Rubyx

So I survived day 1 which isn't that great of an accomplishment considering that I usually am able to not drink for one or 2 nights a week however last night my husband showed up with a 1.5L of wine for us to drink. I was able to say no and I have to say I really didn't want any. I feel pretty good about that because since I've started drinking this is only the second time I can remember turning down a drink. Does anyone here have a spouse that drinks? How do you deal with it? Over the years there have been many times I have told my husband that I want to quit drinking and he ends up bringing alcohol home. He is also an alcoholic although he denies it. I'm not sure if he's trying to sabotage me or if he just doesn't take me seriously when he hears me say I want to quit cause he's heard it a hundred times.

LSC1

My hubby continues to drink. I never told him I ws stopping ... didn't announce it ... I made sure I had plenty of mineral drinks and teas in the house so when I stopped there was / is something for me to drink when he drinks. I made sure I logged on to SR or SR chat when I would usually be drinking with him. It is not ideal to stop drinking when your partner drinks heavily ... but with a plan it can be done hug

Rubyx

Thank you LSC1. You just made me feel a lot better. I thought the first thing people would tell me was to leave. I'm hoping that he will also decide to quit or cut down but I think that is a unrealistic expectation since he has showed no desire to stop. I feel stronger today than I did yesterday

resolute50

Hi Ruby,

Glad you found the site.
As the days of sobriety go by you'll get stronger and stronger.

LSC1

HI Ruby
How's the day been ?

I have never been told by anyone on SR to leave my hubby. I was told not to make any major changes in early sobriety. My emotions were all over the place in that first month or so ... give yourself time to get strong ... grow those sober muscles and then think about your situation ...

I believe my hubby has reduced his drinking ... we have issues to work thru that are indirectly related (or directly) to his drinking the jury is still out on that debate.

Stay strong and focus on you. Walking helped me heaps in early sobriety. My hubby would drop me off on one side of town and I would walk home .. I slowly started to get more active and lo behold so has my hubby.

Stay in touch

Rubyx

My day went well, thanks for asking. Starting day 3 today still feel good although I am tired today didn't get the greatest sleep last night. I'm just trying to stay positive today and push away negative thoughts. I have a tendency to work myself up about past stuff and get upset about really stupid unimportant stuff, lol. Anyway, working at pushing all those bad feelings away, don't want to give myself any excuses. I like to stay physically active too, when I'm not drinking, so I'm going to sign up at a yoga place by my house this afternoon. It will give me something to do in the evenings.

resolute50

That's great that you're feeling good and still focused Ruby.
Have you ever done yoga before?
I often wondered how I'd feel after a session.

Louise82

Ruby - I have no experience of having a drinking spouse but I just wanted to say that one day is a huge accomplishment for any type of alcoholic. You may have been able to not drink for one or two nights a week when you were drinking but the difference is you knew you were going to drink again. This time you know you're quitting for good and that means having a whole day of not taking "one last drink" or whatever is huge. And being on day 3 is even huger, of course! Congratulations.

Bob - the other day I did some yoga poses I found descriptions for online and I must say I felt much more relaxed and less tired for the rest of the day. I don't know if it was just a coincidence though.

Rubyx

Hi Bob, yes I've done yoga before and it is really good for relaxing the mind and body :-)

Hi Louise, you are right once you make the decision to quit, I've done a thousand unsuccessful times, that's when you start stressing out. I'm at a point right now where I haven't been enjoying alcohol for a little while and I also am concerned for my health because of health issues that I have so for now that is what is motivating me. of course, I know from kicking other addictions that it is sometimes easy to forget what are motivations for quitting are after a bit of time has passed and we start to feel better.

MatildaRose

Ruby Dear, Stay strong. Sobriety is worth the effort to get and keep regardless of what others do. Love and nurture yourself in other ways and watch the sober days add up. I wish you strength and believe you can do this. I know you can!