ClaireFraser

AM37, I'm only 19 days in, but can say that making the decision that sobriety was what was going to work wasn't easy for a long time. I desperately wanted moderation to work because I loved the idea of me with a wine glass, being relaxed and happy. And I was--for about 15 minutes. Then all I thought about was how was I going to be able to drink enough to "relax" me without letting anyone else know how much I was going to drink. Then I'd regret it the next day, only to do it again a week later. Since I've decided not to drink anymore, the first couple of weekends were a little stressful because my friends and family are, for the most part, very appropriate moderate and light drinkers and I felt deprived. But in the past week, I feel like something clicked and I realized I like myself better sober and I'm pretty sure that everyone else does, too. And I like waking up rested every day. And having all the extra money to buy what I want and not the expensive wine I previously felt I deserved. What helped me quiet the voice saying I could handle one or two and would be fine was watching a video series about alcoholism that was recommended on this site (and now I can't remember the name) that followed a few alcoholics in late stage alcoholism. Watching them made me realize that I could wind up there if I didn't stop while I was behind.

A bonus (if you need some extra motivation): 19 days in and I'm down 8 pounds and haven't changed a single thing in my eating and exercise habits other than dropping the wine. Now that's a GOOD thing!

And grieving the loss of the drinking is, I understand, quite normal. I certainly did it and still do, and probably will for awhile. And I'm ok with that.

AM37

ClaireFraser, thank you for your reply. I felt straight from the heart and I appreciate your honesty. Thank you sooooo much x

DoubleDragons

AM37, here's reality. You can always go back to drinking wine. There are no laws against it. Any one of us can at any time. I personally devoted about 27 years to drinking wine pretty regularly.(except when I was pregnant) I felt like I owed it to myself and to my family to give sobriety "a fair shot." There was a thread recently that showed that the majority of people here on SR felt no major cravings or withdrawal symptoms after about 3 months of sobriety. Give yourself three months. Keep a journal and be an observer of yourself. Just reflect on what is happening. What is positive about sobriety, what is positive about drinking, etc. Join a sobriety support group (such as the month of sobriety groups here, or AA or something else) and give it a good honest try. 3 months versus 27 years is nothing !!! I felt my body, my brain, my soul deserved that try. I am on Day 52 and the 4 hours of the 168 hours in a week that I truly miss drinking is nothing, nothing compared to all of the positive things I have received from sobriety: better sleep, better relations with my husband and children, better skin, better body, better energy, no recent shameful events to cringe about, no headaches/body aches/ hangovers, no pain from my ulcers, no digestive issues, etc. etc. etc. Read Jason Vale's Kick the Drink . . . Easily. He shows alcohol for what it really is: a poisonous, addictive drug (that causes more deaths and collateral damage than any other drugs combined) that really shouldn't be ingested by anyone. Do this for yourself. You deserve better than what you have been giving yourself.

sweetmamaof3

Double Dragons, although that wasn't written for me, thank you. I needed to hear all of that.

zombiegirl

Hi hun. I'm a mum n I work I used to go through spells on not drinking but always went back to winr n beer. I do have some great friends my true friends who don't judge if I don't drink in also have those fair weather friends who try their very best to get me to.
If I get invited out by those I have learnt to turn them down as I am not been belittled with peer pressure especially from adults.

I have given up for myself and my children they don't need a hungover mummy who loses patience at the drop of a hat.
I went nearly 2 years to conceive my kids I can go the rest of their life's to enjoy them xxxx
Drink is not our friend it is that idiot at the other side of a room saying things n showing them self up.

Please msg me if u want a mummy chat xxx