chairs and when I finally sober up.. you realize you have no idea how you got to that position.. That feeling to me is all too familiar (I woke up in Kansas City once from partying in New Mexico, ironically how I met my girlfriend who does not drink).. thats how I feel now, but I think I'm gonna stop the random insanity for good now and play the cards on my table, in Mormon country Utah LOL.. Pretty beautiful place and I think I have played with fire enough for more than a lifetime.
still grateful nonetheless and maybe this is where I was meant to end up. Thank you guys for whatever energy you sent my way to help this happen, I believe in miracles and prayers being answered and I really appreciate your responses. Gonna try to go all the way this time and will try to keep posting my progress- thanks again!!
First off, I broke the binge and am approaching 72 hours with no drink. I gave my ID and the rest of my cash to my girlfriend to hold for me and the same night we were offered a place to stay with a woman who subsequently gave us both jobs in exchange for rent. My girlfriend could have chosen to go home out of state but stayed with me, and now we have a roof over our head, a comfy bed and I am sober.
A lot of synchronicity has been happening in the past week since I started praying about this situation and I'm certain your energies sent to me helped tremendously also. I have another chance and am accepting it graciously. I guess this is a huge wake up call and a reality check, if I drink I die. I'm only 25 and my feet have began to burn ferociously ( I suspect alcoholic neuropathy) and my stomach and kidneys ache all the time, I also think my liver is breaking down or something and not holding alcohol well because I seemed to be blacking out every night and had to be told by others what transpired (I even started to lose shame of my actions, disrespected those who were trying to help me and drank whiskey in the AM)..
The one strange thing about this disease, beside all the messed up stuff that happens and how it taxes your body, its like Ive been playing some drunk and belligerent musical chairs and when I finally sober up.. you realize you have no idea how you got to that position.. That feeling to me is all too familiar (I woke up in Kansas City once from partying in New Mexico, ironically how I met my girlfriend who does not drink).. thats how I feel now, but I think I'm gonna stop the random insanity for good now and play the cards on my table, in Mormon country Utah LOL.. Pretty beautiful place and I think I have played with fire enough for more than a lifetime.
still grateful nonetheless and maybe this is where I was meant to end up. Thank you guys for whatever energy you sent my way to help this happen, I believe in miracles and prayers being answered and I really appreciate your responses. Gonna try to go all the way this time and will try to keep posting my progress- thanks again!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Glad to see things are better, Turnz505! I hope you grab onto this chance with both hands and never let go. Not only did you catch a break it sounds like you've got a seriously awesome GF on your hands!
Be good to each other.
Be good to each other.
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