how many times did it take you to stay sober
how many times did it take you to stay sober
The road to sobriety is indeed a slippery slope. When someone slips (including me) it's inevitable that we beat ourselves up, lose some hope, wallow around in self pity.. "why is this so hard? ", "how come other people can do it and I can't?"
I was wondering.. for all of the folks who have stayed sober for a year or more.. how many times did it take them?
I highly doubt there are many people that just woke up one day and said.. that's it, no more drinking and they did it without faltering.
Feeling bad after a slip is normal, and I'm not sure there is anyway we can NOT feel bad.
I was just thinking that if I had a nickel for every time someone slipped I'd be very wealthy.. and I'd give it all to SR!
I was wondering.. for all of the folks who have stayed sober for a year or more.. how many times did it take them?
I highly doubt there are many people that just woke up one day and said.. that's it, no more drinking and they did it without faltering.
Feeling bad after a slip is normal, and I'm not sure there is anyway we can NOT feel bad.
I was just thinking that if I had a nickel for every time someone slipped I'd be very wealthy.. and I'd give it all to SR!
I did... I woke up one day and said "this is it" and did it. First try.
It can be done! I'll be 390 days sober tomorrow.
Granted, I had thought about it for awhile, and I knew when I made the choice there would be no going back.
It can be done! I'll be 390 days sober tomorrow.
Granted, I had thought about it for awhile, and I knew when I made the choice there would be no going back.
Congratulations! That's awesome. I feel a bit like the girl who cried wolf. I've said plenty of times that I was going to stop drinking, but this was the first time that I am doing it for me and it's been a week today.
I highly doubt there are many people that just woke up one day and said.. that's it, no more drinking and they did it without faltering.
I think when you make the decision it really can be like that - 'thats it no more I'm done'...
but it's the getting there that's often the work.
D
The first time I quit for around three months or so. Thought I could moderate and did well at that......for a few weeks. At the end I was drinking every day, all day. A few weeks of that put me in the hospital for two weeks. The wonderful doctor who saved me told me I would die if I ever drank again.
I believe him. I have not had a drink since. Sober since 6/15/2005.
So, twice. I have stopped drinking twice.
I believe him. I have not had a drink since. Sober since 6/15/2005.
So, twice. I have stopped drinking twice.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
Two false starts before this third good one. Just realized though that today is actually my 11 month mark... so please do not read this for another thirty days.
While I never consider relapses a good thing, there is some level of comfort knowing it takes some of us a few tries. If nothing else, it is a reminder that there is always hope and we should never give up!
While I never consider relapses a good thing, there is some level of comfort knowing it takes some of us a few tries. If nothing else, it is a reminder that there is always hope and we should never give up!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Three times. And lots of little starts and stops thrown in there, along with some odd diets and some obsessive exercise. I tried all sorts of ways to trick myself into sobriety.
First attempt at sobriety was around age 26. I'm now 36. Lost my mother and grandmother during that ten year period. I used drinking as an excuse to not deal.
Finally I had enough. I saw I'd continue to drink my life away unless I wised up. Longest stretch sober was just over a year.
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First attempt at sobriety was around age 26. I'm now 36. Lost my mother and grandmother during that ten year period. I used drinking as an excuse to not deal.
Finally I had enough. I saw I'd continue to drink my life away unless I wised up. Longest stretch sober was just over a year.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
I had a few attempts during which I said, "OK, I will try not to drink..." These did not work. One day I realized that the "trying" had to be over and it was time to do it: just simply stop, period. Walk away and leave it all behind, whatever it takes: no excuses, no faltering, no BS ... Once I crossed that threshold I knew I could do it.
So I agree with Dee's comment that it depends on how you want to look at it. For me there was a difference between half-hearted and deadly serious, and I knew the difference when I got to the latter.
So I agree with Dee's comment that it depends on how you want to look at it. For me there was a difference between half-hearted and deadly serious, and I knew the difference when I got to the latter.
I knew I was DONE before I quit too. I never, ever tried to stop drinking. I played mind games with myself to "control" my 'problem'. This was in regards to how much I'd be able to drink everyday. The only time I quit was when I was pregnant with our son, he's 22 in September. I was so fearful before going into de-tox, then Rehab. OH, the physical relief, my whole being just exhaling....my secret was out...I am an alcoholic. My gratitude began right there in de-tox. I 'm not clear on how to describe this experience, joy, re-birth, myself coming to the top again. I trusted in something and went into sobriety/recovery full on. I LOVE MY LIFE TODAY. One Day At A Time. :-D. Bobbi
I joined SR in March of last year...but I wasn't quite committed in the early days, I had a couple of nights when I had a glass or 2, I think I was a bit scared of stopping completely. I had all those thoughts of 'its impossible', 'what will my life be like sober?' 'I won't get past a Friday night' ' I won't cope with stress' etc etc
I decided to give it a go at the beginning of April and really did it all, I posted on here every day, I joined AA and threw myself into recovery, I read lots of literature, but I struggled because I was sober amongst other drinkers...my husband drank. My family drank. My friends drank.
