Very tired of it all
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
Very tired of it all
I realize I have dug myself a hole, with drinking and everything else. I just feel like I keep getting knocked down. Maybe I've brought it on myself, maybe it's Karma. Maybe the world can sometimes be a cold place. How do you keep trudging along when things aren't falling your way? It's just hard to stay positive
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I know drinking might only be one of the problems , but it is possible to give it up so as not to be adding to our own burdens .
I found a depression i didn't know i had, i'd had it for so long, went after 6 months continuous sobriety.
Buddha said "all in life is pain , death and destruction" but to me this doesn't mean that the things we do are not worthwhile doing .
*hugs*, m
I found a depression i didn't know i had, i'd had it for so long, went after 6 months continuous sobriety.
Buddha said "all in life is pain , death and destruction" but to me this doesn't mean that the things we do are not worthwhile doing .
*hugs*, m
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
The booze is only one part of the whole recovery process. Its a lot of work and the deeper we have dug the more work to climb out. That said, when we break through the clouds and turbulence the blue sky makes it all worthwhile.
You have definitely brought it on yourself and I don't even know the extent - gambling relationship, whatever? But you can amend these wrongs and set things straight and enjoy the positive energy.
I find that I fall into these energy pockets good and bad. So knowing that if I have some crap to wade through there might be more but if it does not kill me I will come out stronger and when things turn I get a window for a while.
Good luck, this too shall pass…keep the chin up and do the work you have your fair share of good times to offset the current tough ones - just how the universe works.
You have definitely brought it on yourself and I don't even know the extent - gambling relationship, whatever? But you can amend these wrongs and set things straight and enjoy the positive energy.
I find that I fall into these energy pockets good and bad. So knowing that if I have some crap to wade through there might be more but if it does not kill me I will come out stronger and when things turn I get a window for a while.
Good luck, this too shall pass…keep the chin up and do the work you have your fair share of good times to offset the current tough ones - just how the universe works.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Mirage, 2009-2012 were probably the most stressful, miserable years of my life. However, where they brought me is to a place of peace and so much personal growth that I don't think I would have had, had I not gone through that scary, worrisome time in my life. I read once that your life is the blue sky, the constant, the never-changing, the eternal. Yes clouds come, storms come, but they always, always pass.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
You are…you are fighting with your mind. In fact, you may actually be enslaved by your mind. Try the book: The Power of Now, by Ehkart Toll. As you become sober - not sure how long you have been at this but it exacerbates everything.
PArt of the step one with unmanageable part for me was realizing when I removed aclhol the house of cards fell apart. I used and needed alcohol to cope and had to work hard to fill this void with other things. This was not easy.
Post, call a sponsor or call a friend who gets this. Your not alone, your not unique, you have your baggage as do all of us, myself included. I am guessing my baggage is probably similar to yours.
Go for a walk, workout, cuddle up on the sofa with a nice book - try to separate from what your mind is telling you to do. Live in the moment. Good luck!
PArt of the step one with unmanageable part for me was realizing when I removed aclhol the house of cards fell apart. I used and needed alcohol to cope and had to work hard to fill this void with other things. This was not easy.
Post, call a sponsor or call a friend who gets this. Your not alone, your not unique, you have your baggage as do all of us, myself included. I am guessing my baggage is probably similar to yours.
Go for a walk, workout, cuddle up on the sofa with a nice book - try to separate from what your mind is telling you to do. Live in the moment. Good luck!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
As much as I dislike attaching such caveats to relevant posts, AA is not a panacea, and I don't push it here or anywhere else. But, in answer to your question, there are good reasons why people benefit from the spiritual solution that AA offers.
You don't need to look for it in AA alone; spirituality can be found in the strangest places.
