Doing it without AA?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Yes, I have heard of and met people who said they had achieved long term sobriety outside of AA, perhaps in other programs like Rational Recovery, Smart Recovery, or just by using counseling. I tried to do it for years just with counseling but it didn't work long time and I kept relapsing. I found I needed the help of other alcoholics, as it happened with an AA Agnostics meeting, although I'm not really an agnostic. The key may be to get with other persons in recovery and the particular program you use may not be crucial.
W.
W.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Originally Posted by freshstart57 
The vast majority of people formerly addicted to alcohol have done just as you have, Serendipity. They are content and happy, and dealing with whatever their life brings to them without a formal program. No steps, no meetings. They gave it up, moved on from their drinking using days, and got on with their lives.
I am sober too, as you are, without AA. And I have 'bad days' from time to time, as you do, and meditate too. I also stay active in as many different ways as I can. I think this is what people who have never been addicts do to stay happy in their lives do also. It is part of practicing good mental hygiene.
I believe the motivation for your question has nothing to do with your own sobriety now, but you are confused by your 'friends in the fellowship'. They can only speak of what they know, and for them, steps and meetings are essential to their sobriety. They think that this is essential to everyone's sobriety. They are just trying to advise you the only way they know how.
Thank your friends for their well meaning advice. Maybe you feel you can accompany them to some meetings without risking your sobriety, you might find something you like and enjoy there.
You got sober and clean by believing in yourself, by believing in your ability to stay sober and do just as you have been doing for two and a half years. My hat is off to you. This is an achievement that is envied by every addict, former and present, and it should be respected. You are AWESOME! Onward with your badass self.
I am sober too, as you are, without AA. And I have 'bad days' from time to time, as you do, and meditate too. I also stay active in as many different ways as I can. I think this is what people who have never been addicts do to stay happy in their lives do also. It is part of practicing good mental hygiene.
I believe the motivation for your question has nothing to do with your own sobriety now, but you are confused by your 'friends in the fellowship'. They can only speak of what they know, and for them, steps and meetings are essential to their sobriety. They think that this is essential to everyone's sobriety. They are just trying to advise you the only way they know how.
Thank your friends for their well meaning advice. Maybe you feel you can accompany them to some meetings without risking your sobriety, you might find something you like and enjoy there.
You got sober and clean by believing in yourself, by believing in your ability to stay sober and do just as you have been doing for two and a half years. My hat is off to you. This is an achievement that is envied by every addict, former and present, and it should be respected. You are AWESOME! Onward with your badass self.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
The book "Sober for Good" reviews the various methods and approaches people with more than 5 years of sobriety had used. It is very interesting to see the variety of ways as well as the common threads that run through them. That book helped me immensely.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
There are many paths to sobriety. AA does not have a monopoly on recovery. However, as a PP has said, seek out those with substantial sobriety and find out if they are happy. If they are sober and happy, find out how they did it.
Glad you are here.
Glad you are here.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Serendipity, with your two and a half years of sobriety, I think YOU should be offering advice! That sounds long term to me! I think there are many many people here that would benefit from your experience. Awesome!
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
This is only my defination but I consider long term 10+ years. I have heard at 4+ years the long term sobriety rate dramtically increases. I like 10 years because life has had time to throw a lot of crap at you and if you are still sober chances are what you are doing is working
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Not one of us can tell you if you can stay sober with or without meetings.
Some people will tell you "Of course you'll relapse if you don't go to meetings." Others will tell you "I've never been to meetings and I've been sober for 9 years so of course you don't need meetings." My guess is that if you don't want to go to meetings, you'll latch on to those who say you don't need them.....and possibly be annoyed with those who say you do. In my opinion, while those statements may be right for those individuals, it may not be right for you.
Those statements are just proof that we're all different. You have to find what's right for YOU.
We can only share our experience, and as you'll see nearly all of us have a different journey throughout our recovery and sobriety; how we did it, how we maintain it. We're all different.
What does your gut tell you? Can YOU stay sober without meetings? What has worked for YOU the last 2 and a half years?
Whatever you decide - I wish you the best. We're all here for you!
Some people will tell you "Of course you'll relapse if you don't go to meetings." Others will tell you "I've never been to meetings and I've been sober for 9 years so of course you don't need meetings." My guess is that if you don't want to go to meetings, you'll latch on to those who say you don't need them.....and possibly be annoyed with those who say you do. In my opinion, while those statements may be right for those individuals, it may not be right for you.
Those statements are just proof that we're all different. You have to find what's right for YOU.
We can only share our experience, and as you'll see nearly all of us have a different journey throughout our recovery and sobriety; how we did it, how we maintain it. We're all different.
What does your gut tell you? Can YOU stay sober without meetings? What has worked for YOU the last 2 and a half years?
Whatever you decide - I wish you the best. We're all here for you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by PaperDolls
Not one of us can tell you if you can stay sober with or without meetings.
Some people will tell you "Of course you'll relapse if you don't go to meetings." Others will tell you "I've never been to meetings and I've been sober for 9 years so of course you don't need meetings." My guess is that if you don't want to go to meetings, you'll latch on to those who say you don't need them.....and possibly be annoyed with those who say you do. In my opinion, while those statements may be right for those individuals, it may not be right for you.