I relapsed at the end of May and it was a dreadful 24 hours of blackout drinking. I was a total wreck. Everything seemed to be broken, my marriage was on the brink of collapse. But as awful as it was, that night proved to me that I could never ever drink again. It just wasn't possible for me to drink normally. I have no off switch, and I was so close to losing everything in my life that I loved.
So I made huge changes. I stepped up my AA meetings, got a sponsor and started working the steps.... I detached myself from my birth family as there were so many issues with alcoholism and codependency that kept me trapped in unhealthy patterns of behaviour... I dropped those friends who wouldnt or couldnt support my decision to quit...my husband quit drinking with me and we have built a whole new stronger and real relationship.
In short, I wanted sobriety more than anything and worked hard to get it.
I'm now 13 months sober. It hasn't been smooth sailing. But I couldn't begin to explain how much better my life is now. It really is worth all the hard work, I promise x
I decided to give it a go at the beginning of April and really did it all, I posted on here every day, I joined AA and threw myself into recovery, I read lots of literature, but I struggled because I was sober amongst other drinkers...my husband drank. My family drank. My friends drank.
I relapsed at the end of May and it was a dreadful 24 hours of blackout drinking. I was a total wreck. Everything seemed to be broken, my marriage was on the brink of collapse. But as awful as it was, that night proved to me that I could never ever drink again. It just wasn't possible for me to drink normally. I have no off switch, and I was so close to losing everything in my life that I loved.
So I made huge changes. I stepped up my AA meetings, got a sponsor and started working the steps.... I detached myself from my birth family as there were so many issues with alcoholism and codependency that kept me trapped in unhealthy patterns of behaviour... I dropped those friends who wouldnt or couldnt support my decision to quit...my husband quit drinking with me and we have built a whole new stronger and real relationship.
In short, I wanted sobriety more than anything and worked hard to get it.
I'm now 13 months sober. It hasn't been smooth sailing. But I couldn't begin to explain how much better my life is now. It really is worth all the hard work, I promise x
I highly doubt there are many people that just woke up one day and said.. that's it, no more drinking and they did it without faltering.
I'm sure if you asked me if I would ever drink again at 5 years sober I would have answered no. It just proves that this is a lifelong disease and NO ONE is immune from relapsing regardless of how long they have been sober. In order to stay sober for a lifetime to have to die without a drink in your hand. If you are sober today give yourself a hand.
BTW my post was not meant to discourage anyone. I'm just sharing my experience so hopefully others can avoid my mistakes. I became complacent, I didn't keep recovery in my life, I ran into a major life crisis both times, and I drank both times. My AV was dormant but he was just waiting for the right opportunity. I almost lost my life this last time. Alcoholism is a lifelong disease (or illness, mental weakness, whatever you prefer to call it), and you have to treat it for life. That has been my experience anyway, I'm sure there are others that have different experiences to the contrary.
I had 7 to 11 years where i knew i should give up and i tried a bit but couldn't do it .
To be honest though in my heart of hearts i still wanted to drink during that time and any thoughts of NEVER having another drink terrified me .
When i gave up on the 3rd of sept 2011 the thought of HAVING another drink terrified me .
Part of what keeps my sobriety strong is keeping that terror alive
Bestwishes, M
To be honest though in my heart of hearts i still wanted to drink during that time and any thoughts of NEVER having another drink terrified me .
When i gave up on the 3rd of sept 2011 the thought of HAVING another drink terrified me .
Part of what keeps my sobriety strong is keeping that terror alive
Bestwishes, M
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 65
I never wanted to give up drinking and it was only untill I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, that I became reluctantly willing to try it someone elses way, my way never worked, I had to accept I was beaten, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
More times than I could possibly remember. I'd had so many starts crash in the course of a week, two weeks. I definitely didn't hit it on the first try.
If anyone is a chronic slipper, don't give up on yourself! I've crashed a hundred times out the gate, but by the grace of God I'll have 3 years this fall.
If anyone is a chronic slipper, don't give up on yourself! I've crashed a hundred times out the gate, but by the grace of God I'll have 3 years this fall.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 145
That's how I did it with smoking like 10 years ago. I didn't want to be one of those people that quit smoking every 2 weeks. I felt the same about alcohol, but it's been much harder for me.
1,259,374 times.... well maybe not that much. But many many time. If you were to go back and read what I posted a year back, or maybe 2 you will see how many time I faultered and how delusional I was.
Last year I decided I needed to stop. To survive my childrens lives and be a mother. Then.............. After a month......... I found out I was pregnant. So staying sober at that point was all I COULD do. Now he (baby) is 4 months and I am still truckin' on. I actually have this weird creepy hate against alcohol. But it took SO much to get here.
If I hadnt decided to stop, I don't think I would have ever had my youngest son and I may not be here at all. Many failures came before this and I have a year now in July.
Last year I decided I needed to stop. To survive my childrens lives and be a mother. Then.............. After a month......... I found out I was pregnant. So staying sober at that point was all I COULD do. Now he (baby) is 4 months and I am still truckin' on. I actually have this weird creepy hate against alcohol. But it took SO much to get here.
If I hadnt decided to stop, I don't think I would have ever had my youngest son and I may not be here at all. Many failures came before this and I have a year now in July.
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