You don't need to look for it in AA alone; spirituality can be found in the strangest places.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Natalie from the facts of life " sometimes you need to quit asking why does the train keep hitting me? Start asking what the hell am I still doing in the tracks?" There is a better way and sober you can find it Mirage.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
I find service work - helping others, even volunteering help me with my depression. Hang in there - new sobriety has been hard for me too. Not only am I dealing with day-to-day problems but the garbage pail of crap I did in my past drinking days. Some of my problems are pretty serious - with my kids, ex husband - but I can not change it - only make it better. I'm not the FIRST idiot who screwed up their life and tried to fix it. I try to use my own issues to be more patient with others - less judgmental. Being sober is definitely something to be happy about - it you have a lot of gloom.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
Thanks again everyone. I've actually got 60 days tomorrow, so it's not brand new. Once the novelty of being newly sober has worn off, it seems I'm left with a big pile of you-know-what. I just feel consumed by anger, which is hard to deal with. No one wants to be around an angry person.
Volunteer work is a good idea. Action is better than inaction.
Volunteer work is a good idea. Action is better than inaction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Just me but I think all people have trouble staying positive all the time. Sometimes life is hard. Whatever the hard is. Every human knows pain and suffering.
All I know is me. I never could find meaning outside myself until I found it within me. And I found that when I was so low and so tired and so beaten down that I finally said if I have to go live in a forest like a hermit in a loin cloth with a beggars bowl for the remainder of my years so be it. It's got to be better than this. And then it started to get better. When I was willing to let it all go, it began to lift. It was when I also became willing to do whatever means necessary to quit drinking so I could let it go. Drinking for me made it impossible for me to let go. I think that's why it's hard at first when we quit. We are so use to holding with such a tight grip. It takes time to soften.
So I kind of became fearless in a way. Not out of strength but out of letting go.
I hope you find your meaning. You have one. You just don't feel it now. It's there.
All I know is me. I never could find meaning outside myself until I found it within me. And I found that when I was so low and so tired and so beaten down that I finally said if I have to go live in a forest like a hermit in a loin cloth with a beggars bowl for the remainder of my years so be it. It's got to be better than this. And then it started to get better. When I was willing to let it all go, it began to lift. It was when I also became willing to do whatever means necessary to quit drinking so I could let it go. Drinking for me made it impossible for me to let go. I think that's why it's hard at first when we quit. We are so use to holding with such a tight grip. It takes time to soften.
So I kind of became fearless in a way. Not out of strength but out of letting go.
I hope you find your meaning. You have one. You just don't feel it now. It's there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Mirage74 
Thanks again everyone. I've actually got 60 days tomorrow, so it's not brand new. Once the novelty of being newly sober has worn off, it seems I'm left with a big pile of you-know-what. I just feel consumed by anger, which is hard to deal with. No one wants to be around an angry person.
Volunteer work is a good idea. Action is better than inaction.
Volunteer work is a good idea. Action is better than inaction.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
Originally Posted by 360shoes
When I was willing to let it all go, it began to lift. It was when I also became willing to do whatever means necessary to quit drinking so I could let it go. Drinking for me made it impossible for me to let go. I think that's why it's hard at first when we quit. We are so use to holding with such a tight grip. It takes time to soften.
So I kind of became fearless in a way. Not out of strength but out of letting go.
So I kind of became fearless in a way. Not out of strength but out of letting go.
Mirage, Thanks for sharing this. I deeply hope that things lighten for you. 30 days is an achievement to hold up high in yourself. As 360 and other posters here say - now you are facing your life and your feelings squarely. It is hard now, but you want to do it. You wouldn't be here if you didnt.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I don't think it's mandatory to stay positive. It's mandatory that we keep on going, and stay open to reality. Because there probably are some things that are good in our life if we allow themselves to see them, and even if we are at the bottomest bottom now, if we keep going good things will come. Acceptance.
But we do have to make the choice to stay open to changes in our selves and circumstances, because we can get into the bad habit of only seeing and being open to and accepting the negative.
I went through a period in my life where I was so braced to get a "NO" in my life, that I didn't know what to do when life said "YES!"
A line from a Smashing Pumpkins song "Intoxicated, with madness, I'm in love with, my sadness..."
But we do have to make the choice to stay open to changes in our selves and circumstances, because we can get into the bad habit of only seeing and being open to and accepting the negative.
I went through a period in my life where I was so braced to get a "NO" in my life, that I didn't know what to do when life said "YES!"
A line from a Smashing Pumpkins song "Intoxicated, with madness, I'm in love with, my sadness..."
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
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Originally Posted by Brianv2
How are you doing today mirage?
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