DeborahJO

Thanks PeteCrab

Dee74

Welcome DeborahJO

As impossible as it may seem to you and others right now, I never dream of or crave alcohol anymore.

We really can turn our lives around and make ourselves better

Change really is possible

D

Hevyn

Hi DeborahJO - I'm so glad you're here & taking action.

I agree with Dee - I never thought it would happen, but alcohol never crosses my mind now. I once lived for it and was sure life would seem dull and empty without my 'buffer'. I was making everything much harder on myself by chasing that euphoric feeling drinking once gave me. In the end it just sent my anxiety and impatience through the roof. You can do this and have a happier life!

silentrun

Charlotte's Web

Junegirl

Hi DeborahJO,

Welcome! I'm kind of new here too and almost three weeks alcohol-free. The first week or so was difficult because of panic/anxiety feelings and just me trying not to be ambivalent about quitting. Being on SR and reading about other drinking moms has helped me a lot. I hope it will help you too.
You mentioned being short-tempered. I definitely think that's alcohol-related. I know that I'm now feeling much, much more relaxed and cheerful and my anxiety is completely gone already! Things are certainly not perfect, but having a better attitude because I'm sober does make such a difference in parenting my daughter.
I know we can do this and be better mothers to our children!

By the way, a few things that helped me the first few weeks:

1. My favorite iced tea in the refrigerator all the time. If I had a craving, rather than running out to the liquor store I poured myself glass after of iced tea. (I make my own from hibiscuis flowers and a little brown sugar-delish!)

2. Calling my mom or my daughter just to chat whenever I drive past my fave liquor stores/restaurants on the way home from work. (I use speakerphone) Thinking about quitting for them as well as for me kept me stronger.

3. Lots of reading and posting here on SR and doing SMART recovery tools. Other people have had success with other methods, so whatever method works...

4. Distraction, distraction, distraction. My daughter and I have been reading and going to movies, going for walks, etc...

5. When I want to "reward myself", I get myself a little trat and savor it, or nail polish, lipstick, whatever, instead of alcohol.

Hope that helps.

pinkgate

Hi DeborahJo, It was the severe irritability that I had never had before that was one of decision points for me to quit.

I would have just brought in the glass during bedtime stories. And either way, whether there with glass or rushing through without, it's not quality time for the kids, so one is not better than the other.

I'm glad you're taking this step. I drank somewhat less than you and it was still a problem. There are lots of helpful resources here for you. SR helped me understand my addiction better and know what to expect when I quit. There are other ways to relax, unwind, and actuall reward yourself in a positive way. I am so much happier now, even if my life and I are not perfect

Change4good

Glad to have you with us! Like Hevyn, alcohol ceased to give me that high towards the end. Just massive anxiety. While it *stopped* working, I had MANY relapses, lots of Day 1s. I am the mom of two small kids, and realized just what I was missing out on.

Welcome again.

Nighthawk8820

Hey there,
Well the best thing you have now is your own desire to change. Your addiction causes a cycle, which you are currently fully wrapped up in. You drink, you get moody, you drink, you get anxiety, then you drink again, and now you feel crappy and have no confidence or joy. See how that works? We have all been there, lord knows. You can change all of this, and its a wonderful time to do it as your kids are young enough that you are still able to change and be a fully attentive, happy mom. Sobriety effects everything and things just seem to get better. You wont be as moody or angry, which will most likely help you with all your personal relationships, including the one you have with your partner. Its a much better life, I can attest to that. So what do you plan on doing to get sober? Making a plan is what I would suggest doing now.

AlexaDaly

I am amazed but somehow not surprised at how many women and mothers in particular are addicted to alcohol. I'm so glad so many of us are on this site supporting each other. I was sitting here just nodding my head to everything you wrote! I have 3 teenagers, one with cerebral palsy, work full time as an ultrasound technologist in breast cancer imaging, very stressful. I would come home from work and head straight for the wine bottle, drink an entire bottle a night plus maybe one or two vodka drinks. Go to work with a headache every single day. On Saturday I would wake up and look at the clock and start planning how soon I could start drinking. Tried moderating over and over and over, never worked once, DOES NOT WORK, period. Could not imagine my life without alcohol. A friend recommended Craig Beck's book "Alcohol Lied to Me", a method for quitting drinking and it completely changed my life. I also listen to the audio hypnosis tracks from the same guy that I got on Audible.com. You can do this! Coming here every day to read and post messages has been ESSENTIAL to my staying sober! Come here often! You can do this! I'm so proud of you for how far you've come already! It does get easier!

ippochick

welcome, deborah.

i'm mum to a 13 year old girl. towards the end of my drinking she was witness to some horrible scenes, even once hiding my car keys so i couldn't drive her to her friend's house, drunk.

i am 20 days sober and i will do everything in my power to repair the damage i've done.

you are not alone in this.

WhiteFeathers

Yes, this, Alexa. Just this morning, I was so ready to pour myself one... Being a mom sucks so bad sometimes. I know we're supposed to say we love it and it's the best job ever (and a lot of times it is, I truly love my kids) but it's just hard and crappy sometimes.

My daughter is 7 and my son is 5 and all day long they fight, fight, fight, fight, fight... "that's mine, no it's not, I was using it first, give it back, stop it, no you stop it, OUCH, mom!!!!" All. day. long. It's like somebody putting a putting a screwdriver to my eyeballs. Pure torture.

Wine, please. Somebody needs to get mommy a cocktail.

But here is what I'm counting on. If I can get to a place of real serenity (at least for a few minutes a day), if I can build up my strength and my calm and my patience and reserve... maybe they will too??? Who knows. All I know is that drunk, angry mom isn't the solution.

I want to be calm, boddishattva mom with healthy snacks and valuable wisdom (a girl can dream...)