RJY9

I have made it 24 hours and I have very mixed emotions right now and almost stopped at the shop for beers but I didn't so that's something im proud of today. I have been thinking long and hard and realise its time to grow up and take responsibility for my future. I have a family who need me to be sober. What I shall do this time is use my most recent relapse experience as a good thing (although it was the worst thing ever getting arrested) that has taught me once again that drinking will ALWAYS lead me to some kind of trouble, whether it will be a silly argument or getting locked up in jail. I cant afford for this kinda behaviour to happen again and I wont be listen to the AV this time and I think I will actually achieve greatness this time as I feel I hit rock bottom when I was in that cell and I cant let the devil get to me anymore. I'm committed now and am done with caring about what other people think about me. I spend a hell of a lot of time worrying about what others think about me and I have scared off so many people as a result of my drinking I can actually see a noticeable dent in my list of friends. Although these are people who cant forgive and hold grudges for stupid drunken arguments or fights etc and my real pals are all still standing by me even though I have treated some of them like shi*. My family is the only focus I need and I have neglected them by worrying about insignificant people and things that may or may not happen. Its stupid and im gonna grow up.

lorelei

day 1 =

good to hear you want sobriety so much, keep fighting x

RJY9

U bet I want sobriety! I just hate drinking and all it stands for. Its a nasty drug that destroys everything.

lorelei

keep that firmly in your mind, how much it destroys....you will do this RJ x

Mizzuno

Good for you RJ. Not stopping off at the store is wonderful news. One day at a time.

Ghostlight1

One day is better than none. It took me many attempts to quit , including hitting bottom many times.
If you put the effort you do into staying sober as you do drinking you can't go wrong.
Remember, it's not the last drink that matters, it's the first. If you don't take that first drink you won't get drunk.

I feel for you because I've been in your shoes. Two years nine months later I've been sober. And life, with all it's ups and downs, is now manageable.

Best to you and never give up.

gatorgirl67

I'm here with you RJ, DAY 1...we can do this!!

Nuudawn

Glad to read this RJ. I know I sent you a pretty p*ssy message after you relapsed and said your goodbyes here. I was so frustrated because I just didn't want to see you return to that world. I probably should have waited until I wasn't quite so emotional cuz it probably lacked the love and acceptance it should have. But do know...it was in fact because I did care. Nevertheless, I'm sorry if it was harsh : ) I took a little break from here after that because I know I was getting far too edgy.

Stay fighting my friend.

HeadLump

Go for it, RJ! It is so hard to get back on after falling off, but it shows real strength of character

Sounds to me like you're gonna be a winner!

afloatsober

Well done.
Keep trying.
But don't leave it too late.
There is no happy ending for an alcoholic that keeps drinking.
Can i suggest that ALL of your focus now needs to be on your recovery (plan).
Mine now comes before family, loved ones, friends, career, money etc.....
I was told that anything that i put before my recovery i stood to loose.
I did lose all, sadly they spoke the truth.
Today, this 24 hours, my sobriety is my priority
Get well friend.
G

RJY9

Hi nuudawn. Thanks for this post. I was actually going to apologise to you as my reply to that message was a bit harsh too. U caught me at a very bad time and I was in the alcohol zone so there was no talking to me. You don't need to apologise for caring. I expect nothing less from you nuudawn as its people like yourself that are going to save me. Everyone on SR is truly amazing and I find just typing these words to be a massive help with stress also. Its almost like, when you type it and read it back to yourself it soothes the pain. Strange I know but that's what it feels like for me. Don't feel bad for trying to make a difference nuudawn. Your message was amazing and spoke real truth. Many thanks nuudawn.

Nuudawn

You are saving yourself my friend : ) We are all just here to support, high 5 ya or give ya a kick in the arse if necessary. Although the latter is the most difficult one to do with tact and love cuz we're all different severities of emotional hillbillies : )

ClearLight

That's one small step for a man and...

WritingHelps

Good to have you back. I'm newly back at it again myself and its so frustrating to start over, but all we can do is keep working on ourselves. Good luck. It sounds like you have some good support and a strong mindset so you are on a great track already.

Serenity1972

Welcome back RJ. I am glad you came back and posted about your situation. Things can only get better from here. Stay with us. I am glad you are back on the sober track. Alcohol only destroys us. It sounds like you really want sobriety this time around and you seem committed. I can hear it in your post. It is a huge 1st step, but you can do it.

Dee74

good to see you back RJY

D

wakko

Great to see you back. What is your plan to stay sober? My experience has shown me that pain and will power were not enough to keep me sober.