In Memory of keyweird

Well, where to start. The past few weeks have been a living nightmare. Inside I'm full of turmoil & fear. I became aware of "The Mass" in my breast while doing a routine exam, suddenly it was there!? At first I had a slight uneasiness about it. But, I had a lumpectomy about 13 years ago & it was just a Cyst. I've had them since & they always go away after a few days. However this is not the case this time. This particular lump got larger very quickly, & I took myself in to the Dr.'s office to have it checked. I'm on public assistance, so, I've had to go through a lot of paperwork for approvals & references. I finally had a mammogram, & an Ultrasound. Obviously there is something there, it's been growing for the past 6 weeks...
I've been saying in the chat room that I'm not going to worry until there is something to worry about! But, I had my first visit with the surgeon Thursday. And, he wasn't nearly as kind about the severity of the matter as my own Dr. has been. He didn't sugarcoat anything. he did a needle Biopsy & I have to wait to hear about the pathology Report on Monday evening when he's done with office hours. As I sat in his office listening to him tell me that should my results test positive for Cancer cells that "It will take about 45 minutes to explain the process & where we go"??? And, it all hit me right then, 45 minutes to break down a plan for my life?! WTH? I just want to scream that its "Just a Cyst"!! I pray that its just a cyst! If it is "just a Cyst" it still has to come out right away because it's the size of a golf ball now. Logically I know I shouldn't fear the worst, but, I do. I have an aunt that passed 6 months after diagnosis of BC. I've been an emotional wreck since Thursday. I'm not prone to panic attacks but, have had a few. Even in what little sleep I've had, I've had panic nightmares? When I'm awake, I've got stress sickness. Stomach ache's & nausea! I fell like I'm going to explode. I'm taking walks & trying to read, but, my mind keeps jumping back to that seat in the office.... 45 minutes huh?

lillyknitting

I'm sure it's just a cyst. I'm praying it's just a cyst xx

Yankee73

*hugs*

Alphabet

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, Key *hugs*

hayley86

I have been thinking of you key. Wishing you well. *Big hug*.

phoebe64

All the best. I hope it is just a cyst.

Raider

Prayers your way!

Anna

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think that the waiting is the worst of all. Try to remember that the dr has to disengage himself from the emotional part of his job or he wouldn't be able to do it. He has to be clinical in order to help you the best he can. That said, he does sound like a bit of cold jerk.

Please try to believe that you are not a victim here. You have power to get through this however it turns out. And, please be sure to let us know when you hear anymore news.

cascademn

Key, your friends are with you. All our love and hope to you.

Big Hugs,
Cas

fancyfee

Hi Key, the waiting is the hardest part. I had breast cancer about 3years ago, so I understand the inner anxiety and the tape playing through your mind right now. If you need to chat about anything when you receive your results, I'm usually on daily, you can PM me (I mostly hang out on Substance Abuse.)

Sending you good thoughts and (((hugs))).

lommey

hi kee your in my prayers.Ihad bc 7 years ago and am good now. if you want to chat pm me . waiting is the hard partxx