Nature Vs. Nurture Theory and other thoughts
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
I'm firmly in the "not sure" category. Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics and died as a direct result of their drinking. Neither of my parents are alcoholics and have always been able to drink normally. My sister is not an alcoholic, I am. I firmly believe that I was born with the "ism" of alcoholism, but I was also born with a heart defect that made me "different" than others. I think that feeling of not fitting in along with the "ism" already being in place is what led to me becoming an alcoholic. Take away the heart defect and maybe I don't grow up feeling different with low self-esteem and feeling inferior to others and things might have been different?
I also believe that once I put a drink into my body it does something to me that normal people don't experience. I think most normal drinkers feel like they are less in control of themselves after a few drinks...the opposite happens to me. Even though alcohol is a depressant I feel more energized after a few drinks and want MORE. For me I believe it was a nature AND nurture thing and not a "vs" thing.
I also believe that once I put a drink into my body it does something to me that normal people don't experience. I think most normal drinkers feel like they are less in control of themselves after a few drinks...the opposite happens to me. Even though alcohol is a depressant I feel more energized after a few drinks and want MORE. For me I believe it was a nature AND nurture thing and not a "vs" thing.
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Mizzuno 
Interesting thoughts. When I choose to reflect, I see that my own biological parents used substances in various degrees to escape the life they were living. My bio-father would drown himself in whiskey because of his emotional pain, and my bio-mother was using meth (to get high) and to also run from her childhood, her mother, her children, her everything. Only now do I see, and I am only speculating, that she has co-morbid disorders that are being masked with drugs.
Jennie has stated that even though it was ingrained into her to not use, she found herself using. I am in the same boat, and told myself that I would never be like my mother, or my father. There are so many things at play in all of this. So, I guess I am realizing, other than being an alcoholic, that on a deeper subconscious level I am acting in ways that I was taught to act. This can be rectified by the determination that I have to make my life the best possible life. I am not making excuses here, and this is not set in stone. I am thinking about ingrained ideas, or messages that I received.
I have to go back to the idea that Nurture played into my development as an adult. I was a very sensitive child, and my mothers rejection broke my heart. She was the first person that I truly loved in the world. This rejection set the stage for a lot of running. I ran from place to place seeking solace. Now, being that I am older, and I am my own parent. I am taking great strides to heal the inner child. Nurture, or lack of nurture played a huge role. Human experiences are so complex.
I must put on the table that I am completely responsible for all my decisions as an adult. There is no victimization involved. I would still most likely be an alcoholic regardless of the lack of nurture. I think that lack of Nurture caused many troubles, and I sense that my emotional growth has been stunted. Im working on it.
Jennie has stated that even though it was ingrained into her to not use, she found herself using. I am in the same boat, and told myself that I would never be like my mother, or my father. There are so many things at play in all of this. So, I guess I am realizing, other than being an alcoholic, that on a deeper subconscious level I am acting in ways that I was taught to act. This can be rectified by the determination that I have to make my life the best possible life. I am not making excuses here, and this is not set in stone. I am thinking about ingrained ideas, or messages that I received.
I have to go back to the idea that Nurture played into my development as an adult. I was a very sensitive child, and my mothers rejection broke my heart. She was the first person that I truly loved in the world. This rejection set the stage for a lot of running. I ran from place to place seeking solace. Now, being that I am older, and I am my own parent. I am taking great strides to heal the inner child. Nurture, or lack of nurture played a huge role. Human experiences are so complex.
I must put on the table that I am completely responsible for all my decisions as an adult. There is no victimization involved. I would still most likely be an alcoholic regardless of the lack of nurture. I think that lack of Nurture caused many troubles, and I sense that my emotional growth has been stunted. Im working on it.
At the same time, unconsciously, I was being taught by both parents that escape is the only coping method, adoptive dad through alcohol, adoptive mother through emotional coldness, denial, heavy cigarette addiction and codpendence.
I guess this is one thing that makes it all so complex. And I guess part of what feeds into my own struggle with ambivalence in my addiction. I was raised in ambivalence and have certainly lived it in almost every area of my life.
I empathize with your feelings of abandonment by your mother. I have that too, with two mothers, bio and adoptive. It's probably my deepest wound and the foundation of so many other issues. I figure I will always be doing healing work around this.
I struggle with the victim thinking, too, but very much agree that I am responsible for my decisions. It is in taking back this responsibility that the power and ability to change comes forth, imo.
Thanks again for this great thread. So much to think about!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Grungehead
For me I believe it was a nature AND nurture thing and not a "vs" thing.
Good thinking!
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Grungehead
I also believe that once I put a drink into my body it does something to me that normal people don't experience. I think most normal drinkers feel like they are less in control of themselves after a few drinks...the opposite happens to me. Even though alcohol is a depressant I feel more energized after a few drinks and want MORE.
My latest, and worst, addiction has been to opiates. Most non-addicts I know find they get heavily sedated, knocked out while taking them medically. For me, the first time I tried it, which was only to test the high, I loved it. I felt a high like no other. When I used opiates again years later for true physical pain, I felt totally energized and clearheaded. I felt more in control because I could control my pain. That was why I wanted to continue to use them. And, of course, over time that changed and turned into a heavy addiction.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
For me I give more weight to nurture. While I got the alcoholic gene, I think overall I would be a much more successful alcoholic had I grown up in a healthier living environment. My family really pulled a number on me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
