I write... To fill the void
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 36
I write... To fill the void
Depression sounds like fear
He ain't shut up in years
I ain't shaved in weeks
My outlook is bleak
Haven't ate I'm days
So my clothes fit baggy
Been in a haze
Nowhere near happy
Gotta control this hunger
Yet I'm starving
So I get angry
& lose everything
Lost in my mind
Nowhere to run...
Nowhere to run
Yet I'm still determined
I'm not a preacher
And this is no sermon
Damn I'm hurting
Hoping it's almost over
With death I'm flirting
Trying to get sober...
So I write to fill the void. Scratched this up as I was typing.
He ain't shut up in years
I ain't shaved in weeks
My outlook is bleak
Haven't ate I'm days
So my clothes fit baggy
Been in a haze
Nowhere near happy
Gotta control this hunger
Yet I'm starving
So I get angry
& lose everything
Lost in my mind
Nowhere to run...
Nowhere to run
Yet I'm still determined
I'm not a preacher
And this is no sermon
Damn I'm hurting
Hoping it's almost over
With death I'm flirting
Trying to get sober...
So I write to fill the void. Scratched this up as I was typing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Well, if you have diagnosed depression and are actively using or drinking, I've been in your boat.
If you are sober and still have depression, move over, we can row together.
Depression and alcoholism and drug addiction go hand in hand. The solution to my mental illness was using! It got me to the one emotion I could handle -- complete, unadulterated, overriding apathy.
I've been sober for three years now and struggle mightily with depression. Crippling, in fact. The only suggestion I can offer you is to find immediate help in getting sober, and suffer through the pit of despair that will follow, and find quality mental health care.
You got any options?
If you are sober and still have depression, move over, we can row together.
Depression and alcoholism and drug addiction go hand in hand. The solution to my mental illness was using! It got me to the one emotion I could handle -- complete, unadulterated, overriding apathy.
I've been sober for three years now and struggle mightily with depression. Crippling, in fact. The only suggestion I can offer you is to find immediate help in getting sober, and suffer through the pit of despair that will follow, and find quality mental health care.
You got any options?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 36
Yeah been diagnosed and am currently 2 days sober. I agree that the solution was using. Congrats on 3 years. Really amazing. Hope I can get there.know I can get there. Still no small feat. As far as mental health care, I've been limited in with the exception of being diagnosed with this issue.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
There is a good chance that your depression will lift. In my case Alchool was causing the depression. Alchool is brutal for that.
Just hang in there and get help if sobriety dosent help. But do remember you experience grief. After all you lost that "friend" now that you are sober. But the friendship was toxic.
Just hang in there and get help if sobriety dosent help. But do remember you experience grief. After all you lost that "friend" now that you are sober. But the friendship was toxic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 36
I hear you... But my using was more of a solution to the depression. The depression was there before the substances. The substances made the depression ok to deal with. So now being sober without the substances it's the scary thought of what now? Will the depression take over like it's known to do.? Or maybe just maybe he will leave me alone... I don't really know. But I do know that I am currently sober and I will stay sober. I'm on day 2 of withdrawals off opiates so of course it could just be me talking out of my ass...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Alamance,NC
Posts: 21
Depression sounds like fear
He ain't shut up in years
I ain't shaved in weeks
My outlook is bleak
Haven't ate I'm days
So my clothes fit baggy
Been in a haze
Nowhere near happy
Gotta control this hunger
Yet I'm starving
So I get angry
& lose everything
Lost in my mind
Nowhere to run...
Nowhere to run
Yet I'm still determined
I'm not a preacher
And this is no sermon
Damn I'm hurting
Hoping it's almost over
With death I'm flirting
Trying to get sober...
So I write to fill the void. Scratched this up as I was typing.
He ain't shut up in years
I ain't shaved in weeks
My outlook is bleak
Haven't ate I'm days
So my clothes fit baggy
Been in a haze
Nowhere near happy
Gotta control this hunger
Yet I'm starving
So I get angry
& lose everything
Lost in my mind
Nowhere to run...
