tate9685

My boyfriend is still missing since Saturday, August 3, 2013. After not hearing from him for 3 days, On Monday some guy answered his phone and said that he had been partying with my b/f in New York (we live in VA) and that he knows where he is but needs me to wire him $50.00 because he doesn't want to go to this bad neighborhood where he says my b/f is staying and "smoking drugs". My b/f has a drinking problem but I dont know anything about drugs. I didn't wire this guy any money but tried to stall him. I ask him what my b/f looks like and he says 5'8", glasses, blonde hair and green eyes, skinny. I said Nope, 6'1" gray eyes, no glasses, medium build. The guy starts getting hostile and telling me to quit playing games. I have tried to call my b/f's' Mother's home number (with no answering machine or voice mail set up) for 4 days now and no answer. She is a Hermit/Hoarder and never answers her phone. I leave a note on her door and now have mailed her a letter asking her to call me. I am completely sick with worry. Barely eating or sleeping and exhausted. I know something bad has happened to him. The waiting is torture. I want to go by this bar he frequents and put his picture up on a flyer or at least ask the bartenders if they know anyone he hangs out with there that I can call, but if I go to that bar, I know i will drink...and drink and drink. I can't stop crying.

ImperfectlyMe

I would notify authorities and let them handle it.

resolute50

Oh please,don't drink.
Have you considered talking to the police?
Seems suspicious that somebody else anwered his phone.

BabyJane

Hi,

Really sorry to hear about your situation. my dad went missing last year for a few days and it was torture. Have you filed a missing persons report with the authorities?

IOAA2

Hi. I feel your worry and concern but am concerned with your well being. Part of the Serenity prayer says “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change, courage to change the things I can AND the wisdom to know the difference.” A fact of life about alcoholics is we can’t get them sober, only ourselves. Try hanging in there for your sanity.

Eleni58

You absolutely need to call the police immediately! Just the fact that some stranger answered his phone tells me something is fishy. Is this something your b/f has done before? Gone missing?

tate9685

I did call the police this morning and filed a missing persons report. I finally got in touch with his Mother and she confirms that she hasn't heard from him and didn't know that he was in New York. She called my b/f's Dad and at least now I have 2 other people who love him trying to help me find him. Thanks everybody....I am not drinking and on my way to AA meeting.

Oldmedic

If you are like me, if you started to drink, you would care less about your b/f. This is definitely NOT the time to drink. Your worry is warranted, and it is important that you stay sober and help him.

Dee74

Hope you get some good news Tate

D

tate9685

Thanks everyone. I did talk to his Mom and she has not heard from him either. I gave her the Police Report #that was filed and she is going to try to get them to search his phone records ASAP. I DIDNT drink. I went to a meeting with my daughter accompanying me. She has been a great support. Thank God for her and all of You. Please pray for him. We want him back safely.

kab

tate9685 remember that your boyfriend has to accept the fact that he has a drinking and drug problem.he has to admit it to himself,,all u can do is pray for him,,keep praying don't stop,,jesus will help u and give u and your boyfriend everything you need,keep your faith in your hp

Michael66

Well done for holding it together Tate. That's fabulous.

Praying for your boyfriend and you.

God bless +

Michael

Nighthawk8820

I understand you are worried, but you cant let other people and situations effect your sobriety or what you are trying to accomplish here. There will always be a crisis, people who let you down, or something that can trigger feelings to drink, but its up to you to learn how to overcome these things with a clear head and not use alcohol as a crutch. Everything you are feeling right now would be 10 times worse if you drank, and I think you know this to be true. Call the authorities if you are worried and let them get on the case, because right now there is not much you can personally do. I do feel for you though, cant be an easy situation, but like I said........drinking will not help at all.

Nighthawk8820

It is odd though how he has seemingly vanished. I wonder if you could ask a friend or use a fax to get his flyer out to NY? This could keep you out of the bars and allow people to get the word out. Maybe if you do go to the bars to ask to put up a flyer, you will be on such a mission to find him, you wont even notice the alcohol because you are focused.

tate9685

Thank you everyone again. HE CALLED ME LAST NIGHT. He said that he just got his phone back (this was around 8:30 p.m.) He said that he dropped his cell on the subway in N.Y. and that some "crack head" had it. He said he called his own cell number and met the guy and got it back. I don't believe this story either. If he did track the guy down...why wait so long to do it? Maybe the "crack head" was telling the truth that my b/f was smoking it too and only when I called my b/f's Mother and got the Police involved did my b/f decide to resurface. He text me throughout the night to say how sorry he was and didn't know he had worried me and put me through so much. He said he just needed to get away for awhile. I have nothing to offer him right now. I am depleted as far as he is concerned. Going to another AA meeting tonight and I guess going to take my time before I tell him to get the rest of his stuff out of the house. I have so many questions. For example his Mom just told me that he recently came into some $ from his Grandmother's Estate and he didn't tell me had and has barely been helping me with the household bills and groceries b/c he is unemployed and receives state assistance. And why did the police officer investigating tell me that the SSN he uses on his driver's license belongs to someone else? I know that when I see him I am going to have alot of anger and disgust towards him and right now I just want to stay sober and work on building myself back up physically, mentally and spiritually.

Sorry to worry anyone or have you pray for him because he was just being a selfish jerk. But thanks so much for your support. I'm sober since July 16th and not going to let him or anyone else take this away from me!!