EndTheFed

I haven't socialized much at all since quitting. Today I went out to lunch with my drinking buddy. It's the first time I've seen him since I quit. He doesn't even know that I quit and I didn't bring it up.

He had a beer with lunch and was trying to convince me to get a giant margarita. We were at a fancy mexican place that apparently is known for the margaritas. I said nope, and he pressured me a few more times. I just kept saying nope and eventually he dropped it and we had a really nice lunch. We had lots to talk about and had a good time, and I feel great still sober. If it was another time I would have had that margarita at 1:00 PM, and then continued to drink the rest of the day and felt terrible by 6PM.


I actually haven't told anyone I quit. I'm not sure why... I guess I don't want to admit to people that I think my problem was severe enough to warrant quitting. It's working for now though, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the weekend sober. Getting a lot done and feeling good.

DoubleDragons

I am having a hard time telling people, too, End. Everyone in my life is a drinker and some of them probably have bigger drinking problems than I do. I think they would personalize it and feel judged, if I said I quit. (sadly, I know I felt that way when my cousin went to rehab and quit a few years ago) Also, I am still sorting out how I feel about my sobriety, how I envision my life continuing, etc. I don't think I could really talk intelligibly about it yet.

Anyway, happy that lunch went well for you!!

EndTheFed

Well said, that's also the way I feel.

advbike

I used to not tell people when I quit. That way no explanations were required if I was drinking the next time I saw them. Basically I was hedging my bets, and wasn't committed. This time around I just put it out there and every time I do it I realize I've taken away another barrier to my sobriety.

Uninvited

I think it's also easier to go back to drinking again if you didn't tell anybody you stopped. Which is sort of where I am so I'm pointing the finger at me too.

Johnston

I told my friends I had stopped. The real ones stayed in touch.

MidnightBlue

Good job, End.

IMHO there are ways to tell people that you don't drink without emphasizing you had a problem. None of my friends knew I had it, so I just tell: "I feel much better without it". Which is completely true.

Best wishes to you, keep it up.

ejackson

EndTheFed--out to lunch with an old drinking buddy at a restaurant known for margaritas, and you didn't drink. You should be so proud! It's great you could focus on catching up with your friend, rather than drinking. What a nice trade-off.

I'm only on Day 4, but know I'll have to face similar circumstances in these early stages of unease with being a "nondrinker." I've come up with a few excuses to tell friends and acquaintances who ask why I'm not drinking:

1. "I'm taking an antibiotic for a nasty ear infection and my doctor said I can't drink while on the prescription."

2. "I'm doing a pre-holiday cleanse to lose weight before the holidays. Yeah, no wine! Can you believe it? I also can't have sugar, wheat... etc." This doesn't make it seem like alcohol is the only thing I'm giving up.

3. "I'm pacing myself, but I'll catch up with you soon!" Most people only notice once that you're not drinking. They'll never check back to see if you've caught up with them.

4. "No, thanks... I drank too much last night."

least

I just say "no thanks".

Mentium

Seems a bizarre (if perfectly understandable) situation where people are nervous to admit that they don't want a glass of poison with their meal because they have decided not to poison themselves any more.

ejackson

Alcohol isn't a poison for everyone. For those who can drink moderately and responsibly, the addiction is difficult to comprehend. For those of us who cannot, it can take a while to wrap our minds around our addiction. Making up some excuses to re-direct attention isn't bizarre, but a way to cope with common social situations until we reach a point at which we are comfortable addressing them otherwise.