Overthehorizon

Today is Day #1 for me. It's not too bad, but I know the days ahead won't be as easy. Just wondering what it's like for everyone else and what they do to prepare for the rockiness.

Dee74

Hi overthehorizon

I think it varies, but the first week was always rough for me.

Support helps - there's a lot of it here....plug yourself in, read around, post as much as you like

Really glad you found us

D

ScottFromWI

Hi OTH. I'd agree with Dee, the first week was no fun at all. The great thing is if you do things right, you won't ever have to do this again! Be safe and seek help if you need it.

Overthehorizon

Thank you Dee and ScottfromWI. IYO, how do you do things right? I am so new to this. I am not into AA (religion-based sobriety programs), and have had a very hard time opening up for so long. Not so sure how to do all this.

Nighthawk8820

It varies. For me, I enjoy being sober, so I will take the bad days any day over my "bad" drinking days. Life has bad days, but in recovery, you can learn to face them with confidence and in a healthy way. Welcome, and god bless!

mecanix

Hello overthehorizon,
For me accepting there would be horrible stinky days was an important thing , knowing that they are only temporary .
Perseverance despite how i felt , then trusting my fellow people in recovery when they say that things do get better and it's worthwhile being sober .

Bestwishes, M

GracieLou

The first thing I had to do is admit I was an alcoholic. Then I had to want help and accept that help. Reaching out is hard but accepting that help is a whole different ball of wax. At least for me. It was a matter of trust for me. I did not trust anyone, other then me and I had come to a point that I had to accept the fact that first, I did not know everything and what I had been doing was not working and it never had. Then I had to let others that did know more than me guide me.

I called AA. They sent a lady out to get me and take me to a meeting. I have been going ever since. It is not religion based. It is a 12 step program that is spiritually based. To believe in a higher power greater than ourselves. Some call it God while others believe it is the energy of the universe and even others believe it is mother earth. It does not matter what someone decides their higher power is, just that there is a possibility it exists.

For me it was letting go of the thought that I and I alone controlled everything. I play a part. I go to meetings and I do the step work but I rely or lean on something bigger than I am. For some the AA fellowship is there higher power.

It is also the process of letting go of old ideas about drinking, explanations of why I drink and the letting go of resentments. For me resentments are the largest issue I have.

For me holding on to these has been my biggest reason to drink and stay there but I am also an alcoholic. I am not one having some old mommy issues and drank on it for a couple months or a year. Once I have one drink the craving to have more starts and does not stop. It has always been this way. I have drank like this, except for a few interruptions, for 26 years.

It has grown over the years. It is progressive. What would have been enough for a week, even though there never seemed to be enough, 20 years ago would not have been enough for one day at the end. I was always chasing the drunk. Looking for that buzz I could no longer accomplish.

So I go to AA. I go to 5 meetings a week and I have a sponsor. I work with my sponsor. She is my mentor and my guide but she has also become my friend. She explains things I do not understand and I can lean on her when I feel I want to hide again. When my emotions get on the roller coaster I call her. I also come on here. Sometimes I post, sometimes I just read. Both help a great deal. I also go to meeting and being around others that are also alcoholics and understand is a big help. I have almost three months sobriety. I feel free. The prison I was in is gone.

Not everyone uses AA as their sobriety plan. There are many options. You will find out the one that helps you the best, the one you understand and accept as your plan. I am only telling you what works for me.

All plans give us tools to show us what the right is or how to handle our feelings and situations.

Michael66

Hi Overthehorizon

For months 2-3 were the hardest. The initial flush of enthusiasm for sobriety was over and I wasn't feeling any better than when I was drinking (in fact I was feeling more miserable and I wasn't sleeping at all well). From about 3 months onwards I could tell I was steadily but slowly feeling better and happier and it became easier again then.

As for what kept me going - well, for me I would say two main things. The first was a real acceptance, deep down, when I chose sobriety that this was to be a decision for life. Though I lived, and live, sobriety one day at a time I had an inner deep conviction that I had made a choice for life. As a sign of that commitment I signed a one-year pledge soon into sobriety, and at one year signed a lifetime pledge. The second main help was that I prayed a lot, including sharing in the morning, evening and night prayers of our Church. That regular daily rhythm of prayer helped me a lot.

I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but in our scriptures St. Paul says "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body, which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions" (Colossians 1:24). In our Church we believe that Paul is saying that our Lord leaves room in his own Passion for us to join with Him, in a very small sense, on the cross. There is no doubt this has helped me on tough days as I can "offer up" the struggles and suffering, as minor as these are compared with many in the world, and compared with our Lord's own suffering. You can also look at it from the other way around: The theologian Jürgen Moltmann, who was struggling to understand where God was in the World War II saw one aspect of Christ on the cross as Christ uniting Himself with the suffering in the world. So in suffering we have, in a sense, a special communion with Christ. That also helped and helps me.

So for me it has in essence been commitment very much supported by faith. But I know other people have walked other sober paths, so I don't present this as the one and only way to content sober living.

Well done on day #1: It can be one of the very best decisions you've ever made.

God bless +

GreenEggsAndHam

The hardest day so far was the day I walked into my first AA meeting. SO glad I did!

Congrats on day one - keep going, you are worth it!

trikyriky

Friday - Monday , any days when I have money . Got to get by this one . My AV has been able to convince my more rational self for too long. I think I will sit on my hands

Dejvice

Rocky roads or times? I just remember when my son called me an alcoholic...an he is only a kid. About a month after he said it to me I stopped.

Threshold

Best thing I did was to keep working my recovery. Accept that life, everyone's life includes some not so good days, and that they are NOT a sign of failure or a reason to give up, and keep working my program. Then, when a not so great day comes along...I have some new ideas and behaviors to try out.

Overanticipating trouble wasn't a good thing for me, because it kept me balancing on the edge of potential disaster. I had to let go and commit to enjoying the scenery and paddling when a rapid came along.

It really does boil down to one thing, over and over. Reality. Dealing with reality as it comes. AND accepting that reality isn't always a bad thing. When in active addiction 75% of the delusions and fantasies I lived under were bad things. Reality is better than the insanity I was living under.

Keeping it real is what keeps me sane.

ScottFromWI

That all depends on the person I think. For me I finally just realized that not drinking was better for me than drinking, and I'm moving forward to change my life as such. There is no magic pill or formula.

You don't need to use AA, there are plenty of other recovery methods out there. I personally use SR as my main support, but that's just what works for me. Don't rule out AA because of religion, because it is possible to participate and even do all the steps without following a religion as such.