Time to stop...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 30
Time to stop...
Hi all,
I've signed up to this forum as I'm hesitant to attend AA meetings, but still feel as though I need support to stop drinking.
I've just today come off a three-day bender of getting completely ********* and making a spectacle of myself in front of my partner, his relatives, and some friends of ours. I was pretty much told this morning that if I didn't change my ways, my relationship was going to be over.
I've kidded myself into thinking I'll stop before, but really deep down had no intention to do so. But now I'm really over it. I'm sick of having to wake up in the morning and apologise to someone (or multiple people) for my embarrassing behaviour the night before. That is, if I can even remember what happened the previous night...
I don't drink every single day so I don't feel as though I'm physically dependent on the drink. But it's that when I do, I lose the ability to control how much alcohol I'm consuming. One glass of wine goes to two bottles and pretty soon I'm trying to down everything in sight with an alcohol percentage. I've fooled myself into pretending my behaviour is normal for long enough.
Thanks for taking the time to read this - it is nice to vent!
I've signed up to this forum as I'm hesitant to attend AA meetings, but still feel as though I need support to stop drinking.
I've just today come off a three-day bender of getting completely ********* and making a spectacle of myself in front of my partner, his relatives, and some friends of ours. I was pretty much told this morning that if I didn't change my ways, my relationship was going to be over.
I've kidded myself into thinking I'll stop before, but really deep down had no intention to do so. But now I'm really over it. I'm sick of having to wake up in the morning and apologise to someone (or multiple people) for my embarrassing behaviour the night before. That is, if I can even remember what happened the previous night...
I don't drink every single day so I don't feel as though I'm physically dependent on the drink. But it's that when I do, I lose the ability to control how much alcohol I'm consuming. One glass of wine goes to two bottles and pretty soon I'm trying to down everything in sight with an alcohol percentage. I've fooled myself into pretending my behaviour is normal for long enough.
Thanks for taking the time to read this - it is nice to vent!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 55
Hello, and welcome. I've recently stopped drinking myself for the same reason. It's not a big deal for me to go for days without drinking, but once I start, I don't stop until I run out of money or alcohol or I throw up and pass out.
I haven't attended AA either.
Checking in every day has helped me so far.
I haven't attended AA either.
Checking in every day has helped me so far.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Hi and welcome to SR.
I was an everyday drinker, when I drank I drank until I was drunk or passed out. My sole purpose was to get home and drink. There was no such thing as one or two for me. Never had been. Once I had one there was no desire to stop. If I did have to control it for any reason I was stressed out. I wanted to get out of that situation and get home so I could drink as many as I wanted.
I did not have any bad physical withdrawal symptoms. In fact my desire to drink is gone but for me it was the mental withdrawal. I was leaving behind my place to hide. I went to AA and I am sober 84 days today. AA not only helps me stay sober but with the meetings and my sponsor I am working at letting go of the resentments. This is a key factor for me.
There is a lot of support and information here.
I was an everyday drinker, when I drank I drank until I was drunk or passed out. My sole purpose was to get home and drink. There was no such thing as one or two for me. Never had been. Once I had one there was no desire to stop. If I did have to control it for any reason I was stressed out. I wanted to get out of that situation and get home so I could drink as many as I wanted.
I did not have any bad physical withdrawal symptoms. In fact my desire to drink is gone but for me it was the mental withdrawal. I was leaving behind my place to hide. I went to AA and I am sober 84 days today. AA not only helps me stay sober but with the meetings and my sponsor I am working at letting go of the resentments. This is a key factor for me.
There is a lot of support and information here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Hello, and welcome. It's not so much how much we drink, it's the effect it has on us.
I, too, was a binger. It was normal for me. I didn't feel I had a problem either, I just liked to drink.
But alcoholism is progressive and in over the course of years, I became an every day drinker. Alcoholism is progressive that way. I can't begine to explain the miserable life I had.