Nowhere to run
Yet I'm still determined
I'm not a preacher
And this is no sermon
Damn I'm hurting
Hoping it's almost over
With death I'm flirting
Trying to get sober...
So I write to fill the void. Scratched this up as I was typing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 36
I'm a little late. Lol. Just saw the link. Thanks. And I agree Michael Angelo. Just haven't had the means for treatment most of my life. I find it hard to believe it would lift in weeks tho but it's possible. I have also posted a couple other poems on here if anybody cares for a read. Monkey off my back and the write again one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Spain
Posts: 92
I'm a little late. Lol. Just saw the link. Thanks. And I agree Michael Angelo. Just haven't had the means for treatment most of my life. I find it hard to believe it would lift in weeks tho but it's possible. I have also posted a couple other poems on here if anybody cares for a read. Monkey off my back and the write again one.
I hear you... But my using was more of a solution to the depression. The depression was there before the substances. The substances made the depression ok to deal with. So now being sober without the substances it's the scary thought of what now? Will the depression take over like it's known to do.? Or maybe just maybe he will leave me alone... I don't really know. But I do know that I am currently sober and I will stay sober. I'm on day 2 of withdrawals off opiates so of course it could just be me talking out of my ass...
My using was self medicating due to depression. When I gave up alcohol 4 months ago , I couldn't understand why I was still so sad , listless etc ...nothing improved
I let this go on for about 3 months until a dear Mod here who i class as a friend now DEE , ( thanks D ) questioned if my exhaustion was depression .
The penny dropped ....i didn't even consider it , yet I have had this same depression alcohol prob for 20 years.
I guarantee you , when you fix your depression , your life will turn around . Without it , you will follow that slippery slope to self medicate.
Go " yesterday " to see your doc .
My life has dramatically improved in every single way due to the advice from someone lovely here who really cares.
I hope we can do the same for you xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 36
Ooooh fresh ...this could be my post , my friend ..seriously.
My using was self medicating due to depression. When I gave up alcohol 4 months ago , I couldn't understand why I was still so sad , listless etc ...nothing improved
I let this go on for about 3 months until a dear Mod here who i class as a friend now DEE , ( thanks D ) questioned if my exhaustion was depression .
The penny dropped ....i didn't even consider it , yet I have had this same depression alcohol prob for 20 years.
I guarantee you , when you fix your depression , your life will turn around . Without it , you will follow that slippery slope to self medicate.
Go " yesterday " to see your doc .
My life has dramatically improved in every single way due to the advice from someone lovely here who really cares.
I hope we can do the same for you xx
My using was self medicating due to depression. When I gave up alcohol 4 months ago , I couldn't understand why I was still so sad , listless etc ...nothing improved
I let this go on for about 3 months until a dear Mod here who i class as a friend now DEE , ( thanks D ) questioned if my exhaustion was depression .
The penny dropped ....i didn't even consider it , yet I have had this same depression alcohol prob for 20 years.
I guarantee you , when you fix your depression , your life will turn around . Without it , you will follow that slippery slope to self medicate.
Go " yesterday " to see your doc .
My life has dramatically improved in every single way due to the advice from someone lovely here who really cares.
I hope we can do the same for you xx
You are very welcome .
I figured well its gonna be expensive ( the medication ) but you know what, i didn't even consider that when I bought my booze . So the money you save on booze will pay for your meds.
Unless you are right mentally , nothing will be right in your life . I just wish i had done it sooner.
You sound pretty smart Fresh , you know what's going on with you . Good luck and stay close xx
I figured well its gonna be expensive ( the medication ) but you know what, i didn't even consider that when I bought my booze . So the money you save on booze will pay for your meds.
Unless you are right mentally , nothing will be right in your life . I just wish i had done it sooner.
You sound pretty smart Fresh , you know what's going on with you . Good luck and stay close xx
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