Sober 13 months but wanting to drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 139
Sober 13 months but wanting to drink
I've been sober for 13.5 months. That is amazing!!! My life has gotten so much better. I don't feel miserable all the time, and I'm not crying into a bottle alone. I am a member of AA and I am on my 11th step. I'm active in the AA community, and I attend every meeting my small town has.
AND....I want to drink. I've been in self pity mode the last two days. Feeling lonely and sorry for myself. "This is where my life is supposed to be....etc, etc". And I want so badly just to get rip roaring drunk and forget it all for a night. Like, a free pass for one day. I wish it were that easy....
AND....I want to drink. I've been in self pity mode the last two days. Feeling lonely and sorry for myself. "This is where my life is supposed to be....etc, etc". And I want so badly just to get rip roaring drunk and forget it all for a night. Like, a free pass for one day. I wish it were that easy....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Skip - I'm really glad to see you again and hear of your 11 months 
Sorry to hear you're down tho - I think most of us have to grapple with the 'unfairness' of not being able to drink.
Our addiction is tricky - even 11 months out.
Be careful tho that you're not romancing it all - the way I drank was anything but a respite, and it was anything but 'just one night'
I think there's healthier more life affirming ways to deal with whatever is ailing you right now.
What does your sponsor say?
D
Sorry to hear you're down tho - I think most of us have to grapple with the 'unfairness' of not being able to drink.
Our addiction is tricky - even 11 months out.
Be careful tho that you're not romancing it all - the way I drank was anything but a respite, and it was anything but 'just one night'
I think there's healthier more life affirming ways to deal with whatever is ailing you right now.
What does your sponsor say?
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I like what Boleo has said about drinking... that is was a delusion of sorts. This really helps me at times when I want to romanticize drinking, the drinking scenarios and all that goes with it...
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Nice to see you back 12Skip And well done on 13.5 months! That is an awesome achievement. And one that shouldn't be thrown away lightly. I have had moments where I really wanted to drink too, I think it's only natural. At the time I really don't see how I can get past it and that it will somehow be inevitable that I will drink. But I don't and it passes. Could you ring another AA member when you feel like this? Even just chatting about something else for a few minutes might distract you from it x
And well done on 13.5 months! That is an awesome achievement. And one that shouldn't be thrown away lightly. I have had moments where I really wanted to drink too, I think it's only natural. At the time I really don't see how I can get past it and that it will somehow be inevitable that I will drink. But I don't and it passes. Could you ring another AA member when you feel like this? Even just chatting about something else for a few minutes might distract you from it x
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
Hi Skip - you may think you want to drink today, but you remember the feeling of that last hangover all that time ago?...... do you want to deal with that also, or will your week be a whole lot better without having a heavy head from alcohol poisoning? Maybe you could spoil yourself in another way buy taking yourself out to a favourite restaurant, treating yourself to a small gift or something like that Hang in there, you're doing great at 13 months sober. I can't yet imagine how good it must feel to be sober for so long.
Hang in there, you're doing great at 13 months sober. I can't yet imagine how good it must feel to be sober for so long.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 139
Thanks, Dee! That is exactly what it is. Wrestling with the "unfairness" of it all. Truth is, I've drank my share for a lifetime. There is no fair/not fair about it. My ego and my head like to turn it around though so I can feel sorry for myself.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I'm wondering if there is something that has changed or is going to change in your life. I know that I do not like change...at all. Even if the change is good! Change makes me squirelly. Squirelly makes me want to drink. Maybe you are just hitting another stage in your recovery.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Congrats on your sober time A few weeks ago I was in the dregs of self pity, had some upsetting things happen and you guessed it, I wanted to drink! It took almost 3 weeks for me to start feeling better but I do now and in the midst of all the crap I was feeling I continued with my meetings, reaching out to newcomers, coming on here and asking for help and praying. We are alcoholics. Sometimes I think I just need to accept that I will want to drink at times. But now I don't have to act on it. Keep on keeping on, it will pass.
A few weeks ago I was in the dregs of self pity, had some upsetting things happen and you guessed it, I wanted to drink! It took almost 3 weeks for me to start feeling better but I do now and in the midst of all the crap I was feeling I continued with my meetings, reaching out to newcomers, coming on here and asking for help and praying. We are alcoholics. Sometimes I think I just need to accept that I will want to drink at times. But now I don't have to act on it. Keep on keeping on, it will pass.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
it is a thought to instantly run from
Originally Posted by 12skiptomylue 
I want to drink. I've been in self pity mode the last two days. Feeling lonely and sorry for myself. "This is where my life is supposed to be....etc, etc". And I want so badly just to get rip roaring drunk and forget it all for a night. Like, a free pass for one day. I wish it were that easy....
Doctor Bob had the want to drink for a couple of years
being honest with himself he knew
that he had abused the right to drink long ago
there would never be normal drinking again for him
thus he did not take that first drink
from my past I learned that
if I entertain the thought of drinking for too long (or much at all)
I always ended up drunk yet again
today I do not entertain that thought
it is (for me) a thought to instantly run from
flee from sin ASAP
a man is what he thinkith
MB
being honest with himself he knew
that he had abused the right to drink long ago
there would never be normal drinking again for him
thus he did not take that first drink
from my past I learned that
if I entertain the thought of drinking for too long (or much at all)
I always ended up drunk yet again
today I do not entertain that thought
it is (for me) a thought to instantly run from
flee from sin ASAP
a man is what he thinkith
MB
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by 12skiptomylue
AND....I want to drink.
I don't even have to have a bad day to feel this way. There are some days just out of the blue I will think that that is what I want to do. I just want to drink and get drunk. Some days I think to myself, what is the whole point of all this really??? Is this all????
I really don't think it is uncommon to have these feelings especially after reaching milestones. I'm not ashamed or feel bad that I have these thoughts, it is how we deal with these feelings/thoughts when we get them that is important.
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