Nightswimming

So it's Day 16 of being sober for me. Still fighting the voice inside my head which tells me 'soon you'll be fine to have a glass of wine because you'll be able to control it'. Trying to keep reminding myself of the 10+ years of evidence that says otherwise!

Anyway I was out earlier in the week with a friend who has been really good to me over the years. She has generally been the one to keep in touch with me. We went for dinner and to the cinema and she drove so that made it even easier to order a ginger beer with dinner instead of a large glass of wine. I realised how much I enjoy her company and how much I had let that side of things go when drinking. Nights out were never about the company, they always became about getting that next drink and panicing that my friend(s) were going to be 'boring' and decide to go home and I wouldn't be able to drink any more. It's made me a bit sad on how much I've probably missed out on over the last few years by only prioritising the 'friend' that was always there with me until I passed out.....

TexasMichael

Welcome to SR Nightswimming!

Congratulations on Day 16.

It took me 40+ years to convince myself that moderation never works for very long.

I used to plan my evenings around which friends could drive so I would not be driving drunk (ended up driving anyway on far too many occasions). So many things I regret.

But it's so good waking up sober and having a cup of tea to start the day. My true friends respect my decision not to drink.

Glad you found SR!

hayley86

Congratulations on 16 days sober...that's great!. I also felt like this when i first quit drinking and everything was very raw. With time i managed to let go of feeling regretful about things in the past that i cant change. I ruined many events and special times with being drunk but i cant do anything about that now. I work on making amends for those times by being sober today. Keep moving forward and focusing on the future and your recovery. Think of all the great sober times you can have with friends now. You can make great new memories. Its never too late to make positive changes.

Nightswimming

Thanks for the welcome Michael. Reading people's stories and the support on SR is definitely helping. I'm starting to enjoy spending an extra couple of hours in bed in the morning through choice and not because I'm forced to because of a hangover!

Hayley, thanks for the advice. I'm trying to start small with things like replying to texts and not leaving them sitting in my inbox for 3 days at a time. Baby steps!

PippoRossi

Congrats on 16 days, Nightswimming! I see you are already experiencing some mental clarity from being sober. It gets better each day, so keep up the good work!

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on your 16 days.

I can so relate to this as used to plan things with people who would drink and stay out longer. Now sober I can see what matters,I've got friends who don't drink at all which I never would have had before.

Ignore the voice btw-control doesn't suddenly appear after a period of abstinence. It does appear less frequently as time goes on.

Welcome to SR,I'm in Scotland too

lommey

I relate to that nswimming well done on 16 days and tomorrow is 17

Jeni26

Welcome to SR. I could relate to your post.

I've a couple of lovely friends who very rarely drink. I would spend part of every evening I was with them wishing I could get home to start on the vodka. It preoccupied my thoughts and clouded many a happy time.

The good news is, since I've been sober and dropped my superficial drinking crowd buddies, these people have become a much more important and stable influence in my life. We have such a lot of fun now. I don't see them often, but when I do it's like we've never been apart.

Dee74

one of the joys of recovery for me has been reconnecting with people I 'let go' when drinking became my obsession

There's something in a really strong true friendship that's beyond worth

welcome to SR nightswimming

D

Chrysalis7

Keep on focusing on the positive aspects of not drinking. That is such a great way to approach it. It is so hard to know that I can never have another drink again. Whenever I have considered it, I never think of one drink as just a drink. I think of one drink as inviting back all of the horrible things that alcoholism brought with it.

Mountainmanbob

we need to remember that
we will miss out on far more if we go back to drinking

so easy to deceive ourselves

WATCH OUT FOR THE ONE YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR
yes, that's the one who has deceived us the most

Mountainman

Nightswimming

Thanks all for the replies. I know I'm doing the right thing but it never hurts to see it written down and I'm sitting here smiling because in spite of everything else going on in my life just now (treatment for clinical depression) I have 17 days alcohol free now.

The other half went out for dinner and drinks with a friend last night and came in around midnight (planned). I was a bit annoyed about it but I have not asked him to stop drinking and his drinking is in no way problematic. I think I was having a bit of envy that he is able to do that and retain control. Anyway, he is hungover and feeling lousy this morning and I'm about to go out for a run so that's what I'm focusing on!