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Join Date: Sep 2013
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New Here
I am new to the forum, so i'm just introducing myself i guess, though i've been skulking around here for a few weeks. I'm not exactly sure where to post this, so I'll post here and in the methadone category.
Just finished my methadone maintenance program after 10 years, so I'm kind of an expert haha. my program was consecutive, though i was a client at quite a few places and states, due to moving for my job. for me, this is when i was ready. i did it SLOWLY over months (some jumps lasted a year or more). i used to try to describe what being dope sick felt like - b/c of course i felt it even on the clinic when there were days - very few about 5, that time constraints caused me to miss a dose, or if i was sick with a stomach virus and threw up my dose - and my description was always that it was aiken to a flower which hasn't been watered, suddenly getting water. The way you see a flower perk up. After being on for such an extended period, the methadone was just a part of my life. Now, coming down i started to see my OLD self coming back, and i mean in a positive way. The person who paid her bills, had a A1 credit score, bought her own car at 18, had one year left in college before she had to drop out. I had thought i'd lost that person forever. I was "high functioning" back then, and methadone saved my life, of that i have no doubts, and i was a better girlfriend, daughter, sister, worker for it, so programming made me stronger. Coming off, Now i describe the feeling of coming off as a steel rod being placed back into my body. Like something returned, instead of something needed. I'm feeling me again.
Anyway, today is my 4th day without methadone. My last drop was from 3 mg to 0, and yes i feel it physically, but when i compare it to true dope sickness, it's nothing. it's still annoying, but i look forward to my body taking over again, rather than me taking over my body.I think back to the day and clinic at which i started, and at that time i never thought i'd ever be off the program. After 2 years and at my second clinic (i transferred) i started to believe i could finish some day. Now that time has come and so here i sit within this forum. I really haven't spoken to anyone, except in a chat, which was chatting. Being here though, makes me feel stronger.
Just finished my methadone maintenance program after 10 years, so I'm kind of an expert haha. my program was consecutive, though i was a client at quite a few places and states, due to moving for my job. for me, this is when i was ready. i did it SLOWLY over months (some jumps lasted a year or more). i used to try to describe what being dope sick felt like - b/c of course i felt it even on the clinic when there were days - very few about 5, that time constraints caused me to miss a dose, or if i was sick with a stomach virus and threw up my dose - and my description was always that it was aiken to a flower which hasn't been watered, suddenly getting water. The way you see a flower perk up. After being on for such an extended period, the methadone was just a part of my life. Now, coming down i started to see my OLD self coming back, and i mean in a positive way. The person who paid her bills, had a A1 credit score, bought her own car at 18, had one year left in college before she had to drop out. I had thought i'd lost that person forever. I was "high functioning" back then, and methadone saved my life, of that i have no doubts, and i was a better girlfriend, daughter, sister, worker for it, so programming made me stronger. Coming off, Now i describe the feeling of coming off as a steel rod being placed back into my body. Like something returned, instead of something needed. I'm feeling me again.
Anyway, today is my 4th day without methadone. My last drop was from 3 mg to 0, and yes i feel it physically, but when i compare it to true dope sickness, it's nothing. it's still annoying, but i look forward to my body taking over again, rather than me taking over my body.I think back to the day and clinic at which i started, and at that time i never thought i'd ever be off the program. After 2 years and at my second clinic (i transferred) i started to believe i could finish some day. Now that time has come and so here i sit within this forum. I really haven't spoken to anyone, except in a chat, which was chatting. Being here though, makes me feel stronger.
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