wardo247

I drank yesterday and starting over at day 1 of sobriety... I am sad. I want to drink so bad right now so as not to withdrawl. I feel terrible, I am frustrated with myself. I am so blessed to have a supportive network of people, but I keep crapping on them. Why cant I stop drinking? I feel like a failure, but I have hope

marshy13

Hi wardo247,

Your back now and that's what's important

Have you been to an AA meeting? Or spoken to anyone?

stephnc

Welcome, Wardo, and please stop beating yourself up. Why can't you stop drinking? Probably for the same reason that I - and plenty of other people like you and me - can't stop drinking...we're alcoholics. But it is possible to stop...I've been sober for many months now. It took a lot of tries and failures and false starts to get to where I am today, but it can be done.

For now, you're still feeling the physical and emotional effects of alcohol so be gentle with yourself. Drink lots of water, get plenty of rest, and hang around this site as much as you want to - it's a tremendous help. Hugs.

wardo247

I have in and out of the AA rooms for years... I know the Big Book forwards and backwards, but I don't get "it"... WTF!!!!

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back here and starting anew Wardo. Do you have any kind of a plan ( AA, AVRT, SR, counseling, etc ) to stay sober? If not I'd water that's the main reason why you can't stay stopped. Hope is great but it doesn't really help if you don't have action and a solid plan alongside it.

What's your plan for today?

wardo247

my plan for today is to not drink. I need to handcuff myself to my sig. other and not sneek off to grab a pint of vodka. my life is unmanageable... I thought I got step 1, but treatment, jails and feeling alone has not worked... my body is craving booze right now, but my head is knowing how bad that will suck...

least

to SR! You drink because you're an alcoholic - that's what we do even knowing the consequences. You've come to a good place for support tho. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.

stephnc

It sounds like AA might not be right for you...it definitely wasn't for me. I know a lot of people swear by it, but after almost four years of constant meetings, doing 'steps', working with sponsors, and also learning the Big Book forwards and backwards, I realized that the AA approach was more counterproductive to me than it was helpful. I decided to leave AA almost two years ago...ended up drinking a lot (again) and then going to rehab...and while I was in rehab, I started meditating (something I'd tried to do on and off prior to rehab).

When my rehab roommate requested a Bible from the Chaplain, I asked him if he had any Buddhist literature he could give me - and he brought me a ton, mostly focusing on the Buddhist approach to recovery. When I left rehab, I started attending open meditation evenings at a local Buddhist center - and that's pretty much been the extent of my 'program' ever since.

ETA I've been sober longer now since leaving AA than I ever was while I was in it. And again, I know some people really find it helpful - I just didn't. There are other ways to achieve sobriety, they just take a little more work to find.

Dee74

Try not to beat yourself up too much wardo247 - whats done is done

I'm with everyone else here tho - deciding not to drink today is a great start but you might want to think a little more deeply for the long term?

Think about why you drank again and the factors involved...what would help that in future? do you need more support? do you need to make more changes to your life?

D