I can really relate to your post. I know the feelings your experiencing so well.
I joined here over five years ago, and have been sober two and half years. Took me awhile.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, you have to avoid that first drink.
I've never had one drink in my life and I never intend to. If I were to go back, I'm sure I would pick up right where I left off.
Best to you, and I'm glad you found us. Abstinance is possible. I'm doing it and I'm loving life. You can do it, too.
Best to you, and keep posting.
I, too, was a binger. It was normal for me. I didn't feel I had a problem either, I just liked to drink.
But alcoholism is progressive and in over the course of years, I became an every day drinker. Alcoholism is progressive that way. I can't begine to explain the miserable life I had.
I can really relate to your post. I know the feelings your experiencing so well.
I joined here over five years ago, and have been sober two and half years. Took me awhile.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, you have to avoid that first drink.
I've never had one drink in my life and I never intend to. If I were to go back, I'm sure I would pick up right where I left off.
Best to you, and I'm glad you found us. Abstinance is possible. I'm doing it and I'm loving life. You can do it, too.
Best to you, and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Originally Posted by MC23 
Hi all,
I've signed up to this forum as I'm hesitant to attend AA meetings, but still feel as though I need support to stop drinking.
I've just today come off a three-day bender of getting completely ********* and making a spectacle of myself in front of my partner, his relatives, and some friends of ours. I was pretty much told this morning that if I didn't change my ways, my relationship was going to be over.
I don't drink every single day so I don't feel as though I'm physically dependent on the drink. But it's that when I do, I lose the ability to control how much alcohol I'm consuming. One glass of wine goes to two bottles and pretty soon I'm trying to down everything in sight with an alcohol percentage. I've fooled myself into pretending my behaviour is normal for long enough.
I've signed up to this forum as I'm hesitant to attend AA meetings, but still feel as though I need support to stop drinking.
I've just today come off a three-day bender of getting completely ********* and making a spectacle of myself in front of my partner, his relatives, and some friends of ours. I was pretty much told this morning that if I didn't change my ways, my relationship was going to be over.
I don't drink every single day so I don't feel as though I'm physically dependent on the drink. But it's that when I do, I lose the ability to control how much alcohol I'm consuming. One glass of wine goes to two bottles and pretty soon I'm trying to down everything in sight with an alcohol percentage. I've fooled myself into pretending my behaviour is normal for long enough.
Sober Today
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
Welcome! I'm only on day 3 and already this forum has been a huge help. I check in all throughout the day. When I want a drink I read some posts.
I do drink everyday so 3 days is BIG for me. Stick around and, really, just take it one day at a time.
I do drink everyday so 3 days is BIG for me. Stick around and, really, just take it one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Welcome MC23,
This forum is great. I'm 69 days alcohol free with SR!! Lots of different ways to get sober: AA, SR, SMART, just to name a few. Just like some of us were daily drinkers and some of us weren't: different strokes for different folks!
Most of us will share what worked for us. Your job is to experiment and see which of those things work for you.
You'll find tons of support and people who can relate here.
Congrats on your decision to live sober. Being a drunk a$$hat is no way to live.
This forum is great. I'm 69 days alcohol free with SR!! Lots of different ways to get sober: AA, SR, SMART, just to name a few. Just like some of us were daily drinkers and some of us weren't: different strokes for different folks!
Most of us will share what worked for us. Your job is to experiment and see which of those things work for you.
You'll find tons of support and people who can relate here.
Congrats on your decision to live sober. Being a drunk a$$hat is no way to live.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by BrokenBottles
It's not a big deal for me to go for days without drinking, but once I start, I don't stop until I run out of money or alcohol or I throw up and pass out.
There are other supports groups out there. There is SMART, Women for Sobriety, I'm sure someone will come along with others, those just happen to be the ones I go to.
