Melbell

Well today is day two for me. The longest I have had in sobriety for one period was just over two years and I did it through AA. I have been drinking daily now since last May 2012 when I left my husband. I met with my old sponsor last night for coffee and she moved further away from me in the next town. She recommended that I meet with one of her sponsees who has 9 years of sobriety and who has a similiar story to my own. Young children close in age. I met with her for coffee tonight and it felt good. I WANT to be sober but it is soooo hard. I was in this horrible cycle of daily drinking and now I have to find a new way to live - sober. I came home and just went to get a pop and found a cooler in the back of my fridge (I dumped all my booze on Tuesday night) but missed it. I immediately poured it down the sink. That felt good but I am so scared of failing. Tomorrow is Friday and I drank - even though daily I drank way more on the weekends. I am planning a meeting tomorrow night with my new sponsor. I have been in and out so many times over the past 6.5 years - in rehab and I'm really scared. And lonely but I do want sobriety. I KNOW its a better life.

Wish me luck in this journey!!

Dollyangel17

Welcome! Congrats on day 2 and on pouring that booze out! We are here to support and listen. I was also a daily drinker for the last 6 years. It had gotten to that point when I couldn't deny I needed help. I was drinking in the morning before work, a little in my car in my lunch hour, and of corse every night!

I never thought I could get thus far, but so glad I did. 100 days for me:-)

Bubovski

I wish you strength on the journey, not luck.
It is hard, so many traps along the way.
Stick about this forum and maybe back to meetings.

DisplacedGRITS

listen to your sponsor, work the steps, keep up your meetings and remember that you are a regular ole alcoholic like so many of us and that abstinence is the most reliable method of control we have. i have to remind myself from time to time that i cannot control my drinking. when i drink, i crave and when i crave, i cave. that's an indisputable truth in my life and one i accept. welcome back on the wagon. i hope you're on for good!

Mizzuno

Take this one day at a time. I understand the fear, but all you can do is moment to moment. The thoughts of failing are only thoughts. They do not make it reality. Do what you can, and stay close to sober people, forums, readings. Start the incorporation of things that will make you happy and feel alive. Be gentle with you because you deserve it. We are here for support. Congrats on dumping that alcohol, and to your new commitment.

Bruce292

Go to the mirror, look at yourself, and say "You're AMAZING for staying sober for two days!". I'm not telling you what to do but you get the idea. Of course you're afraid of failing. Good healthy fear is sometimes there to keep us safe. It's the same fear that tells us "Don't poke the tiger in the belly". Also congratulations on dumping the alcohol. IHMO that's a huge step in cleaning house. When I finally realized that my drinking/using was a cycle ... a horrible cycle ... I finally could come to grips with the fact that sobriety was the only way to become well again.

Thank you for your post and keep posting.

Hevyn

Welcome Melbell! I'm glad you want to make this big change in your life. Great job on Day 2. We all understand how hard it is - but it gets easier. It helps to be here sharing your thoughts. Keeps your fingers & mind busy. You can do this.

Alphabet

Best of luck to you, MelBel! Keeping you in my thoughts <3

Addi

Good luck to you! Also on day 2 and I actually went out to dinner with my girlfriends tonight and was the only one not drinking. Guess what? I survived and actually had fun watching everyone else get tipsy and loud. Guess who drove almost everybody home?

misterritter

Good luck this weekend.

A fear of failing has kept me from attempting so many things and alcohol was there to make me forget the true failure of not attempting. It sounds so cliche but 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. It sounds so easy, especially when my insides tell me 'don't try and you won't fail'.

Congrats on dumping the bottle out. Each little victory makes things a little easier and helps us to regain some confidence.

Silvy69

As a newcomer I am learning to live for today... I tell myself I will not drink today... Then if you think about it you are going thru the days as TODAY. Hope I made sense.. I wish you well in your sobriety.. I always say to myself that drinking is not an option.