83mama0f2

I haven't told my in laws that I quit drinking. we're going to their house this weekend and I'm not sure I'm ready to tell them. What should I say? I'm on a detox or a diet or something? Every time were over there alcohol is involved. Sometimes I feel like alcohol is the only way for me to tolerate some of them!! :/ doesn't matter the time of day.. Morning is mimosas, afternoon is cocktails by the pool and evening is wine or mixers. We're celebrating my brother in laws birthday, so I can't just skip it.

DoubleDragons

I understand your struggle. We are going to be away with my parents this weekend and I just don't want to even go near the drinking issue with my parents because they are in complete denial about my mother's drinking problem. I think I am going to say that my ulcers have really been hurting me, so I am taking some time off from drinking. I know this isn't really helpful, just letting you know that I feel your pain!

SweatyHands

Well, short of just telling them, I do have one suggestion. Tell them you're just starting to get over a bad case of diarrhea and you can't drink. From the age that I learned what an excuse was, that has been my ace. It covers a huge spectrum of activities that you can't do, everyone has experienced it and can sympathize, and most importantly, you will never be asked to produce proof. It's immature and irresponsible to fake an illness to get out of unwanted situations, therefore when I decide to do it I need an airtight alibi. This is mostly just comic relief, but really though, it works. That is my two cents and some days two cents is all I have.

Marcher13

83Mama what you say is up to you, I used to say that I wasn't drinking for health reasons which was true, now I say "I don't drink" which is true.

Is going to your in-laws the best thing for your sobriety at the moment? If I recall correctly you have some unresolved difficulties with your m-i-l. A b-i-l's birthday doesn't require your presence as a wedding might, could your husband take the children and you have a day to yourself?

Nuudawn

In my first week of sobriety ..well, I was pretty shaky and nowhere near strong enough to open up my decision for discussion. I had to attend a work function where I knew everybody would be drinking and certainly be shocked that I wasn't. I used the old "antibiotics" ruse. People don't ask too much about that as in why you're on them (could be scary women's issue or something..lol). I did get a couple "well, one ain't gonna hurt". I stood by my ruse and said "ya, it might and I ain't taking chances"...I believe I even joked...what's the point of one anyway? (these folks new I liked to drink).

As Marcher says "health reasons or issues" would work too..and isn't a lie. If someone pushes ..just say.."oh it's nothing, I'm fine but I don't want to get into it right now ok". Say no more after that...you've stated your boundary and anything beyond that is well...rude on their part.

83mama0f2

No unresolved issues with my MIL, must be thinking of someone else. My BIL is a jerk. My hubs always comes to my family functions even though he and my family butt heads on occasion, and he would be hurt if I didn't come. I do enjoy hanging out with my MIL and FIL, and we haven't seen them in awhile. I'm not really worried about relapsing because I've not drank around them before and they never make a big deal about it. I usually just say, nah I'm good for now when offered. I usually play with all the kids and try and stay away from my BIL and SIL. lol. just trying to figure out if I should say anything or nothing lol.

pattyj

Just tell them you're not feeling it this time, since you have not drank around them before it shouldn't be a big deal. Then, if you decide later to go into details you can.

Bebetter

I went to my in-laws a few weeks after quitting drinking, and I have to say, the not drinking part was easy (they are like your inlaws - booze all day - beer with lunch, cocktail hour, wine, after-dinner drinks), but I was pissed that I had to field the question "Are you pregnant?" from my father-in-law. Seriously? What a rude question... if I WERE pregnant, don't I get to choose the time to reveal that info? And if I'm not, well... I just found it pointed, but he was a few drinks in at the time, so I'm sure he wasn't thinking straight. I responded with "No. I drank too much in June and I'm done with it." What made it worse was when my mother-in-law came in the room, he announced "Well, she's not pregnant! Just decided not to drink!" Mortifying... My mother-in-law doesn't drink (health problems), and was just like "ummm..." because she could care less, and actually, is probably quite happy I'm not drinking.

They are coming this weekend to visit and I'm already cringing at the stupid comments that may come my way.

I find that people who drink too much ask the worst questions and don't let it lie. They need you to drink so they don't look as bad. People who drink normal amounts are cool with whatever you want to do.

least

I'd just say you've given up drinking for health reasons and leave it at that. If they press you on it just repeat it until they leave you alone.

83mama0f2

Went absolutely fine tonight. Everyone was having drinks but of course drinking normally. I barely noticed it and my MIL offered me a drink and I said, that I'm fine right now. She never asked again and no one even noticed. I barely thought about drinking the while time. Yay!