Raider

Grizz you story breaks my heart. You are 23...I'm 54 and still drinking. Don't wait to get help. 30 years flys by in a heartbeat.

flutter

Welcome

HeadLump

That is oh, so true

But so good, Grizz, that you're recognising the problem now. I, too, was the wrong side of 50 before I'd finally had enough

360shoes

Hi Grizz,
I hope you are doing okay. There are a lot of people here who can give you support through every stage of this. They did me.

I too had severe anxiety before I ever drank. Then I started drinking. It didn't work so well. I didn't know what to take care of first but I suspected quiting drinking was my best shot at getting better.

If I were you, I'd start by getting honest. With myself and the people in my life. Even if that means just saying you need help. You sound like you are being honest with yourself so good for you. That's the first step. It's a hard one but you did it.

So go straight to your doctor and lay it all out. If he or she has a perplexed look on their face, I would find one who has experience helping people like us. I would come right out and ask if they do. Take your mom or a good friend with you if you have to. Once I had expert help and support getting detoxed and help with my anxiety, I made a turn.

I had to be concerned about what kind of continuing support works for me when the time was right for me to be concerned about that. In the beginning, I would do whatever I had to do to, to keep it going, no matter what method it was. There will be a day you find the method that makes it all make sense for you and helps you stay sober. Getting sober and staying sober are two different things IMO.

None of the stages we all go through are easy. But how we were living wasn't easy either. Choose your hard. You can do it. Some days will feel great and some won't. It will be okay. In time you will be living the life you want and deserve.

You can do it and you have a lot of people here and where you live to help you with it. This is just all my opinion. Everyone has to do what's best for them. Just remember. You don't have to do it alone.

I wish you the best Grizz.

CaseyW

This. A million times this. It's not going to get better unless you get some help. Alcoholism is progressive in nature. It's not going to get any better, only worse, the thousands of members of this message board can all tell you this.

Wishing you the best in your recovery and thank you for your honesty in here. It's a good first step. Hope you get the help you need, it is possible to recover, I promise.

Eleni58

You say your mom is an R.N. Does she have some connections where she can at least get you into some intensive outpatient therapy?

I am 55 and when I was your age, I already had two kids and was just starting on the road to alcoholism. I wish I would have quit when I was your age. My life would have been so much easier and better.

DayTrader

Go back or don't go back, that's your call. Where you said you "tried AA" though, I wonder if you could clarify that. I'm going to guess you meant that you went to some meetings and they didn't seem like they had anything for you. I'm also going to guess what you didn't mean was that you worked all 12 steps and found it didn't work. The first example reminds me of my little brother when we were kids at the dinner table with him saying he didn't like "x" on his plate but had never tasted it before. So, think about whether you really "tried" AA or just thought about trying it.

Hopefully you fit into the first example (went to meetings and thought about it) because that means you haven't "tried" AA yet so it's still possible that that's your solution. pssssst.......I didn't think it made any sense or that it would work for me either. <---which makes perfect sense. I was using the same brain to plot out my course of recovery all the while ignoring the fact that it was this same brain that put me into the nightmare I was living........seemingly without my conscious attempt to do so.

AA is not a spectator-program. Just like in football, being in the stands watching is not sufficient to score a touchdown. You simply HAVE to be a player, IN the game, running/catching the ball (ie, taking action) to score points. I've yet to see or even hear of 1 alcoholic recover who just went to meetings without working the steps. Ya just can't score from the stands.

Doing what "made sense" got me here......guess what more of it will get me? better?? lol.......probably not.

No shocker here: When doing what I think will work consistently DOESN'T work......changing gears and doing what's worked for millions of others but sure doesn't look like it makes any sense is probably exactly what I need. That was the theory under which I took my chance with AA. I was convinced it was bs and that there's no way in hell it would be even worth my time. To try it though, that meant I'd have to get in the game, make the moves, catch the ball and see if I score any points. Sitting back and philosophizing about how I thought it would likely turn out was a cop-out.

It's funny....but this Seinfeld episode is soooooo dead on track with how I plugged into recovery: (do a search on youtube for "George Costanza Does The Opposite").

Some people give "that which doesn't make sense" a sincere try before they burn up that last handful of friendships, money, etc. Many wait till they've burned it all down before they'll move on. You don't have to wait that long......