This site is wonderful and you will get a lot of support and help here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR MC 
As others have mentioned there are lots of alternatives to AA. I used AVRT as well as SMART and AA to help me along the way. I can understand your hesitancy to go to a meeting as the thought terrified the life out of me. AVRT was good because it doesn't recommend meetings or admitting you are an alcoholic. Look into it, there's some good stuff there. I did find though that although having peer support was vital in my ability to get and stay sober I still needed to look into some tools to help me stay quit. There are lot's of CBT type workbooks available which can help. Recovery is not limited to AA x
As others have mentioned there are lots of alternatives to AA. I used AVRT as well as SMART and AA to help me along the way. I can understand your hesitancy to go to a meeting as the thought terrified the life out of me. AVRT was good because it doesn't recommend meetings or admitting you are an alcoholic. Look into it, there's some good stuff there. I did find though that although having peer support was vital in my ability to get and stay sober I still needed to look into some tools to help me stay quit. There are lot's of CBT type workbooks available which can help. Recovery is not limited to AA x
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
"I don't feel as though I'm physically dependent on the drink. But it's that when I do, I lose the ability to control how much alcohol I'm consuming. One glass of wine goes to two bottles and pretty soon I'm trying to down everything in sight with an alcohol percentage."
Pretty much sums up alcoholism to me.
welcome to SR!
Pretty much sums up alcoholism to me.
welcome to SR!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I needed here, AA for the first three months, my doc, my family support, and my friends, counselors at the VA rehab, and a week of in hospital medical detox.
My feeling when I made that same decision was that I would rather do more than I needed than risk failing again. See, I got to drinking daily. Then in the morning when I had to because my addiction had progressed that far. All of us do. And believe we are the exception, until reality sinks in, and for many too late. For me, almost, and I even healed physically pretty well. One more day, week, or month, and I would be dead now, not writing in your support.
AA, local folks knowing, reading in your doc completely, all make it very uncomfortable to fail and relapse. Isn't that the idea? I was fortunate, as alcoholics go, in that my addiction got me in my 50s even though I was an alcoholic long before. I did not drink away my money, marriage, or have trouble with the law. I never drank and drove not from fear of law enforcement but out of fear of hurting me! But even when I realized that I was an alcoholic, I called myself a functional alcoholic? What the heck is that? Is that what someone with terminal cancer is before it progresses to where it kills them? Functional?
I will have three years of recovered sobriety in a few months. I believe it was my shotgun approach to sobriety that made it work for me. Using more then dropping what I no longer needed as it became apparent. I will go and visit with my AA group today and let them know I am still fine. They did have a big part in my early recovery. SR still gives me an outlet to help others, and to re-member that I can never control it. That the only way to win this game is not to play. I miss nothing about alcohol. You can recover too.
My feeling when I made that same decision was that I would rather do more than I needed than risk failing again. See, I got to drinking daily. Then in the morning when I had to because my addiction had progressed that far. All of us do. And believe we are the exception, until reality sinks in, and for many too late. For me, almost, and I even healed physically pretty well. One more day, week, or month, and I would be dead now, not writing in your support.
AA, local folks knowing, reading in your doc completely, all make it very uncomfortable to fail and relapse. Isn't that the idea? I was fortunate, as alcoholics go, in that my addiction got me in my 50s even though I was an alcoholic long before. I did not drink away my money, marriage, or have trouble with the law. I never drank and drove not from fear of law enforcement but out of fear of hurting me! But even when I realized that I was an alcoholic, I called myself a functional alcoholic? What the heck is that? Is that what someone with terminal cancer is before it progresses to where it kills them? Functional?
