Blueyes1982

So I am 30 years old and am thinking about drinking again. I have been sober for 7 years. I sometimes second guess myself as to if I was an alcholic or if I just liked to party a lot. When I was 24 I left the father of my 2 kids. The kids were just a couple years old when I decided it was no longer going to work and I could not take anymore abuse. I got my own place got all our things and never went back. I started drinking at night. It felt good to relax and take my mind off of being lonely. After about a year the drinking became out of control and I was taking pills and doing cocaine quite often. I lost everything, first my job then the house I had purchased then my car was eventually sold for money because I ended up living with my mom and had to pay her rent. Well I decided to stop drinking and stay away from any drug or pill that make me feel buzzed. So here I am 7 years later and havent drank one sip of beer or my favorite vodka but wondering if I can handle drinking socially. It is my birthday weekend and I am sitting home alone kids are with their father but I am bored, dont have many friends and really feel like I am wasting my life by not drinking and having a good time with my friends that are out at the bar right now.

ScottFromWI

I think the fact that you are here asking that question on a recovery forum says a lot about how you feel about it. No one is going to tell you it's ok to drink...do you think it's a smart thing to try?

Dee74

Hi Blueeyes

I can't tell you the number of times I thought 'maybe I overreacted' or 'I'm older now' or 'my life is different now' and went back to drinking...and always ended up with the same results.


If this was the result last time:
is there anything really worth risking that again?

Have you been unhappy being sober for 7 years?

D

Nuudawn

So hanging out in a bar...drinking...is your idea of a "better life" somehow? Sorry I don't mean that to sound sarcastic or patronizing..but it just sounds kinda..weak. There are soooooooo many other things to do in this world. Socializing is awesome..but does it have to be in a bar with alcoholic lubricant?

Alcoholics ask themselves all the time whether they've learned anything and can "handle" it now. I think the fact that you want to indicates..alcoholism. People who don't have problems..don't "long" or "pine" for alcohol situations.

I think we need to "get a life" we are interested in rather than try to make life better with or shall I say BY the addition of alcohol.

It's up to you of course..but you are pondering a question much asked and much answered..with more evidence of alcoholism/addiction.

veryready

I didn't drink for 7 years. After thinking I was cured, I started again slowly, but my drinking got worse and worse for 7 more years before I was able to stop again. Now I have 7 months! For me, it was worse the second time around. Still waiting to see that post where someone tried it again and it was better. Don't do it. Not worth it.

nadaurz

You are raising children. You are not wasting your life. What if it was one of your children asking you that question? What would you tell them?

Nighthawk8820

Dangerous thinking my friend. What you just posted is a clear sign that you indeed had/have chemical dependency issues, so picking up that one drink will put you right back into that cycle you were in. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen. Its a story as old as time in recovery.........you always pick up right where you left off if you use again. There are no exceptions to this rule. I think you need some hobbies or to try things that interest you outside the bars and partying. What do you like to do? Challenge yourself, push yourself outside your comfort zone, and do something new with your free time. Boredom is a sobriety wrecker, so its up to you to find other creative outlets to stimulate your brain in healthy ways. It would be a shame to toss away 7 years and end up right back where you were. It wont end well if you choose that route, for you or those kids. You arent missing out on anything, trust me, people only drink to escape.............so find healthier ways to escape and enjoy yourself.

Head over to the "Stories" section of this forum and read some peoples tales on recovery and where they were at. It may remind you of how bad off you were at one time. Its easy to forget as time passes, so maybe you need a little reminder?

Grungehead

I think the first part of your post I highlighted should answer the other 3 parts I highlighted. It sure doesn't sound like you were able to control alcohol or drugs in the past, what makes you think you can control it now?

BTW I had 7 years sober and just got back from an 8 year relapse...and trust me it wasn't social drinking LOL. It's not worth it, take my word for it.