Itsmytime1234

Going out to dinner with a bunch of girl friends.... Y do I have a feeling ill be the lame-0 not drinking . I mean I know I'm not going to drink. But y do I feel like now my nights ruined or I'm guna look like a loser! God I've put alcohol on such a pedestal what the hell is wrong with me! They probably won't even care...

LadyBlue0527

If they are real friends they won't care. You can do this and you're not lame!

Dee74

Thats your inner addict, your AV, your negative self, your addiction - whatever you want to call it - talking.

Maybe you need to separate that from the real essential you, itsmytime?

D

DisplacedGRITS

Alcohol didn't make me funny or fun. It lowered my inhibitions and made me "comfortable" enough to let loose a little. The problem is, my addiction kicked in and i went from being comfortable to a total loss of control. I didn't know right from wrong and i acted the fool. Alcohol took all of my common sense. So what to do? For me, i remember that alcohol didn't give me any positive qualities. What it did, for a short amount of time, was made me comfortable being social. Now, i am learning to let that Lisa out without booze. She's in there and people like her. I try to not over complicate things or dwell on all my little faults. Instead, i focus on what's good about me. I try to be a good listener and i don't try to be everything to everyone. I just try to be me and be secure in the knowledge that that is the person people want to be around. Not the drunk girl who can't even see straight.

I don't think you'll be a party pooper as long as you go out with the goal of having a good social time. This isn't a test of how fun you can be without alcohol. It's just a night out with the girls. Believe me, they'll prefer a sober you to a you they have to pick up off the ground!

Invictus19

I have a hard time with this too. I am not looking forward to telling friends and family of my decision. I know I make a bigger deal out of it than have to, but I am not a natural sharer of feelings with anyone but my wife, brother and mother.

Like LadyBlue said if they are real friends they will support you. If they pressure you or make you feel bad about it than maybe you need to stay away from them. At least for a little while. Maybe forever. Your sobriety needs to be protected.

You can't live your life for anyone else. You are not a loser. You are courageous. It takes guts to face this beast and choose a better life.

Best of luck. Let us know how it goes!

Bebetter

I feel the same way you do. I don't relax and feel fun until I have a drink in me. All my friends drink and party together, but 1 girlfriend did get sober 9 months ago and we all think it's great, we never said anything about it except "Awesome!" as we continued to gulp our wine. I hope your friends do the same for you tonight. The first time will feel weird, I know. Weird and uncomfortable, but your head seems to be in the right place! I'm going to be in your shoes soon enough, too. I've already told my neighbors that I'm not going to be drinking at the big fourth of july party, because I don't want the awkward questions then (which I've experienced during sober times in my past), like "Why aren't you drinking?" "Are you pregnant?" I just told them I've gotten drunk too much lately and it's not working for me anymore. End of story.

Nighthawk8820

You may just end up surprising yourself. Gotta change that attitude a bit though. Remember why you are doing this, why you chose to get sober.

Mizzuno

Go have fun. Your not lame. I get the feeling though. No one will care if your not drinking. If they do care that is their problem, and I would not put any thoughts into it. You can do this!

Itsmytime1234

Hey guys! Just got home! Guess what? I actually had a great night!! Ya know I usually have anxiety before I go out and I can't wait to slug back a drink , but for some reason I didn't tonight. I think it's because I knew there would be no surprises . I'm completely in control when I'm not drinking. That is a beautiful feeling . And my girlfriends hardly noticed it was awesome . I know not every time will be so simple but at least I know it's possible to got out and not drink and still have fun and not feel like everyone's starring at me

DisplacedGRITS

it sure is possible to have fun sober! and you don't have to worry about making apologetic phone calls the next day because you did something drunk you wouldn't normally do sober. i'm so happy you had a good time!

Maribell

That so awsome way to go.. I know how hard it is,, all and i mean all of my friends drink,,and when i go they are like why arent you drinking ? ,some have real problems to , but choose to ignore it..unfortunately.. maybe one day they will come around,,

It is a real eye opener for me, to see how people change the more they drink,, its not pretty.

And to think i was probally ten times worse

good job !

fantail

Yay congratulations! That for me has been one of the most meaningful and wonderful things about getting sober... learning that I can have a great time without any chemical aid. I'm so glad you had a great time. Sounds like you have a good group of friends.

FreeFall

I worked at a college bar when I was younger and I always remember an incident with one of the much younger waitresses. She was a really pretty girl, popular with the guys, but also with the girls. Very fun and outgoing. The waitresses were all talking about the best cocktails, shots, etc. She calmly waved her drink and said "THIS is the best drink" and when they asked what it was it was ice water with lemon. I had so much respect for her to be able to fit in and have a great time without following the crowd and getting hammered. She didn't preach either, but she clearly believed she was doing the best thing for herself.

That little scene has helped me when I'm out and the only one not drinking, maybe it will help others as well.

Glad you were able to have fun with your friends!!

360shoes

That's wonderful ItsMyTime!
You can now say that you know for a fact that you are awesome just by you being you! You experienced it. You did it!

So now if anything pops in your head that tells you that you are not enough, you just tell it to shove off. You now know it's a lie.

I'm happy you had a great time just being you!

Nuudawn

Thrilled for you!!! Was so glad when I reached the point in your thread where you followed up with what a great night you had. Made my day to read it. I'm having these sorts of discoveries myself...how much I am appreciating things/events/social times..just being me..there...fully present. It's wonderful.

NevarCiots

Glad you had fun! Drinking Sprite or soda is more fun than beer or shots.

I drink alot of flavored water, oj and milk these days. Soda can be our cheating days

Or not. 7up is a supposed "natural flavors" soda LOL.

Your friends sound cool just from this post. Keep up the no drinking attitude. Bored of things? Try to quit drinking. Now, watch life get interesting ^^

sickntired78

Coke Zero is now my vice! No calories, and it has caffeine. I actually like the taste more than regular soda. Try it out! Anytime I want alcohol, I reach for one of those.