Hamilton87

So, 8 days in and I have already noticed at this very early stage that "friends" aren't as interested in hanging out and socialising when drink isn't involved. I am only starting this journey and so I am trying to work out which friends are positive company during this time and which friends are perhaps part of the overall problem... Ironically, some seem to be making it easier to work out who is who.
Onwards and upwards! :-)

Lightning Bug

Neither are spouses or significant others.

July2413

It's a good thing you are sorting them out instead of trying to please them!

Silvy69

Oh geesh I can totally relate.. Been sober for 19 days and not one friend have called to ask me if I wanted to do something that doesn't involve alcohol.. Hello big wake up call. And guess who called me? New people from AA that cares about me not picking up a drink and wants to know if I am ok.. You can do this

Mizzuno

I was thinking about my "friends" which I moved away from a year ago. We relocated to another part of the state. What I realized is that I surrounded myself with people who had the same interests as I, and a big interest was drinking. Not to say that I did not have other interests.
So, even now a co-worker asked me to hang out. She said, "We should drink together." I replied, " I do not drink."
I have not heard about getting together again. This is fine by me. I have found that many people surround themselves in this type of behavior. Some are social drinkers, and some are like us. I think that we can build wholesome relationships without the alcohol.

LadyinBC

Love this! That is what we need to do. Focus on us not pleasing everyone else.

lilgolden73

I learned this lesson the hard way, most people suck!

pennyroyaltea

Yup, I was an extremely social person before getting sober (well still am but haven't had a chance to express it in a while) but my friends stopped calling me once they found out I stopped drinking. They weren't real friends anyway. My health is more important and when I find people who want to be around me despite not drinking...I will know they are for real.

Good luck, we're here for you.

BarbieKen

Silvy, I just wanted to say that I think you are doing so well in your program. I may not comment very often on the board here, but I do listen (read). :-D
Yes, isn't the friendship and true caring of our fellows in A.A. THE BEST?! When my friends in the rooms ask me how I'm doing....I know I can open up.
:-D. Bobbi

Stimmed

Heh, of course friends are friends. Some folk, however, are not and never were or can ever be.

SoberHappyHour

I've been sober for almost 8 months now and I can honestly say that I've lost 99% of my friends once I got sober. It doesn't bother me much. At first I think it kind of did, but I have since learned that sober friends are easier to hang out with. One day I thought to myself tho .. People who drink have clouded minds and naturally want to hang out with others who drink With them. I too, when I drank, would rather have hung out with other drinkers when I was drinking. For that, I cannot get upset at them and I don't force them to hang out. I just remain happy with my sobriety and continue to meet more sober people who can relate to my new, amazing life.

Hamilton87

It sounds like this is a common theme theme across the board. I have a big test coming up in the next fortnight. One of my best friends birthday parties. I have been friends with the guy since I was 13, so I will be going. I will be leaving very early though as I don't want to be anywhere near drinkers for too long. This will be a big test. I believe and hope the guy will understand my situation. If not, then he will likely fall Into the aforementioned list. I will keep you guys updated.

hayley86

I can relate to what you say about working out which friends are positive company and which friends are part of the problem. I am nearly 10 months sober now and i found it tough in early sobriety when friends did not get that i no longer drank. The phone calls would still come for nights out even though i told them i was no longer drinking. That died down after a while and it was kind of a relief for me tbh.

I have some old friends who never drank much anyway who i go out with for nights out and through them have met new people who also don't drink much if at all. It seems like attracts like in terms of drinking and friends. I always had a separate group of "friends" that i went for nights out with. These were separate from people i would class as "real friends" so i guess that worked out kind of well for me. I don't care much anymore that these people are no longer part of my life there was not a lot of depth to these friendships anyway just a shared love of drinking and a good time. Which is now not the case for me.

Hamilton87- Hopefully if he is your true friend he will understand. I think going and leaving before anything gets too crazy is a good idea.