Damned if you do, damned if you don't situations

Old 11-09-2013, 01:13 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: the coast
Posts: 246
Damned if you do, damned if you don't situations

Can anyone relate to this??

I've had a trip planned with friends for next weekend for a few months now. It isn't a trip where the main focus will be going out and drinking but drinking will absolutely be involved. Quite a bit actually. I'll only have two weeks under my belt by then and don't feel confident that I'd be able to stay sober. Too many triggers for one situation so early on. So I've canceled my trip.

However, now that I am not going I feel completely isolated and left out (and jealous) and worry that come next weekend I'll feel even worse and will drink. I'm taking my sobriety one day at a time but it is like a dark cloud on the horizon that I'm driving towards. I have a bit of a plan to deal with it but I'm scared it will not be enough.

Has anyone gone through anything similar?
joshlyman is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 01:21 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Anna's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 62,140
Sure, it's a time of transition and I had to make some big changes. Having a plan is a good idea and maybe you can build on the plan so it's more significant. You don't need to sit home and feel isolated if you don't want to.
Anna is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 01:22 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 212,797
sure - missing out on stuff really bugged me initially.
I was really used to doing and getting whatever I wanted.

I told myself to be an adult tho - it was for a greater good tho and that one day I'd be glad I did what I did...and I was.

There's no need for you to be isolated or sit at home and be angry - there's a million things you can do that won't involve alcohol

If you think your plan won't be enough - make it better...nows a great time to start that - by next weekend you could have an awesome strategy in place

Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 01:44 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Olive1's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Joshlyman,
I think you are amazing to realize that the trip is not worth giving up on your sobriety. You should be very, very proud of yourself.
Cheesy as it is, one day at a time......... and each day gets the littlest bit better.
When you feel bad, take a few deep breaths and consider how strong you are.
Olive1 is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 01:57 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
That bell or bike person
mecanix's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
hey Joshlyman,
you da man for doing the right thing for your sobriety

You can always come have fun with me on the weekend thread supporting and cheering all the successes and supporting and cheering the people who weren't so successful but are working it as best they know how .

There is lots of fun you can have by yourself at home , or you have a whole week to think of something good to do with other people where drinking won't be involved

Changing your lifestyle to a sober one takes a bit of time and effort but i recon it's worth it long term , try not to let a bit of stinkin' thinkin' drag you down

Bestwishes, m
mecanix is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 02:56 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Leana's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Absolutely! Been through it more times than I can count. Think of it as a testament to how much you want to be sober. Think about it, would you have ever canceled the trip before? That is how much remaining sober means to you. Can you find someone to do something with next weekend? A sober friend? If not, meetings are full of sober people.

Are you on the East or West coast?
Leana is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 03:34 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 100,103
I'm glad you cancelled the trip but there's no reason to stay home and drink over it. You aren't going because you want to stay sober, so stay sober at home.
least is offline  
Old 11-09-2013, 03:57 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Norristown
Posts: 17
Congrats on realizing personal limitations! The best way to cure the feeling of isolation? Go out and do something else. I learned that finding other things to do, made me in the end have more fun then if i had fallen off, and just hold tight to the pride that you were able to make that decision and stick with it.
YoungAndDone is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:55 AM.