James18

My girlfriend and I went xmas shopping yesterday and I met her in the pub. I started off by having a coffee but when she turned up we both had a lager - that was it, a bottle of vodka and 3 or 4 lagers later I woke up feeling like crap.

I didn't have to have a drink, I chose to and this is the result. I'm really fed up of this. I'ver barely recovered from the last massive bender and I'm back on it already.

Nonsensical

So you've got the meeting-at-a-pub-was-a-bad-idea check in the box. What's the plan now? Thinking of trying anything different to maintain your sobriety?

James18

I don't know. Avoiding pubs seems logical but it's not going to solve anything...I don't know what I can do to not have that first drink. I keep falling for the same routine - "i'll just have a couple and leave it at that". Never has worked, never will.

Nonsensical

I agree that avoiding pubs is only a temporary solution, but it could provide you the time you need to figure out the long term solution - which seems to have something to do with you not falling for that lie the alcoholic living in your head keeps telling you.

I had a very similar pattern. My mistake was I kept hoping that liar would stop lying to me. It took me a really long time to figure out that I couldn't change him, and I needed to become someone who stopped believing his lies. That means changing me.

Dee74

No but I kept trying because, basically, I didn't want to change my life.
Change scared me.

Unfortunately James, if you don't change? Things are going to get worse and worse and worse...

D

heath480

Sorry you are struggling,but you have realised staying away from the first drink is what you need to do.

It is advisable to stay out of pubs before you have a decent amount of sober time behind you.You don't have to stay out of them for the rest of your life.

If you continue to drink it will get worse,that is guaranteed.

Wishing you well,drink plenty of water today.

Shining~Again

Hiya James - I'll just chime in with a suggestion that worked for me.

Meeting or popping into a pub/restaurant/anywhere that serves booze? Eat something
and have a soda.
For ME (me me me) getting something into my stomach and the sugar from lovely pepsi took away all desire for alcohol.

I practice HALT - Am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired/thirsty?
Once I take care of the food/drink part, I had no problem saying no.
Maybe I was just lucky. Dunno. It worked...the rest was me having to change everywhere I went till I made it a habit to not buy beer.

The first time I shopped for groceries after quitting was a HUGE thing. I forget many things, have terrible memory, but I remember that day like it was a hour ago.

Keep on keeping on!

James18

Hi Lethe, yeah eating something is good advice. That is what I attempted to do bit my oh said she wasn't hungry so that didn't happen. I did try yesterday, just not very hard.

ScottFromWI

How about AA or NA? Maybe a little more structure and accountability will help you get you started in then right path.

doggonecarl

Yet you keep trying. THAT is the insanity of alcoholism. You wouldn't believe the insane rantings of a crazy man, would you?

Why believe the insane thoughts in your head when it comes to drinking?

KateL

I avoided pubs in the beginning. Good idea. I can go to pubs no problem now x

IOAA2

Hi. Prior to me finally sobering up I tried to do all the things I did while drinking and got nowhere except not feeling not very good the next morning. I finally got into AA and bounced around some more giving my way more chances but always failing until I surrendered to the fact I could not drink in SAFETY. Then I heard profound pearls like being honest with myself about my drinking and facts like " if I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober AGAIN. Keep coming was very important also.

BE WELL

James18

Maybe you're right but I don't want to take that step unless I really have to though. I would rather try and stop this myself. Structure and accountability would benefit my life in general right now I think.

doggonecarl

James, isn't that what you've been doing since you joined? Trying it by yourself? And how's that working? AA...no AA...That's your call. But whatever you are doing now, recovery-wise, isn't keeping you sober.

James18

Yeah, I know how stupid it sounds.

zeppodog

I've been down the " I'm just going to have a couple" road many times and I'm sure most folks on this site have been there too or they wouldn't be on this site. I found I have to avoid people and places that make it hard to abstain from drinking. Good luck, you know what doesn't work, time to try something different if you want to stay sober.

James18

If I do get help, where do I start? Can I just go to the doctor's and say I want to stop drinking but I'm struggling?

I'm trying to formulate some kind of action plan and maybe I do need some help.

zeppodog

That's one way, or call some treatment centers and talk about options. good luck

veryready

There is beer in our fridge from the holidays. I have been sober for a year, but I still feel like it needs to go down the drain. Like as soon as I finish typing this. AA is great, but at some point you need to put some distance between yourself and the alcohol. If we continue to walk on ice, eventually we will all slip.

Dee74

Here are some good UK numbers to call & links to look at, James

The National Alcohol Helpline-UK - Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.

UK National AA Helpline
08457 697 555

FRANK

SMART Recovery - SMART Recovery UK

Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd - Home

Addaction | Drugs & Alcohol Addiction and Recovery: Support - Help - Advice - Treatment

Alcohol services | Alcohol Concern

and some NHS links
Find Support services for alcohol addiction services - NHS Choices

D