Only Just Realised...
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
You can walk out of the pub anytime you choose to and not drink again.
I have just read this whole thread and your unhappiness about your drinking is obvious.
If you are an Alcoholic you will get worse,not better.
I wish you well and hope you decide today to give sobriety a go.
I have just read this whole thread and your unhappiness about your drinking is obvious.
If you are an Alcoholic you will get worse,not better.
I wish you well and hope you decide today to give sobriety a go.
Last edited by heath480; 11-28-2013 at 03:04 AM. Reason: Spelling,
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by INeverKnew 
I've been lurking in this forum for awhile reading other people's stories but haven't gotten around to joining.
I have only recently realised I am an alcoholic. I am sat in Wetherspoons pub, on my second pint. I would often read about people drinking for the buzz - I don't do that. I drink to get drunk. To block out life. I never realised that this is essentially the same thing.
I don't drink massive amounts all the time - once or twice a month. But when I do drink, I will drink until I'm either very drunk or run out of money. Usually the latter. I don't often drink with my wife or anyone else - mainly because I don't want to have "just one". I want to drink and drink - and I only like to do this alone. It's strange but I will only drink massive amounts when alone.
I'm not ready to stop drinking yet but I wanted to share this and hope that people might understand. I don't know if they will.
OJ
I have only recently realised I am an alcoholic. I am sat in Wetherspoons pub, on my second pint. I would often read about people drinking for the buzz - I don't do that. I drink to get drunk. To block out life. I never realised that this is essentially the same thing.
I don't drink massive amounts all the time - once or twice a month. But when I do drink, I will drink until I'm either very drunk or run out of money. Usually the latter. I don't often drink with my wife or anyone else - mainly because I don't want to have "just one". I want to drink and drink - and I only like to do this alone. It's strange but I will only drink massive amounts when alone.
I'm not ready to stop drinking yet but I wanted to share this and hope that people might understand. I don't know if they will.
OJ
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 8
Thank you both for your kind words.
I don't want to seem like a total ass; and I know I sound like a hypocrite. I want to continue drinking - feel that buzz that blocks the **** out and...not feel like terrible afterwards. My wife and I joke that I couldn't afford to be an alcoholic - and it's funny. She's right, we're always skint. But when we have some money spare, all I want to do with my share, is drink it all away. I need to change my mindset.
I don't want to seem like a total ass; and I know I sound like a hypocrite. I want to continue drinking - feel that buzz that blocks the **** out and...not feel like terrible afterwards. My wife and I joke that I couldn't afford to be an alcoholic - and it's funny. She's right, we're always skint. But when we have some money spare, all I want to do with my share, is drink it all away. I need to change my mindset.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
If you'd asked most of us before we stopped, "do you want to keep drinking?" most and definitly I would have said yes.
The reason being I was afraid of what life would be like without the buzz, being completley aware and sober 24hrs a day scarred the life out of me, and to be honest it still does, though the benifits when I weighed them up in my head seemed to be greater, so with that same leap of faith many of us had to make I had to step into the unknown and somehow face that fear . . . don't get me wrong though it's not easy.
The reason being I was afraid of what life would be like without the buzz, being completley aware and sober 24hrs a day scarred the life out of me, and to be honest it still does, though the benifits when I weighed them up in my head seemed to be greater, so with that same leap of faith many of us had to make I had to step into the unknown and somehow face that fear . . . don't get me wrong though it's not easy.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
INeverKnew, 
We completely understand! I was a weekend binge drinker, was able to stay sober, for the most part, from Sunday through Thursday. Come Friday give me a beer and don't get your fingers anywhere near my face.
It's not the amount nor the frequency, it's all about how it affects you and how you drink when you drink.
This is a great board with a lot of support. You say that you aren't ready to quit yet. What's holding you back?
We completely understand! I was a weekend binge drinker, was able to stay sober, for the most part, from Sunday through Thursday. Come Friday give me a beer and don't get your fingers anywhere near my face.
It's not the amount nor the frequency, it's all about how it affects you and how you drink when you drink.
This is a great board with a lot of support. You say that you aren't ready to quit yet. What's holding you back?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
I just want to say that I know what it feels like to try and face the world without alcohol and (another big addiction for me!) nicotine. But I can and am doing it! Life has been better and will be better, but I have gone 10 months completely sober and nothing bad has happened.
Please don't get to the stage that I got to before you finally quit - you have the chance to do it now before you sink any further.
Please don't get to the stage that I got to before you finally quit - you have the chance to do it now before you sink any further.
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