I will have three years of recovered sobriety in a few months. I believe it was my shotgun approach to sobriety that made it work for me. Using more then dropping what I no longer needed as it became apparent. I will go and visit with my AA group today and let them know I am still fine. They did have a big part in my early recovery. SR still gives me an outlet to help others, and to re-member that I can never control it. That the only way to win this game is not to play. I miss nothing about alcohol. You can recover too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 105
welcome I know how you feel I'm in the same boat as you starting to want to get sober myself. I've been to aa it's a good reminder of how bad it can be once we start to get well its easy to forgot how bad it really was and get back on it. use the forum and remember all you have to do is not pick up the first drink and you cannot get drunk. No matter what just don't pick up the first drink just for today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Originally Posted by Itchy
But even when I realized that I was an alcoholic, I called myself a functional alcoholic? What the heck is that? Is that what someone with terminal cancer is before it progresses to where it kills them? Functional?
I called myself a 'functional alcoholic' in my first post on SR... but looking back at it, I don't think I was... unless by functioning I meant that I was still able to drink all day!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome, this is a great place to be, reading other peoples posts really helped me. I can relate to every thing you said in your post i displayed the exact same behaviour as you describe two years ago and also like you i wasn't physically dependent yet. Fast forward 2 years and i was drinking daily and ended up in the hospital really unwell. Alcoholism is so progressive it catches you out, i never thought it would happen to me but it did. You have recognised your behaviour and want to get sober which is amazing, you have a golden opportunity to get sober now especially if you arnt physically dependent, please don't leave it until you are it is so much harder. A women at AA told me the same thing two years ago and i didn't listen because i thought i could get a handle on it myself and i spent 2 years in a living hell that i wouldn't wish upon anyone. Im now 8 months sober and my life is transformed its so much better, im happy, healthy, i laugh and enjoy every single day. You can do this, its so worth it!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
welcome MC23
You'll find a ton of support and ideas here.
Some find SR is all the support they need - others also use AA, SMART or other methods as well.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
glad you found us
D
You'll find a ton of support and ideas here.
Some find SR is all the support they need - others also use AA, SMART or other methods as well.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
glad you found us
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome to the family, MC. You'll find all sorts of help and support here.
I felt a huge sense of relief when I joined SR. I had no one else in my life to discuss my problem with. Everyone else was a social drinker. I spent too many years believing I could use willpower to moderate - but every time I picked up I lost all control. It had to end. I've never been happier - turns out I didn't need it at all. You can do this, MC.
You'll find all sorts of help and support here.I felt a huge sense of relief when I joined SR. I had no one else in my life to discuss my problem with. Everyone else was a social drinker. I spent too many years believing I could use willpower to moderate - but every time I picked up I lost all control. It had to end. I've never been happier - turns out I didn't need it at all. You can do this, MC.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 30
Guys,
Monday morning in my time zone. Had a bit of trouble sleeping last night. A bit shaky today. First day without any booze in my system for nearly a week.
I just wanted to say what a lovely feeling it was logging into SR this morning and seeing so many messages of support! Really made my day :-)
My best friend admitted to me today that she today has started attending group therapy for a long lasting and well hidden narcotics addiction. Their group covers alcoholics too. She encouraged me to come along. We've both been in denial about our abuse of alcohol and drugs for ages and didnt even admit it to each other despite being friends for well over ten years! I feel like together we've seen the light and can support each other through this. Maybe going to group would be a bit less intimidating if I went with my friend. Might give it a go.
In the meantime - body, if you could stop trembling, that'd be lovely!
Thanks again all! I'm so glad I found this board!
Monday morning in my time zone. Had a bit of trouble sleeping last night. A bit shaky today. First day without any booze in my system for nearly a week.
I just wanted to say what a lovely feeling it was logging into SR this morning and seeing so many messages of support! Really made my day :-)
My best friend admitted to me today that she today has started attending group therapy for a long lasting and well hidden narcotics addiction. Their group covers alcoholics too. She encouraged me to come along. We've both been in denial about our abuse of alcohol and drugs for ages and didnt even admit it to each other despite being friends for well over ten years! I feel like together we've seen the light and can support each other through this. Maybe going to group would be a bit less intimidating if I went with my friend. Might give it a go.
In the meantime - body, if you could stop trembling, that'd be lovely!
Thanks again all! I'm so glad I found this board!
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