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Damned if you do, damned if you don't situations

Old 11-09-2013, 01:13 PM
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Damned if you do, damned if you don't situations

Can anyone relate to this??

I've had a trip planned with friends for next weekend for a few months now. It isn't a trip where the main focus will be going out and drinking but drinking will absolutely be involved. Quite a bit actually. I'll only have two weeks under my belt by then and don't feel confident that I'd be able to stay sober. Too many triggers for one situation so early on. So I've canceled my trip.

However, now that I am not going I feel completely isolated and left out (and jealous) and worry that come next weekend I'll feel even worse and will drink. I'm taking my sobriety one day at a time but it is like a dark cloud on the horizon that I'm driving towards. I have a bit of a plan to deal with it but I'm scared it will not be enough.

Has anyone gone through anything similar?
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:21 PM
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Sure, it's a time of transition and I had to make some big changes. Having a plan is a good idea and maybe you can build on the plan so it's more significant. You don't need to sit home and feel isolated if you don't want to.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:22 PM
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sure - missing out on stuff really bugged me initially.
I was really used to doing and getting whatever I wanted.

I told myself to be an adult tho - it was for a greater good tho and that one day I'd be glad I did what I did...and I was.

There's no need for you to be isolated or sit at home and be angry - there's a million things you can do that won't involve alcohol

If you think your plan won't be enough - make it better...nows a great time to start that - by next weekend you could have an awesome strategy in place

D
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:44 PM
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Hi Joshlyman,
I think you are amazing to realize that the trip is not worth giving up on your sobriety. You should be very, very proud of yourself.
Cheesy as it is, one day at a time......... and each day gets the littlest bit better.
When you feel bad, take a few deep breaths and consider how strong you are.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:57 PM
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hey Joshlyman,
you da man for doing the right thing for your sobriety

You can always come have fun with me on the weekend thread supporting and cheering all the successes and supporting and cheering the people who weren't so successful but are working it as best they know how .

There is lots of fun you can have by yourself at home , or you have a whole week to think of something good to do with other people where drinking won't be involved

Changing your lifestyle to a sober one takes a bit of time and effort but i recon it's worth it long term , try not to let a bit of stinkin' thinkin' drag you down

Bestwishes, m
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:56 PM
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Absolutely! Been through it more times than I can count. Think of it as a testament to how much you want to be sober. Think about it, would you have ever canceled the trip before? That is how much remaining sober means to you. Can you find someone to do something with next weekend? A sober friend? If not, meetings are full of sober people.

Are you on the East or West coast?
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Old 11-09-2013, 03:34 PM
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I'm glad you cancelled the trip but there's no reason to stay home and drink over it. You aren't going because you want to stay sober, so stay sober at home.
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Old 11-09-2013, 03:57 PM
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Congrats on realizing personal limitations! The best way to cure the feeling of isolation? Go out and do something else. I learned that finding other things to do, made me in the end have more fun then if i had fallen off, and just hold tight to the pride that you were able to make that decision and stick with it.
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