Louise82

I haven't posted here for a few days. Still sober (75 days) but really shaken up by something that just happened in the street.

My mum recently dumped her most recent boyfriend because of his drinking. I saw him in the street soon after this happened and he shook hands with me but squeezed my hand really tightly before letting go. I know I'm probably overreacting but I found this really creepy, probably because since I stopped drinking, my feelings are just in my face all the time, including the sexual trauma I still experience as a result of being sexually abused when I was a child.

So anyway, I saw him again today and he offered his hand. I just froze. I just really couldn't bring myself to shake hands with him. He shouted at me really aggressively and then stormed off. It's really shaken me up. I'm feeling like I'm slightly in shock. I'm scared. I'm home now but don't know if I'll be too scared to leave my house when I want to go out later. Why is this guy still rolling around my neighbourhood when my mum dumped him weeks ago? (I live in the same neighbourhood as my mum but not with her.)

I think the problem is that back when I was drinking and before I worked the AA steps, I just pretended not be affected by stuff like this. I just drank on it. And now here I am having to deal with it and I'm just taken aback by how scared and vulnerable I am. Don't get me wrong. I'm so grateful to be sober. I know that drinking to suppress my feelings would be so much worse. I'm not going to drink.

I just called my sponsor and we talked it through so I feel a bit better than I did. I just wanted to vent here too, I guess.

SkyeSea

Hi. My guess would be, he's still angry with your mum and trying to annoy her through you I'd just ignore the creep, but report him to the police, if the abusive language continues.
What a creep he sounds!

ronnie3

by what i read he's just a screw up who's trying to get to your mom by scaring you, so my advise just try to be intimidating cuz that what really helped me (i didn't grow up in the best neighborhood) and if anything happens just call the cops and you'll be just fine.

firstymer

I am sorry this happened to you, Louise. What he did was creepy and mean. He is a bully. Try not to let his problems and shortcomings affect you. You didn't do anything wrong.You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this guy had run into someone else other than you, he would probably have been creepy and mean to that person instead of to you. Know that, and hopefully you will be able to push this incident away.

least

If he continues to scare you, and be aggressive to you, call the police. He sounds like a real creep.

hayley86

Sorry to hear that this happened Louise. It is disgraceful that he was aggressive and shouted at you. Try and not let his actions affect you leaving your house later on. Chances are he will clear off if he doesn't get a reaction from you. If he does try anything then maybe report it. It sounds like you handled the situation right with calling your sponsor and talking it through. Congrats on 75 days sober!.

Louise82

Thanks guys. I did manage to leave the house again to go to the shops and have just got back. I felt a bit shaky and on edge but at least I got it out of the way and it'll be easier next time.

trikyriky

Hello friend

Sounds like your mum made a good choice more importantly , your safety

Maybe get yourself protection , a can of mace , a whistle .

Truly , Tr

NewLifeAt60

For years I thought my problems would go away if I stopped drinking. Now over 15 months later, I realize they were one of many reasons I drank. They are still here but, as you already noticed for yourself, I can deal with them and even eliminate them by facing them instead of running away by drinking. Keep on working past the scary emotions and in time your faith will defeat them.

EndGameNYC

Yup. He's stalking you, SkyeSea. You need to be very careful around all this. None of us knows what an active alcoholic is capable of.

I mean, whose mother's BF shakes the daughter's hand? Anywhere? The tight grip is a warning. You don't know what he's capable of doing.