LizzyLo

Hello everyone, I am a newcomer to this site but not really to sobriety...Although it still kind of feels like it. On Dec 5 I will have been sober for a year. I am very proud of this but it has been very difficult and lonely. I have never been a regular attendee of meetings. When I first got sober I tried to go once a week, and in the past six months I have probably only attended 6 times. I never had a sponsor. I am a very private, introverted person and that is probably why I have shied away from group support and just dealt with everything myself. I guess I came here looking for some kind of support. I would like to get to regular meetings but it is hard to make myself go after long days at work. Keeping everything to myself has made me have increased anxiety levels, something I am already prone to... One of my main struggles is being young a sober when all of my friends are going out to bars shows. I have a serious boyfriend who is wonderful and supportive. He drinks on weekends moderately and always after checking with me that it is ok. Of course Im going to say that it is even if sometimes I am uncomfortable, I don't want to drag him down.
My biggest issue at the moment is that alcohol and "partying" still causes me so much stress that I cannot enjoy activities I normally would have, because of the abundance of alcohol. I have a hard time enjoying concerts at small venues when my friends and boyfriend are enjoying a few drinks. It is hard enough just to keep my anxiety down and put on a brave face much less actually have fun. I am going out of town this weekend for an ultimate Frisbee tournament, something I greatly enjoy, but it is a thanksgiving party themed tourney, one I attended last year and drank during. Much of it revolves around drinking. I wouldn't have gone if my boyfriend didn't make a team. Now I find myself anxious and dreading this weekend which I should be really excited about.
I just often wish that alcohol didn't even exist. I am sober, but I feel like alcohol defeats me every day and is still controlling me by not allowing me to enjoy my life to the fullest.
Glad I have a place to rant
-Lizzy

Nonsensical

WELCOME

Lots to learn if you read the forums here. Lots to learn from people who have beat the addiction.

resolute50

Welcome to SR,Lizzy.
And congrats on coming up to a 1 year anniversary.

Skye2

and 1 year is phenomenal - well done

least

Welcome to the family. Congrats on one year sober too. As to social events, I think in time you will get used to going and staying sober. Have a little faith in yourself.

Dee74

Hi LizzyLo

even after a year I couldn't go back and do the kinds of social things I used to - they fitted drunk Dee, not the man I'd become...I'd grown.

Maybe your needs are different now too?

D

D

KateL

Congratulations

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Lizzy I found it hard to drag myself to meetings too, but I always managed to sit gormlessly in front of the computer no matter how rough my day was. You will find a lot of support here

Regarding the social events... Have you found anything that is non alcohol based which you enjoy? I found it so hard being around other drinkers all the time, even moderate ones, but I was lucky enough to make a few new friends out walking my dog and took part in activities where the issue of alcohol never even came up. There are people I have met since I stopped drinking who have no idea if I drink or not. I find that pretty cool. Now I find it okay hanging around at gigs and in pubs but I really need that balance, I always said that if I spend time around people drinking then I need to spend an equal amount of time around sober people...

Glad you are here x

Hevyn

Hello Lizzy! We're so glad to have you join us. Believe me, we understand just how you're feeling. I hope it helps to talk it over with people who've been there.

Congratulations on your almost one year - that is wonderful.

IOAA2

Hi. In the beginning of my sober journey I had many of your characteristics and reactions. When I slowed down or stopped going to meetings I'd be miserable and felt I might as well be drinking etc. I found we in general are people needing people especially people who understand us like here. I also needed personal interaction like at meetings. As time went on many of my likes/dislikes changed to the point of me feeling comfortable in my own skin along with the promises of being and acting sober. Again, it works IF we work it.

BE WELL