Thought I knew
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11
Thought I knew
I'm here because very recently I have realized that I didn't really know what addiction was! I thought I knew, I've certainly felt the pull of drugs and alcohol, seen it affect my husband, my brothers and a lot of my friends. I've been using for 14 years now (WOW) and I really only now see that I am an addict. Not because I use amphetamines, not because I drink, not because I like pot, not because I overeat but because I DO ALL THESE THINGS.
I've also gained a real understanding of the word denial. Again, I thought I knew what it meant, I can see it in others but I now get that the fact that I look at addicts stories on the internet and feel so badly for them and get shocked with the positions they have found themselves in. This is my denial...I may not end up homeless or prostituting but I do have a ROCK BOTTOM. I've been in denial of my bottom because it's not as bad as others??
I'm not frightened of stopping anymore, recently I've had interval of being clean. I actually feel like alcohol is my biggest prob, especially lately.
I've never really had to consider not drinking because gear always seemed worse...
I really don't even know what to expect from writing this...I guess we will see
I've also gained a real understanding of the word denial. Again, I thought I knew what it meant, I can see it in others but I now get that the fact that I look at addicts stories on the internet and feel so badly for them and get shocked with the positions they have found themselves in. This is my denial...I may not end up homeless or prostituting but I do have a ROCK BOTTOM. I've been in denial of my bottom because it's not as bad as others??
I'm not frightened of stopping anymore, recently I've had interval of being clean. I actually feel like alcohol is my biggest prob, especially lately.
I've never really had to consider not drinking because gear always seemed worse...
I really don't even know what to expect from writing this...I guess we will see
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