New guy here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5
New guy here
Hey everyone, thanks for giving me your time. Never done anything like this, but I guess it's time for something new.
I missed another day of work, woke up this morning and immediately poured my cup of rum. It has gotten so out of control, at the moment I'm giving everything I have to not go to the store and pick up a case. But these shakes are really getting bad, and its only been a couple hours since my last drink. It started a few years back when my father died of a heart attack. I managed it for a long time, but in the last month it has gotten ridiculous. I'm now an abnormal 26 year old who can't get out of bed without a drink. There's no money for any sort of counseling or rehab, and I lost contact with almost everyone I know. Any suggestions for what to do next would be much appreciated. Sorry for the rambling, I just wanted to say hi, and hope to someday maybe help some of you.
I missed another day of work, woke up this morning and immediately poured my cup of rum. It has gotten so out of control, at the moment I'm giving everything I have to not go to the store and pick up a case. But these shakes are really getting bad, and its only been a couple hours since my last drink. It started a few years back when my father died of a heart attack. I managed it for a long time, but in the last month it has gotten ridiculous. I'm now an abnormal 26 year old who can't get out of bed without a drink. There's no money for any sort of counseling or rehab, and I lost contact with almost everyone I know. Any suggestions for what to do next would be much appreciated. Sorry for the rambling, I just wanted to say hi, and hope to someday maybe help some of you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 382
Hey BecometheOcean and welcome!
Please consider going to the doctor, even if you can't afford detox/rehab they may be able to help give you something for the withdrawals, it can be dangerous and they can also keep an eye on your blood pressure etc. Just don't do it on your own.
Please consider going to the doctor, even if you can't afford detox/rehab they may be able to help give you something for the withdrawals, it can be dangerous and they can also keep an eye on your blood pressure etc. Just don't do it on your own.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome BecomeTheOcean 
I really second the suggestion to see a Dr - you sound like you're doing it pretty tough?
After that - there's lot of help and support here, and a lot of different approaches being used too - read around and post as much as you like
D
I really second the suggestion to see a Dr - you sound like you're doing it pretty tough?
After that - there's lot of help and support here, and a lot of different approaches being used too - read around and post as much as you like
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
I've been in your shoes. Needing that morning drink, then drinking all day. Repeat.
I don't need to tell you what a miserable life this is.
I agree with seeing a doctor. Be brutaly honest, they've heard it all before and can help.
Remember how you feel now next time you want that first drink and where it'll lead. This helps keep me sober.
And yes, AA is free and always glad to welcome newcomers. It can be scary, but so can the life you're living now.
Best to you.
I've been in your shoes. Needing that morning drink, then drinking all day. Repeat.
I don't need to tell you what a miserable life this is.
I agree with seeing a doctor. Be brutaly honest, they've heard it all before and can help.
Remember how you feel now next time you want that first drink and where it'll lead. This helps keep me sober.
And yes, AA is free and always glad to welcome newcomers. It can be scary, but so can the life you're living now.
Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5
Thanks for the kind words. I caved and grabbed a 6 pack to curb the withdrawals. Most likely I will see a doctor ASAP and hopefully start attending AA.
It is tough to be honest with yourself, and admit you are an alcoholic. It's all about a complete lifestyle change, not just quitting drinking. I think that's the hardest part.
Goodnight to all.
It is tough to be honest with yourself, and admit you are an alcoholic. It's all about a complete lifestyle change, not just quitting drinking. I think that's the hardest part.
Goodnight to all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 318
Originally Posted by BecometheOcean 
Thanks for the kind words. I caved and grabbed a 6 pack to curb the withdrawals. Most likely I will see a doctor ASAP and hopefully start attending AA.
It is tough to be honest with yourself, and admit you are an alcoholic. It's all about a complete lifestyle change, not just quitting drinking. I think that's the hardest part.
Goodnight to all.
It is tough to be honest with yourself, and admit you are an alcoholic. It's all about a complete lifestyle change, not just quitting drinking. I think that's the hardest part.
Goodnight to all.
