oh no oh no
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 70
oh no oh no
So I woke up early today because today is the day I'm going to get my apartment clean again now that I'm on day 6 sober. As I'm going through my bag, I notice what looks like a cigarette that must have fallen out of the pack. Nope, that's a joint. Must have been there for a week and I forgot. ****. I've been having a real hard time accepting that I can't just quit drinking and keep smoking weed... I'm totally dependent on weed. I've tried giving it up in the past and when I do, I become a complete insomniac. I have awful nightmares, and it's just the worst feeling ever. And all I need to do is smoke a little and all that goes away. Ugh. For a while I just thought alcohol was my problem. Booze was the thing that was going to kill me if I didn't give it up. But weed I thought was harmless. I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that if I'm going to get sober, I can't do it halfway, and keep weed as a crutch. So I flushed my stash a few days ago and said "that's it, no more". And now I find this joint. And I want to smoke this **** soooo soooooo bad. Oh nooooo! And I was doing so good last night. 
I haven't smoked it yet, but I also haven't got rid it either. damn damn damn damn damn
I haven't smoked it yet, but I also haven't got rid it either. damn damn damn damn damn
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Flush it. Plain and simple. Now!
If you hang in to it, you will smoke it and then you will want more. Then when you can't find more you will drink in its place. It is a vicious circle. End the spin. Get rid of it.
If you hang in to it, you will smoke it and then you will want more. Then when you can't find more you will drink in its place. It is a vicious circle. End the spin. Get rid of it.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I'm with GracieLou, get rid of it now. Then it won't cause the disturbance.
You've already made up your mind
Now finish the job, YOU CAN DO THIS!
Edited to state that you need to realize that you took a very big step by coming on here and posting this. You were sitting on the fence about this, you just needed your backup buds to help you step in the right direction. Here we are
You've already made up your mind
I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that if I'm going to get sober, I can't do it halfway, and keep weed as a crutch
Edited to state that you need to realize that you took a very big step by coming on here and posting this. You were sitting on the fence about this, you just needed your backup buds to help you step in the right direction. Here we are
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I'd break it up and put it in the trash, our water is polluted enough with drugs....
it's stale.....
stay strong, stay stopped. that insomnia will leave you, your body just needs some readjustment...
you CAN do this!
it's stale.....
stay strong, stay stopped. that insomnia will leave you, your body just needs some readjustment...
you CAN do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 46
You said it yourself, Scary, you can't keep weed as a crutch. It's a dependency and a drug that's keeping you down. Flush it and pat yourself on the back knowing you should be extremely proud of yourself for doing so. You've come a LONG way in just 6 days, so please don't go back to the old way of going things, the old way of depending on drugs and alcohol to feel better. You'll feel better naturally over time, trust me, it'll happen. I can think of 18,000 reasons why I should be drinking this Saturday morning, one of them being that I'm alone at home all weekend with beer in my refrigerator (I'm waiting for the 1-month anniversary before I dump it; test of will), but, no, I'm going to remain sober. Why? Because I'm healthier when sober, I'm happier when sober, and I am keeping my word to myself that I would remain sober. So please don't smoke it. Get rid of it, clean your home, and carry on with your new and beautiful life!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 70
yeah i should probably feel good about this but i don't. oh well. people say this will pass, but I know I've tried not smoking weed in the past. I've gone up to a couple months without and I just never slept and it was the absolute worst time of my life. I would toss and turn and when I did sleep for an hour here and there I would have the most vivid awful nightmares I've ever experienced. the type of **** that doesn't feel better when you wake up. feelings so awful and they stick with you all day. I've had nightmares that were so bad, I honestly don't want to live if I have to feel like that again. so we'll see. I sure hope it's not that bad again, but I guess this is what I have go through if I want to be free and live without the need for booze or weed. yeah, I'm not happy. I'm just going to clean my apartment, do my laundry and go to like 3 more meetings today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,044
You did the right thing. Here are a few suggestions that may help with the insomnia:
Here are 15 things to try if you're suffering from insomnia (from an expert in insomnia, trust me on this one!) :
1. Have a relaxing bath just before you want to go to bed.
2. Change your bed linens, so you fall into fresh sheets. (This is especially effective after a bath!)
3. Meditation, meditation, meditation!
4. If you don't fall asleep instantly, don't be hard on yourself. (This makes it much worse!) Simply acknowledge that you're feeling a little restless and relax.
5. Walk around a little bit if you're feeling restless. I used to grab a blanket, go downstairs, and curl up with a book. I usually found I was ready for sleep in about 20 minutes if I really relaxed (ie. completely forgot about having sleep problems).
