Thoughts on 90 days
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Thoughts on 90 days
Today I have 90 days. When I came here I said that I was drinking a box of wine a week. Try a box of wine every 5 days and tons of weekend drinks. Denial, even when I was quitting.
I realized how very physically sick and ill I was. It was a total revelation to be able to wake up and feel like I can do something beyond trying not to vomit.
I am no longer a zombie. My life has changed so dramatically. I look so, so, so much better. I feel so much better. The liver pain has abated. I enjoy parenting and get so much more out of it. I feel like an honest, ethical person with integrity. My relationships are better. I have learned to interact with people without using alcohol as a lubricant.
I am saving money. I am feeling inspired. And thank God the "obsession" and constant, stressful thoughts about drinking are gone.
I have learned to actually feel my feelings instead of trying to numb them and ablate myself. I may not react appropriately every time but I at least feel them. I realized that yes, in life, big girls feel like crap once in a while, get angry, feel lonely, cry, are bored, and our task is to sit with it until it passes. That is all part of the grand human experience that we were given.
My gratitude for anything and everything these days is just off the charts.
I spent a long time just looking at one day at a time and refusing to think about forever because it was too overwhelming. Now I can see a future without alcohol and I look forward to it.
I read books and I told people that I was no longer drinking. I didn't say why, because it's not their business. But just the act of telling people was reinforcing. A big game changer for me was SR. I have been here every single day since I decided to quit. I invested myself into my September class and developed transformative relationships with my classmates and I just love them all. I feel so grateful for them and for all of SR for helping me find my way. I'm going to attend some meetings so that I can be physically present with other people in recovery.
I just want to say thank you also to all of my classmates as well as Dee and EternalQ. I read everything you all post and it always makes me stop and think.
Thank you SR for all of the support and encouragement. I am so grateful for you!
I realized how very physically sick and ill I was. It was a total revelation to be able to wake up and feel like I can do something beyond trying not to vomit.
I am no longer a zombie. My life has changed so dramatically. I look so, so, so much better. I feel so much better. The liver pain has abated. I enjoy parenting and get so much more out of it. I feel like an honest, ethical person with integrity. My relationships are better. I have learned to interact with people without using alcohol as a lubricant.
I am saving money. I am feeling inspired. And thank God the "obsession" and constant, stressful thoughts about drinking are gone.
I have learned to actually feel my feelings instead of trying to numb them and ablate myself. I may not react appropriately every time but I at least feel them. I realized that yes, in life, big girls feel like crap once in a while, get angry, feel lonely, cry, are bored, and our task is to sit with it until it passes. That is all part of the grand human experience that we were given.
My gratitude for anything and everything these days is just off the charts.
I spent a long time just looking at one day at a time and refusing to think about forever because it was too overwhelming. Now I can see a future without alcohol and I look forward to it.
I read books and I told people that I was no longer drinking. I didn't say why, because it's not their business. But just the act of telling people was reinforcing. A big game changer for me was SR. I have been here every single day since I decided to quit. I invested myself into my September class and developed transformative relationships with my classmates and I just love them all. I feel so grateful for them and for all of SR for helping me find my way. I'm going to attend some meetings so that I can be physically present with other people in recovery.
I just want to say thank you also to all of my classmates as well as Dee and EternalQ. I read everything you all post and it always makes me stop and think.
Thank you SR for all of the support and encouragement. I am so grateful for you!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Wow....congratulations! This type of post makes me feel so darn happy about sobriety. I hope someone on Day 1 reads this right now and realizes how positive life can get when we put down the drink. Great post, great story, and great for you!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 327
Originally Posted by Renarde 
I have learned to actually feel my feelings instead of trying to numb them and ablate myself. I may not react appropriately every time but I at least feel them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
Thanks for posting. I'm only 5 days sober and I'm feeling pretty thrashed--poor sleep. It really helps to see that this kind of joy and excitement is atainable. Congrats on 90 days, for sure.
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