luke85

Day 6 sober but I'm finding it hard not to ruminate about my alcoholic past behaviour.
I keep getting struck with massive bouts of anxiety, shame and guilt .Im also paranoid that my behaviour whilst under the influence will have future consequences with people I have offended such as them wanting to harm me or get revenge .Are these just part of the withdrawal from alcohol and when should expect them to pass.

JettBoy

I think when withdrawing from anything there are always bouts of guilt,anxiety,shame and everything else,it will pass,to say how long I don't know,it's different for all of us but you are in the right place and there is a lot of help available so just keep marching forward and remember you never have to feel this way again. Getting sober takes work ,if we put as much into it as we did our active addiction we'd be ok in no time.one day at a time,that's all we get.dont worry too much about yesterday's actions or what you might do tomorrow ,just concentrate on today,it will get better.all the best to you and we r all right here if you need us!!!!

resolute50

I know when I first went through it, after drinking for a long time.
I had a lot of anxiety.I had made som bad choices and that caused some people to really dislike me a lot.
But,you may be surprised at how,even folks that you hurt, will begin to have respect for you for getting sober.

Stimmed

Yes, normal withdrawal symptoms; though for some - depending on who they are.
6 days is great but still, obviously, early days. Tough to get through at times too but certainly they pass. Quicker too, if you focus more on what you're trying to do, rather than dwelling on things less in value. It is for us to make mistakes, while sober or otherwise... Still the focus should be on the now and cross each bridge as we come to it, learning as we go.

Stick at it, Luke, and good luck

hayley86

Congrats on 6 days!. I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. I would try to not focus on past events. Although feelings of shame and guilt are natural they are futile and wont help your recovery. Focus on getting sober and well and hopefully people will recognize the good changes in you. I think that's a good way of making amends for any wrong we did when we were drinking. Wishing you well.

ScottFromWI

Yes, those are very common feelings to have. And as others have mentioned, while they are normal it's very counterproductive to worry about them. You would have just as much luck worrying about what the temperature was 3 weeks ago or wondering if you can change the laws of physics. The best thing you can do moving foward is staying sober at all costs. That proves to people that you are serious about changing your life, and the longer you hold yourself to that standard the more respect and fogiveness you acquire from others around you. I also think it's important to remember that some of things we have done will never be forgiven and or changed, no matter what we do from this point forward. Living sober and true to ourselves will heal many wounds, but not all. In spite of that, sobriety is 100% worth it. Good job on 6 days and keep it up!

Hevyn

Hi Luke. I'm glad you brought this up. It was a huge problem for me early on.

Regret, remorse, guilt - almost led me back to drinking. I tortured myself with negative thoughts. When I joined SR I was advised to start being kind to myself - and patient. I needed to heal - and I'd likely stay on square one if I didn't give myself a break. As the others have said - guilt is a useless emotion. We can't unring the bell - but we can go forward with optimism and determination to never go back to that awful place again. People's memories will fade. The sober you will be what matters.

Congratulations on your 6 days Luke. You're doing great.

FreedomSought

Great thread bro. As I sober up, on day 8, I relate more and more to what people are going through on the Forums, and it feels good. Sounds true.

Yes, in the last week, I've felt SUPER helpless about what life's going to be like. Almost helpless enough to smoke pot (my DOC). I can't sleep at night sometimes, and I know that that is related to all the **** I ****** up when I was active. For example my mind likes to dwell on the 2 jobs I quit, because I felt invincible smoking herb, thinking I was going to be a touring musician or an author.

Without fuel the Parasite will grow weak. Whoever and whatever is hunting us down (because we definitely made enemies!) AS LONG AS WE STAY SOBER we will know what to do when the time comes. I'm ready to stay clean today and watch the mind play its ****** films. Thank God they're not real.

dragon12

luke85 - congrats on Day 6.

I'm now on DAY 14 and I have found that it is only now that I'm waking up without the anxiety and depression. It feels so good to wake up without that pit in my chest. My mood has definitely lifted.

Hang in there. We can't change what was, but when we start to see things with a clear head, it doesn't seem so bad any more.

luke85

Thanks for all the replies, I will try not to dwell so much on the things I cannot change and focus on my sobriety.