6. Establish a regular "going to bed" routine: mine includes no computer or screens after 8pm (excluding the occasional movie outing!), using gorgeous herbal products to wash my face, meditation, reading, breath work, and writing a gratitude list.
7. Read a short passage from something inspiring and uplifting to relax you every night. One of my favorites is Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life.
8. Rub lavender oil on wrists and neck before bed. If I'm feeling particularly restless, I'll put a few dots on my pillow, too.
9. Try not to eat too close to going to bed. You'll feel that you have to stay up later just to let your food digest.
10. Drinking too much just before bed can also unsettle you. I used to drink a big cup of chamomile tea just before bed only to find that, (you guessed it), I had to wake up to run to the bathroom. Talk about insomnia self-sabotage!
11. Try not to have any big or potentially stressful conversations before going to bed. I'm still learning with this one!
12. Make sure the temperature of your bedroom is just right, not too hot or too cold. Adjust duvets or sheets as necessary.
13. Make sure any red lights from TVs or phones are covered up. Better still, switch them off altogether!
14. Cut down on caffeine, or cut it out completely. Have it before noon if you can't resist. Chamomile tea is a great alternative.
15. Most importantly, do not think about having insomnia. Don't let your brain stay awake because you've subconsciously told it you're expecting it to!
Here are 15 things to try if you're suffering from insomnia (from an expert in insomnia, trust me on this one!) :
1. Have a relaxing bath just before you want to go to bed.
2. Change your bed linens, so you fall into fresh sheets. (This is especially effective after a bath!)
3. Meditation, meditation, meditation!
4. If you don't fall asleep instantly, don't be hard on yourself. (This makes it much worse!) Simply acknowledge that you're feeling a little restless and relax.
5. Walk around a little bit if you're feeling restless. I used to grab a blanket, go downstairs, and curl up with a book. I usually found I was ready for sleep in about 20 minutes if I really relaxed (ie. completely forgot about having sleep problems).
6. Establish a regular "going to bed" routine: mine includes no computer or screens after 8pm (excluding the occasional movie outing!), using gorgeous herbal products to wash my face, meditation, reading, breath work, and writing a gratitude list.
7. Read a short passage from something inspiring and uplifting to relax you every night. One of my favorites is Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life.
8. Rub lavender oil on wrists and neck before bed. If I'm feeling particularly restless, I'll put a few dots on my pillow, too.
9. Try not to eat too close to going to bed. You'll feel that you have to stay up later just to let your food digest.
10. Drinking too much just before bed can also unsettle you. I used to drink a big cup of chamomile tea just before bed only to find that, (you guessed it), I had to wake up to run to the bathroom. Talk about insomnia self-sabotage!
11. Try not to have any big or potentially stressful conversations before going to bed. I'm still learning with this one!
12. Make sure the temperature of your bedroom is just right, not too hot or too cold. Adjust duvets or sheets as necessary.
13. Make sure any red lights from TVs or phones are covered up. Better still, switch them off altogether!
14. Cut down on caffeine, or cut it out completely. Have it before noon if you can't resist. Chamomile tea is a great alternative.
15. Most importantly, do not think about having insomnia. Don't let your brain stay awake because you've subconsciously told it you're expecting it to!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 46
Our bodies are not meant to be addicted to alcohol and marijuana. Once addicted to those substances, sure, getting them out of our system could take time, and getting rid of the dependence could be rough, but the body WILL rid itself of those dependencies and substances. It WILL happen. In your case a few months may not be long enough, but it WILL happen. I'm not saying you're making excuses, because you're not and you're doing a damn good job, but to think you have to smoke weed the rest of your life so you don't live in this pain is not a realistic nor healthy approach. Perhaps you should seek medical attention and have a supervised process so nothing bad happens to you and so you are not in pain, but the body WILL rid itself of these dependencies and substances over time as long as YOU don't continue introducing them into your system. It could be 6 months, it could be 1 year, but it will happen...and you will be glad you persevered and stuck through the process. Your body and your family will be glad, too Please let us know how we can help, even if it's just company on here.
Please let us know how we can help, even if it's just company on here.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by yukonm 
You did the right thing. Here are a few suggestions that may help with the insomnia:
Here are 15 things to try if you're suffering from insomnia (from an expert in insomnia, trust me on this one!) :
1. Have a relaxing bath just before you want to go to bed.
2. Change your bed linens, so you fall into fresh sheets. (This is especially effective after a bath!)
3. Meditation, meditation, meditation!
4. If you don't fall asleep instantly, don't be hard on yourself. (This makes it much worse!) Simply acknowledge that you're feeling a little restless and relax.
