Thoughts on 90 days

Old 11-25-2013, 06:26 PM
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Thoughts on 90 days

Today I have 90 days. When I came here I said that I was drinking a box of wine a week. Try a box of wine every 5 days and tons of weekend drinks. Denial, even when I was quitting.

I realized how very physically sick and ill I was. It was a total revelation to be able to wake up and feel like I can do something beyond trying not to vomit.

I am no longer a zombie. My life has changed so dramatically. I look so, so, so much better. I feel so much better. The liver pain has abated. I enjoy parenting and get so much more out of it. I feel like an honest, ethical person with integrity. My relationships are better. I have learned to interact with people without using alcohol as a lubricant.

I am saving money. I am feeling inspired. And thank God the "obsession" and constant, stressful thoughts about drinking are gone.

I have learned to actually feel my feelings instead of trying to numb them and ablate myself. I may not react appropriately every time but I at least feel them. I realized that yes, in life, big girls feel like crap once in a while, get angry, feel lonely, cry, are bored, and our task is to sit with it until it passes. That is all part of the grand human experience that we were given.

My gratitude for anything and everything these days is just off the charts.

I spent a long time just looking at one day at a time and refusing to think about forever because it was too overwhelming. Now I can see a future without alcohol and I look forward to it.

I read books and I told people that I was no longer drinking. I didn't say why, because it's not their business. But just the act of telling people was reinforcing. A big game changer for me was SR. I have been here every single day since I decided to quit. I invested myself into my September class and developed transformative relationships with my classmates and I just love them all. I feel so grateful for them and for all of SR for helping me find my way. I'm going to attend some meetings so that I can be physically present with other people in recovery.

I just want to say thank you also to all of my classmates as well as Dee and EternalQ. I read everything you all post and it always makes me stop and think.

Thank you SR for all of the support and encouragement. I am so grateful for you!
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:36 PM
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Congratulations, Renarde!! Thank you for this inspiring post! I really lapped it up, as 90 days is my next big goal. (finishing up Day 58 today)
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:39 PM
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Congrats 90 day mate!
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:42 PM
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Thanks for being such an inspiration! It is possible indeed!

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Old 11-25-2013, 06:43 PM
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Wonderful post! Congratulations!!!
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:43 PM
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Congratulations on the 90 days!

Now, just keep plugging along, one day at a time. That's how the days add up.
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:45 PM
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Thankful for your post, Renarde. Inspiring, to say the least.

So happy for you!
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:47 PM
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Beautiful and very inspiring post. Heartfelt congrats to you !
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Old 11-25-2013, 06:52 PM
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Wow....congratulations! This type of post makes me feel so darn happy about sobriety. I hope someone on Day 1 reads this right now and realizes how positive life can get when we put down the drink. Great post, great story, and great for you!
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:04 PM
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Congratulations! 90 days is awesome.
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:16 PM
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So happy for you Renarde. You are a blessing and I am thankful for you! Congratulations!
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:25 PM
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I feel much the same way! 122days for me!
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:35 PM
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Congratulations Renarde! You bring so much to the board, what a wonderful post!
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:42 PM
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You rock, Renarde, congratulations!
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Old 11-25-2013, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Renarde View Post
I have learned to actually feel my feelings instead of trying to numb them and ablate myself. I may not react appropriately every time but I at least feel them.
Way to go! Congrats.
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Old 11-25-2013, 08:09 PM
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Great post, Renarde. Congrats on 90 days.
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Old 11-25-2013, 08:10 PM
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Way to go!
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:02 PM
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Thanks for posting. I'm only 5 days sober and I'm feeling pretty thrashed--poor sleep. It really helps to see that this kind of joy and excitement is atainable. Congrats on 90 days, for sure.
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:51 PM
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Old 11-25-2013, 09:52 PM
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Congrats on your first 90!
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