malcolmsloan

What happens to the energy and motivation that I wake up with? Is it because I'm tired? I had a moment about a half hour ago when I forgot I was doing this and the "thought" of drinking came into my mind. But it was not really a thought but more of a feeling, a consciousness, like a wave washing over me. I caught it, got back on track in my mind, but there is a kind of mental residue. Still, I'm not going to drink tonight, but I can tell I'm in for a fight as the darkness evolves. I am going to pray that, eventually, this gets easier. I want to stop the mental war, the battle. I want it to go away. Why can't we just cut out the desire to drink with knife, like a sergon, and say, "there it is, I got it. Now you can live a normal life." Feeling low, but I can do it. (sorry for the mixed metaphors)

bigsombrero

You can pray if you want, but you don't have to. Because it does get easier. But right now, you're still training for that first marathon. This means short, simple steps...that often feel exhausting. Many of us have been there. And yes, it can get worse before it gets better - but it WILL get better. Trust us. You are doing the right thing, and you have the support and respect of all of us who have been there before - and those of us who are trying to get there. Well done.

Vedette

I hope you have a good night malcolm. I've had similar "well its time to drink" moments. I guess old habits die hard. Do you have a Doctor that can help you with something to get over the hump?

soberclover

You are doing great! Keep the positive attitude about not drinking....the fog does lift after awhile

mecanix

I used to go to bed early …
Have you ran through the HALT stuff ? hungry , angry , lonely , tired ? i think bored should be there as well but it dosnt make for such a nice acronym .

For when my motivation drops , books , warm slippers and a cup of tea with a shortbread biscuit and a nice sit down makes everything seem a little bit better , just enough to take the edge off

Take care , m

PS if you haven't read this it might come in useful :- http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

JaylaaKent

I just got 30 days - and I get extremely tired. My DR said my body is working overtime to "heal" all of the physiological damage done by years of drinking (for me it was only a 4 year career). Neurological repair (stabilizing serotonin/dopamine) could take up to 18 months Not encouraging, but if you think about it at least you know you are legitimately tired and need to be EASY on yourself. The energy comes/goes for me - the cravings come/go. I just keep focusing what everyone tells me - it will get better. But if I don't at least listen to my DR I won't know the full extent of HOW much BETTER it will get unless I stay sober for at LEAST 18 months. Hope this makes sense. Congrats on your sober time. The first few days takes a strong person.

Mecanix has some great advice - try comfort measures.

malcolmsloan

Thanks everyone, good suggestions. I have a fear of sleep meds. I went throug a bit of a battle with those over-the-counter sleep aids. I used them to stop drinking for a few days, and the next thing I knew I was drinking and taking the sleep aid. I ended up doing both for about a year. I haven't had any sleep aids in about 6 months now. Again, thanks so much for the support. This is a tough night, but I'm going to grind it out. It helps to know others are striving to live this way, have been through, and are going through this crucible.

ZeldaFan

The first week or so is the most difficult and even more so usually at night. Not being able to sleep and stuck with your thoughts can definitely be hard! I remember my first week having three or four nights full of anxiety and sleeplessness. It does get better as everyone says. I find reading really helps me to shut down my other thoughts. That and some sleepy time tea helps me when I'm having trouble getting into my nighttime mindset.

Hang in there! You are definitely not alone on this journey! Plus, many of us are up super late so you at least have this site to keep you occupied late at night if you can't sleep and need a distraction.

Bird800

Hang in there malcolm, it gets better! Congrats on day 4!