Hawkeye13

I think you judge yourself harshly. You are a human being doing the best you can, and you had some tough things to overcome on the way. You are working on this with quite a bit of success lately. I think for me I had to learn to forgive and love myself in small stages before I could attract others into my life. I felt strong and independent with booze too for awhile, but all it did was undermine me becoming me for years.

I know the feeling of being a stranger to yourself. But try treating that stranger with kindness and compassion and you might be surprised how likeable that person really is.

foolsgold66

Make friends with some of those 'old people' at your AA meetings that you think are unsuitable for such. Go for coffee or a meal with afterward. You have more in common with them than you think. I enjoyed spending time with some of my grandparents when I was younger, think of it that way if it helps...

You can't afford to be picky at this point.