Please DO NOT let money be a deterrent for you to get help!!! I worked at a rehab (yes yes yes, ironically enough) and it was MY JOB to get referrals, work with insurance, other organizations, non profits, etc.. etc.. on and on ALL DAY so please reach out to me for help if you feel you need a residential facility.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Welcome, I'm glad you're here but also worried about you. Please follow through and see a doctor, I think your alcohol use is past the point of being able to quit without medical intervention. Please check go! (to the doctor and AA)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5
It has now almost been 3 hours since my last drink, I am shaking uncontrollably and starting to hallucinate. My fear is that DT's may be hitting soon, but it may just be anxiety. My understanding is that even in very severe alcoholics, DT wouldn't begin this soon. Alcohol cannot be bought for another 5 hours where I live, so it looks like a long night ahead. I feel quite embarrassed reaching out to you guys, but I'm not sure if medical attention should be seeked before morning. I'm sure some have you have gone through this before. Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5
Well, against your better advice I did not go to the hospital. I had a friend bring me some drinks. Man, my 'friends' are so clueless. Anyway, it's sad for me to say I have a 2 year old son that I fully support, he and his mother depend solely on my income to live. She left me because she got tired of my alcoholism. Understandably so, but it has only made me drink more. I still love them both and like I said before, cannot afford on their behalf to stop drinking and seek treatment. It's not an option anyway, I gave her my car because I don't want my little guy stuck in the house all day. There is a lot of guilt, why did I let it get this bad? Why cant I be a real father, why couldn't I be a real boyfriend? But I guess the way out is through. Thanks for reading through my ramblings again, and a special thanks to Dee. I can see by your amount of posts that you've helped countless individuals like myself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
There are options outside of rehab, free options even.
If you require medical assistance. there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
2-1-1 Call Center Search
There's many meeting based approaches and methods of recovery around that offer face to face support too - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
In my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking....
choose that option? and the only change there is that things will get worse BTO.
Thats a guarantee.
You might end up somewhere that makes this past year look like a picnic.
D
If you require medical assistance. there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
The 10377 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance.
2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more. Learn more about your local 2-1-1 by looking it up here.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.
In my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking....
choose that option? and the only change there is that things will get worse BTO.
Thats a guarantee.
You might end up somewhere that makes this past year look like a picnic.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Sounds like you are suffering a lot, but you have to really want to stop drinking for it to succeed.
How much longer do you think you will be making it to work as the disease progresses?
You list many reasons why you "can't stop" but I have to tell you that I was in your shoes and it was getting to the point of where it was affecting my work and my ability to take care of my family. That stopped me in my tracks.
It was tough to quit, I had a rough detox, and I had to learn to live as a sober adult on a daily basis which took some hard work. But it was very much worth it, and the quality of my life is 1000 percent better than it was.
I hope that you look down the road of your future and make a wise choice.
It sounds like you are getting to a crossroads too. I wish you the best.
How much longer do you think you will be making it to work as the disease progresses?
You list many reasons why you "can't stop" but I have to tell you that I was in your shoes and it was getting to the point of where it was affecting my work and my ability to take care of my family. That stopped me in my tracks.
It was tough to quit, I had a rough detox, and I had to learn to live as a sober adult on a daily basis which took some hard work. But it was very much worth it, and the quality of my life is 1000 percent better than it was.
I hope that you look down the road of your future and make a wise choice.
It sounds like you are getting to a crossroads too. I wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5
Thanks for all the responses. I feel like a dick, posting on a recovery website while im 10 miles high. It was kinda my last resort. Saturday night, I didn't drink. Felt positive about myself and my future. Come Sunday night, I found out my sons mother is dating someone else. She lied to me so much, beat me up and destroyed all of my friendships.
Her and I lasted about 5 years. I treated her like ****. I realized my mistakes too late. Now, I sit here self medicating staring blankly at the floor. I lost my job, my apartment, my love, my son, my father, what's next? I don't want to bring you guys down. But it is th reality. I ****** it all away. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I let it all slip away. Don't let if slip away. Give it all you got. Pour yourself to the rim with love, let it spill over and drown everyone with happiness. Don't give your love and life away like I have. I feel like..there is no other way out than death. Thanks for your time. Love you all
Her and I lasted about 5 years. I treated her like ****. I realized my mistakes too late. Now, I sit here self medicating staring blankly at the floor. I lost my job, my apartment, my love, my son, my father, what's next? I don't want to bring you guys down. But it is th reality. I ****** it all away. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I let it all slip away. Don't let if slip away. Give it all you got. Pour yourself to the rim with love, let it spill over and drown everyone with happiness. Don't give your love and life away like I have. I feel like..there is no other way out than death. Thanks for your time. Love you all
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
It's really not a good idea to make life or death decisions while drinking.
The way you feel today is not the way you will always feel.
Things will not always seem this black.
There is always another option.
I know because I've been there too
If you need help urgently you can always call 911.
There's also a lot of crisislines and good reading here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
You have people in your life who love you.
your son needs his dad.
get some help, reach out, and get through this BTO
D
The way you feel today is not the way you will always feel.
Things will not always seem this black.
There is always another option.
I know because I've been there too
If you need help urgently you can always call 911.
There's also a lot of crisislines and good reading here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
You have people in your life who love you.
your son needs his dad.
get some help, reach out, and get through this BTO
D
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