Those statements are just proof that we're all different. You have to find what's right for YOU.
We can only share our experience, and as you'll see nearly all of us have a different journey throughout our recovery and sobriety; how we did it, how we maintain it. We're all different.
What does your gut tell you? Can YOU stay sober without meetings? What has worked for YOU the last 2 and a half years?
Whatever you decide - I wish you the best. We're all here for you!
Some people will tell you "Of course you'll relapse if you don't go to meetings." Others will tell you "I've never been to meetings and I've been sober for 9 years so of course you don't need meetings." My guess is that if you don't want to go to meetings, you'll latch on to those who say you don't need them.....and possibly be annoyed with those who say you do. In my opinion, while those statements may be right for those individuals, it may not be right for you.
Those statements are just proof that we're all different. You have to find what's right for YOU.
We can only share our experience, and as you'll see nearly all of us have a different journey throughout our recovery and sobriety; how we did it, how we maintain it. We're all different.
What does your gut tell you? Can YOU stay sober without meetings? What has worked for YOU the last 2 and a half years?
Whatever you decide - I wish you the best. We're all here for you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
I think everyone is different. I don't really go to AA meetings consistently. I go when I feel like it. However, I do see a counsellor every week and I find the meetings with my counsellor to be incredibly helpful. My counsellor has been sober for many years and I find it very helpful having a counsellor that has walked the same walk. He understands completely what I'm feeling because he himself went through the same things. He also tells it to me straight and can quickly cut through my bulls**t.
If I didn't have this counsellor I would be going to AA meetings every week because I think it's important to surround yourself with sober alcoholics that can provide strong support.
If I didn't have this counsellor I would be going to AA meetings every week because I think it's important to surround yourself with sober alcoholics that can provide strong support.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Serendipity,
Well done on the 2 years! That is awesome. You sound very grounded.
I don't really practice any specific method but I'm a big meditator too to help me navigate through life. I think everyone is different and has different needs.
I do know for me since I had 10 years once and then made the decision to start drinking again that 1) I don't want to do that again and 2) I need to be reminded that addiction can happen to anybody and I have a short memory so...
I am sticking around SR to be reminded and also to maybe be helpful in a small way. Even if its just to say to someone new, I know how you feel.
So...I think the 2 components for me are gratitude and service. If I take each day and I can be grateful for something and if I can do one little thing that helps any person, that's more than I did drinking. IMO anything that supports those two things is a good thing to help me be the person I want to be. There are so many opportunities for me to do this. So I guess I do have my method and it works for me. So far. I will always keep my options open though just in case. If it works, I will keep doing it. If something starts not feeling right, I will adjust.
I'm so happy you found your way out of that hell 2 years ago! Thank you for sharing that.
Just me.
Well done on the 2 years! That is awesome. You sound very grounded.
I don't really practice any specific method but I'm a big meditator too to help me navigate through life. I think everyone is different and has different needs.
I do know for me since I had 10 years once and then made the decision to start drinking again that 1) I don't want to do that again and 2) I need to be reminded that addiction can happen to anybody and I have a short memory so...
I am sticking around SR to be reminded and also to maybe be helpful in a small way. Even if its just to say to someone new, I know how you feel.
So...I think the 2 components for me are gratitude and service. If I take each day and I can be grateful for something and if I can do one little thing that helps any person, that's more than I did drinking. IMO anything that supports those two things is a good thing to help me be the person I want to be. There are so many opportunities for me to do this. So I guess I do have my method and it works for me. So far. I will always keep my options open though just in case. If it works, I will keep doing it. If something starts not feeling right, I will adjust.
I'm so happy you found your way out of that hell 2 years ago! Thank you for sharing that.
Just me.
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Two years is outstanding work. It matters not one jot how you got there or how you plan on adding to it. You are doing something incredibly right.
I still go to AA/NA meetings and have many friends in the groups. Some are by the book adherents, others not so. Contrary to the more hysterical and often ill-informed appreciations of some, it is a broad "church".
There are aspects I like. There are aspects I dislike. But I'll do anything to stay clean. So I take what I want and I leave the rest. Just my experience.
I still go to AA/NA meetings and have many friends in the groups. Some are by the book adherents, others not so. Contrary to the more hysterical and often ill-informed appreciations of some, it is a broad "church".
There are aspects I like. There are aspects I dislike. But I'll do anything to stay clean. So I take what I want and I leave the rest. Just my experience.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
I firmly believe there are many paths to recovery. However, I think we all seek the same destination, not drinking, not desiring a drink and living a rich, rewarding life. How we get there is up to us.
I attend AA meetings, but I guess I'm a cafeteria AA member. I choose what I like. Most of all, I enjoy being around people who have recovered from alcoholism. I also enjoy giving whatever support I can to other members, even if it's just to offer a word or two of encouragement. As others have said, I believe it's a good idea to spend some time around other people who are in recovery (SR is also a good place for this kind of interaction).
I attend AA meetings, but I guess I'm a cafeteria AA member. I choose what I like. Most of all, I enjoy being around people who have recovered from alcoholism. I also enjoy giving whatever support I can to other members, even if it's just to offer a word or two of encouragement. As others have said, I believe it's a good idea to spend some time around other people who are in recovery (SR is also a good place for this kind of interaction).
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