Ladyteeslove

Hi everyone my name is TT also known as LadyT and answer to both I'm new here but not new to the pain addiction causes. I joined SR in April, but did not know what I was doing, really i jumped right to a forum just for an answer to an important question opened a thread not really knowing how to do it correctly so tonight I decided to start overfrom scratch do it right, read all the rules&guidelines of SR and start from the top and introduce myself in this room because I've come to the reality that I can't stay sober or fight this fight by myself I had to much pride and admitting I was powerless was something this girl never thought she'd do! Until I stood at that turning point facing life or death which I was killing myself daily my using was out of control and I became a self seeking selfish all about me unrecognizable b#&*-h that I'd grown to hate. I don't want to be that woman any longer I became desperate for help,admitted their was a problem and then became willing to change.. A little about me I'm 32 yr old woman I'm also a mother sister daughter and best friend. Who wants to live and not just exist I've used for about 15 yrs lost alot Gained it back and lost it again. I'm sick of losing and being in crowds of people and still feeling alone and never fully fitting in I've always hung in different cliques as a teen and early 20's during bar hopping and clubbing but always feeling like my own best friend and own worst enemy. So I thought I'd join this site to give &to receive support and to feel some sense of belonging and what better place to do it I swear some addicts / alcoholics in recovery can be some of the most understanding, encouraging
loving supportive Human beings I've ever met ,and on the outside its cold cruel and roufh out there and i need some lovin,strength& hope up in here lol..So I feel I'm in the right place even tho at times in recovery I don't know if I'm coming or going these last few months have been hard good the hard again I've been on emotional rolletcoasters stay in bed tune the world out junkfood beinges and severe mood swings someone out. There please tell me if this is apart of recovery, because somedays I don't know if I'm loosing it coming or going.
It's like I've been numb for 10+ yrs and now the floodgates switch has been opened up &
turned on. for reading everyone and in advance for your positivity. Heyyyy I'm getting pretty good at this sharing thing and opening up. Who wouldda thunk it

least

I'm glad you've joined us and are sharing your struggles. We are here to support you in your goal to get clean.