5. Walk around a little bit if you're feeling restless. I used to grab a blanket, go downstairs, and curl up with a book. I usually found I was ready for sleep in about 20 minutes if I really relaxed (ie. completely forgot about having sleep problems).
6. Establish a regular "going to bed" routine: mine includes no computer or screens after 8pm (excluding the occasional movie outing!), using gorgeous herbal products to wash my face, meditation, reading, breath work, and writing a gratitude list.
7. Read a short passage from something inspiring and uplifting to relax you every night. One of my favorites is Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life.
8. Rub lavender oil on wrists and neck before bed. If I'm feeling particularly restless, I'll put a few dots on my pillow, too.
9. Try not to eat too close to going to bed. You'll feel that you have to stay up later just to let your food digest.
10. Drinking too much just before bed can also unsettle you. I used to drink a big cup of chamomile tea just before bed only to find that, (you guessed it), I had to wake up to run to the bathroom. Talk about insomnia self-sabotage!
11. Try not to have any big or potentially stressful conversations before going to bed. I'm still learning with this one!
12. Make sure the temperature of your bedroom is just right, not too hot or too cold. Adjust duvets or sheets as necessary.
13. Make sure any red lights from TVs or phones are covered up. Better still, switch them off altogether!
14. Cut down on caffeine, or cut it out completely. Have it before noon if you can't resist. Chamomile tea is a great alternative.
15. Most importantly, do not think about having insomnia. Don't let your brain stay awake because you've subconsciously told it you're expecting it to!
Here are 15 things to try if you're suffering from insomnia (from an expert in insomnia, trust me on this one!) :
1. Have a relaxing bath just before you want to go to bed.
2. Change your bed linens, so you fall into fresh sheets. (This is especially effective after a bath!)
3. Meditation, meditation, meditation!
4. If you don't fall asleep instantly, don't be hard on yourself. (This makes it much worse!) Simply acknowledge that you're feeling a little restless and relax.
5. Walk around a little bit if you're feeling restless. I used to grab a blanket, go downstairs, and curl up with a book. I usually found I was ready for sleep in about 20 minutes if I really relaxed (ie. completely forgot about having sleep problems).
6. Establish a regular "going to bed" routine: mine includes no computer or screens after 8pm (excluding the occasional movie outing!), using gorgeous herbal products to wash my face, meditation, reading, breath work, and writing a gratitude list.
7. Read a short passage from something inspiring and uplifting to relax you every night. One of my favorites is Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life.
8. Rub lavender oil on wrists and neck before bed. If I'm feeling particularly restless, I'll put a few dots on my pillow, too.
9. Try not to eat too close to going to bed. You'll feel that you have to stay up later just to let your food digest.
10. Drinking too much just before bed can also unsettle you. I used to drink a big cup of chamomile tea just before bed only to find that, (you guessed it), I had to wake up to run to the bathroom. Talk about insomnia self-sabotage!
11. Try not to have any big or potentially stressful conversations before going to bed. I'm still learning with this one!
12. Make sure the temperature of your bedroom is just right, not too hot or too cold. Adjust duvets or sheets as necessary.
13. Make sure any red lights from TVs or phones are covered up. Better still, switch them off altogether!
14. Cut down on caffeine, or cut it out completely. Have it before noon if you can't resist. Chamomile tea is a great alternative.
15. Most importantly, do not think about having insomnia. Don't let your brain stay awake because you've subconsciously told it you're expecting it to!
and I'll add another idea that works for me....
16. Think about a place you have been that made you happy and relaxed. In my case, I picture the view from the top of my favorite mountain in the Sierra's. I recall the many days I have spent on top of that peak and the beautiful scenery that goes on for miles and miles. Sometimes I will start the journey to the top from where I park my car and relive the hike and my reward for making it there.... which is usually some fresh fruit or favorite cookies.
17. Try Melatonin. I take 3 mg every night and it helps regulate my sleep patterns.
I want to also let you know that we are very much alike as I smoked weed and drank beer for DECADES to mask my pain. As of yesterday, I have been sober for 1 year and off the weed for about 6 1/2 months. YOU CAN conquer this addiction cycle! Feel free to PM me if you would like to take the discussion off line.
I have found great relief by working with an Osteopath, to help me with my spinal and cervical issues. I suggest that you try to find a competent one in your area and make an appt.
Good Luck and congratulations on your BIG WIN today!
Don't forget
we are always here to help!
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