9 Months Today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 44
9 Months Today
Hi, I haven't drunk for 3/4 of a year today. I thought I would check-in. I have been lurking on here, gaining inspiration when I needed it, and reminding myself that I am like others and that I do have a problem.
I was never daily dependent, half of the problem, I could go without, but when I was drinking I didn't always know where I would end up or what I would do. Plenty of wreckage along the way. Great times as well, they kept me at though!
I am quite a shy chap, despite superficially oozing confidence. I cringe when I meet people, probably partly because of drink fuelled self esteem issues. But I only really socialised in drink. That helped. Now I just have to face people.
I don't seem to have lost any friends, I have managed to sit out meals with drinking friends, and actually enjoy other people's company without just worrying about when my glass would be full again.
I have had some difficult social encounters, but have found the anticipation worse than the encounter.
It is a big job, as for 20 odd years I have avoided stress with drink, and I am having to learn to deal with it, and emotions and things!
Despite managing not to drink, I miss it a lot. More specifically I miss getting drunk and occasionally smashed. I see a counsellor, she told me that I would grieve for the drink, and I do. It sometimes feels that whilst I can go without it, I miss it more over time. And the alcohol voice talks to me,as it always did.
I cannot say I have given it up yet, rather like the partner who you split with and who you can never quite admit you will never see again, but who you know in your heart of hearts you can never be with.
I am going to the pub tonight with an old drinking pal and I guy I want to get to know, but feel slightly wary of, drink would make things a whole lot easier. But, ah well.
Just wanted to share my thoughts.
Thanks to all.
I was never daily dependent, half of the problem, I could go without, but when I was drinking I didn't always know where I would end up or what I would do. Plenty of wreckage along the way. Great times as well, they kept me at though!
I am quite a shy chap, despite superficially oozing confidence. I cringe when I meet people, probably partly because of drink fuelled self esteem issues. But I only really socialised in drink. That helped. Now I just have to face people.
I don't seem to have lost any friends, I have managed to sit out meals with drinking friends, and actually enjoy other people's company without just worrying about when my glass would be full again.
I have had some difficult social encounters, but have found the anticipation worse than the encounter.
It is a big job, as for 20 odd years I have avoided stress with drink, and I am having to learn to deal with it, and emotions and things!
Despite managing not to drink, I miss it a lot. More specifically I miss getting drunk and occasionally smashed. I see a counsellor, she told me that I would grieve for the drink, and I do. It sometimes feels that whilst I can go without it, I miss it more over time. And the alcohol voice talks to me,as it always did.
I cannot say I have given it up yet, rather like the partner who you split with and who you can never quite admit you will never see again, but who you know in your heart of hearts you can never be with.
I am going to the pub tonight with an old drinking pal and I guy I want to get to know, but feel slightly wary of, drink would make things a whole lot easier. But, ah well.
Just wanted to share my thoughts.
Thanks to all.
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