burritoxplease

I found him almost dead on the bathroom floor less than a week ago which was a great trauma for us both, he hung on and barely survived, but has been shameful and nasty about it since. Resentful toward me for "babysitting" and trying to monitor him. Well, tonight he left for inpatient rehab. We are grotesquely codependent and I feel very alone and afraid. I even know that inpatient is only a small step to recovery, he is a self destructive person and I can't bear it anymore, his addiction has caused me great anxiety and grief. I don't know why I stay except that I love him. I don't believe anything he says nor believe in him anymore. I think the sensationalism of the OD will wear off. Please help me. I love him and his family dearly and cannot imagine losing him to death or departure of any kind.

burritoxplease

I should add that I have been with him just over a year, but have previously seriously dated a cocaine addict (1 year, when I was 20) and a serious alcoholic who destroyed our lives with alcohol (5 years, 24-29). I am now 31. I have never been an addict, but I am clearly addicted to addicts. Help!

Dee74

Welcome to SR burritoxplease

Dealing with an addicted loved one is pretty much a life of uncertainly until we find recovery.

I'm sorry for that, but I know you'll find a ton of support and comfort here

I can really recommend Melody Beatties Codependent No More to read. It really opened my eyes to what I was doing and what kind of relationships I was in.

Theres some good reading in these links too


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-posts.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dependent.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cy-family.html

D

Carlotta

:Welcome to SR.

I would suggest that you check out the friends and family forum. You will find a lot of support there Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I would also suggest that you check out Nar Anon which is a 12 step fellowship for friends and family of drugs users. They do have face to face meetings there.
Here is the link to their website for NJ.
Naranon Of NJ
Remember when it comes to his addiction: you did not cause it, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it but what you can do is start working on yourself so you can find some modicum of peace and serenity.

Silvy69

Co-dependent no more is really a great book. Also Al-anon I heard it is the 12 step program

least

to SR! I hope you can get some support for yourself after going thru all that with your bf. I pray you find some peace in your life.