Elisabeth888

A lady in my sponsorship circle is just like I was. She comes to AA drunk but thinks no one notices, keeps going out after 30 days, still keeps coming to meetings and has a sponsor, but wants to drink too!!!

My sponsor has mentioned thinking about dropping her because she keeps going out, but I voiced my opinion that she shouldn't drop her.

I know what she is doing because I did it. I wanted to WANT to stop. I want to reach out and let her know that I have been there and there is another side.

It's driving me nuts because she is so like me. I want to shake her.

awuh1

Consider talking to your sponsor about YOU becoming the woman's sponsor.

But I would not recommend shaking her, unless it's side to side during a gentile hug.

tomsteve

I found shaking people doesn't help pop heads out of buts. a crowbar works better.


since she is like you, ya may want to look back and see what it took for you. was there anything said that stuck with ya? anything that helped pop yer head outtta yer but?

omegasupreme

The great illusion of mankind is that more than one of us is here. After working with enough other alcoholics I finally started to get it. The Great Reality is in me, and you, and you and you and you. What blocks me off from that is my fears, judgements, resentments, anything to cause separate-ness. Every time, it's the same pathetic fears and judgments....just different faces.

visch1

I find that just a casual talk can open some doors if they are ajar. I think by her continuing going to meetings there is a good chance she wants sobriety, unfortunately it may be her way and how I well remember that! BE WELL

MIRecovery

I always recommend people reading working with others in the big book

Sally3127

There is a woman in my fellowship who is the same way. It breaks my heart. But she keeps coming back and I know she wants to get sober. Unfortunately no one really wants to sponsor her because she keeps going out. I just keep,praying for her. In my fellowship we aren't allowed to sponsor until we have at least 1 year sobriety and I've only got 6 months.

thekl0wn

As Sally said, you may not be able to sponsor her... However, that doesn't stop you from talking to her! Discuss it with your sponsor, and see if you can arrange a short meeting. I'm only 48 days in, and my sponsor has me talking to the guys that are in their 1st/2nd steps. I was scared I would mess up those people in the beginning, but I found it to be very rewarding... There's something to be said about a one-on-one meeting with someone where you simply share what it took for you to quit. Met with a guy on Wednesday that I was somewhat afraid of... Not that I'd get beat up, but rather that this guy isn't only an alcoholic, but also has a DOC of meth. Our backgrounds are hugely different. We wound up talking for nearly an hour, and as it turns out, despite being so different, we shared a lot in common.

It was rewarding for me to just be able to help. If nothing else, to be an ear to listen.

MIRecovery

I would be very careful of sponsoring a person like this because they can take you down with them. Half measures availed us nothing. When we do half of AA we don't get half sober we just stay drunk.

LadyBlue0527

Yessirree, one of the three times previous that I had tried to get sober I used an online SMART Recovery group. Just so happens one of the other people saw that I was from the same state and she contacted me. We had great chats. Where do you think that led to next?

I sincerely think that no one can be of better support to an alcoholic trying to get sober than another alcoholic doing the same if both are determined.

However, put two alcoholics together where one is determined and the other is not and it's a disaster waiting to happen. If you think that your own AV is bad, try listening to someone verbalize to you outwardly "but we'll only have a few". That's a hard thing to walk away from. I would NEVER put myself in that situation this time.

Be careful if you take up with this woman!