Instead of a meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3
Instead of a meeting
Hi,
my first post.
I have been going to lots of AA mtgs (~7 mo); not many are fulfilling.
I don't feel I belong. Seem to be a lot of "normal" people there.
Happy, social and in charge (except maybe for the alcohol)
I tend not to share so easily. Worried about criticism, staying on topic (alcohol only), not sharing properly (experience, strength & hope) I don't have the strength & hope part down yet.
I find ACA mtgs much better, but they are fewer (6 mtgs so far). I think I go to AA mostly for the company.
Was thinking of going to some al-non mtgs instead of AA. Have dependency issues. Am I taking on too much in short time frame?
my first post.
I have been going to lots of AA mtgs (~7 mo); not many are fulfilling.
I don't feel I belong. Seem to be a lot of "normal" people there.
Happy, social and in charge (except maybe for the alcohol)
I tend not to share so easily. Worried about criticism, staying on topic (alcohol only), not sharing properly (experience, strength & hope) I don't have the strength & hope part down yet.
I find ACA mtgs much better, but they are fewer (6 mtgs so far). I think I go to AA mostly for the company.
Was thinking of going to some al-non mtgs instead of AA. Have dependency issues. Am I taking on too much in short time frame?
to SR! I'm not in AA but I'm sure some more people will reply to your questions.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I may just be having a bout of optimism, which is really weird. I am new here , but right now its like maybe three days without the normal alcohol intake, but I do that from time to time, stop for a couple days always went back eventually, same pattern for years , just plain sick of it.
Anyway today I feel like I should do what the little voice in my head(the good one) has been saying for awhile, 'you want to change butthead?, then change!) decided to do something insane to shake it up, going to take my extremely supportive spouse to a surprise beginners dance class, stupid ?
I really want to for two reasons,one I don't know how and am not comfortable , but I wouldn't be comfortable trying an aa meeting either, and reading posts here I realize how important just doing 'things' to take time away from having opportunities to talk oneself into an excuse for' a few wouldn't hurt'. And two she would love the spontaneity of it, it is so lets try and start on another foot kinda thing, so am I stupid or what? its free, only a few hours and what if we enjoy it?
Anyway today I feel like I should do what the little voice in my head(the good one) has been saying for awhile, 'you want to change butthead?, then change!) decided to do something insane to shake it up, going to take my extremely supportive spouse to a surprise beginners dance class, stupid ?
I really want to for two reasons,one I don't know how and am not comfortable , but I wouldn't be comfortable trying an aa meeting either, and reading posts here I realize how important just doing 'things' to take time away from having opportunities to talk oneself into an excuse for' a few wouldn't hurt'. And two she would love the spontaneity of it, it is so lets try and start on another foot kinda thing, so am I stupid or what? its free, only a few hours and what if we enjoy it?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
In my opinion DW go for it! we try to get sober to get a life together without alcohol. I'd invite my wife to AA meetings also. Any meeting with an O means open to all people If it's a discussion meeting a common practice is to just say I pass, there are no expectations. In fact I usually pass so I can hear what's being said as opposed to thinking of what I'll say.
BE WELL
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
You don't have to share at meetings if you don't want to. Try just listening and then hang around after a meeting and talk with some of the folks. Sometimes people go out for coffee or a snack afterwards. Get to know people. Then as time goes on you may feel better saying something. And of course if there are several meetings, you can choose the one you feel most comfortable with.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
I enjoy AA meetings with a few reservations.
There have been criticisms over raising other addictions.
Fair enough, but often alcoholism isn't the sole problem.
I have noticed some degree of inner group socializing,but not too much.
As a general rule of thumb I am finding AA quite helpful.
There have been criticisms over raising other addictions.
Fair enough, but often alcoholism isn't the sole problem.
I have noticed some degree of inner group socializing,but not too much.
As a general rule of thumb I am finding AA quite helpful.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
The criticism got to me too. I never felt that I had any solution to offer, so I always got nailed in the meeting after the meeting.
But just keep quiet and no one will bother you. It can be tough in small meetings but generally you do not have to monitor what you say as much when there are less than 10 people there. So I spoke when the meeting was small and if there were more than 10 or so, I kept quiet.
As a wise sponsor said to me, "You're not in the program to make friends."
I hope that you have some one to talk to. Meetings are good for "experience strength and hope" but I know that for me it was more important to share weakness and fear. If I had not had people willing to listen, I would never have stayed clean.
But just keep quiet and no one will bother you. It can be tough in small meetings but generally you do not have to monitor what you say as much when there are less than 10 people there. So I spoke when the meeting was small and if there were more than 10 or so, I kept quiet.
As a wise sponsor said to me, "You're not in the program to make friends."
I hope that you have some one to talk to. Meetings are good for "experience strength and hope" but I know that for me it was more important to share weakness and fear. If I had not had people willing to listen, I would never have stayed clean.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I don't do AA or alanon ragustov but I wanted to welcome you.
do you have a sponsor?
D
do you have a sponsor?
D
I'm pretty new to ACA, but feel strongly that's where most of my recovery needs to take place. I do have some "friends" there, and a prospective sponsor.
I talk to a few other people knowledgeable in these matters, although I'm probably not aggressive enough, and sometimes feel i'm floundering and need to do more.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by ragustov
I don't feel I belong. Seem to be a lot of "normal" people there. Happy, social and in charge (except maybe for the alcohol)
Ask them how they did it.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by miamifella
The criticism got to me too. I never felt that I had any solution to offer, so I always got nailed in the meeting after the meeting.
But just keep quiet and no one will bother you. It can be tough in small meetings but generally you do not have to monitor what you say as much when there are less than 10 people there. So I spoke when the meeting was small and if there were more than 10 or so, I kept quiet.
As a wise sponsor said to me, "You're not in the program to make friends."
I hope that you have some one to talk to. Meetings are good for "experience strength and hope" but I know that for me it was more important to share weakness and fear. If I had not had people willing to listen, I would never have stayed clean.
But just keep quiet and no one will bother you. It can be tough in small meetings but generally you do not have to monitor what you say as much when there are less than 10 people there. So I spoke when the meeting was small and if there were more than 10 or so, I kept quiet.
As a wise sponsor said to me, "You're not in the program to make friends."
I hope that you have some one to talk to. Meetings are good for "experience strength and hope" but I know that for me it was more important to share weakness and fear. If I had not had people willing to listen, I would never have stayed clean.
And I do prefer the smaller mtgs.
I have a few listeners. Could use more I guess,,
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