So mad at myself!
Simply Grateful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 211
So mad at myself!
I was doing really well, nearly 2 months sober. Then I fell off the wagon Sunday night. Grrrrrrrrrr! 2 nights in a row. This morning the rest of the bottle got flushed down the laundry tub. I don't even enjoy it anymore! Plus the money I'm wasting. I hate that it takes me away from other things. I hate the way I feel the next morning. No more no more no more!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Glasscat - Being sober is so rewarding. Once you know that feeling, you crave it. You want it back. Now that you know that, sounds like you are willing to work at it and do it again. I'm with you on this journey. Hold on, as it can get bumpy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
I'm with both of you! Today is my second day and I feel better already. But the cravings are still lurking. I have had as much as 2 months, to the day, of sobriety and somehow let it go. Now I've been racking up a week here and there, but I want off of that rollercoaster. Its too much work, and always full of regret. Marjoram..I couldn't have said it better myself..I crave how I felt during those sober weeks/months. I know that's the only way to live. Anything less and I am shortchanging myself and those who love me.
Simply Grateful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 211
I know how good I feel when I'm sober, how much more I enjoy life and people and doing things that now when I do have an oopsy like last night and the night before, I just don't even enjoy it! I'm still annoyed at myself. I'm just hoping the husband didn't notice. He quit drinking close to 30 years ago. Just quit one night and never ever picked it up again. He went to AA but stopped. However, he just doesn't understand when I have a relapse and basically told me to not even use that word because it's just an excuse. I don't get him and don't discuss my journey with him at all. It's a subject not open for discussion in our house. Too bad because you'd think he could be so helpful but he's really just very judgmental considering he knows.
Oh well, I have you all for support and my AA meetings. Thank you and I appreciate it all so much. I'm very grateful.
Oh well, I have you all for support and my AA meetings. Thank you and I appreciate it all so much. I'm very grateful.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Your husband might have used to know, but a lot of forgetting can occur in 30 years. Kind of like how you made it through potty training, but might not remember what it was like.
And hindsight is 20/20. With what I know now successfully being off of cigarettes, I would have no sympathy for my relapsing a$$ of a few years ago. I would be like "just quit already!" But it wasn't that easy a few years ago for me.
And hindsight is 20/20. With what I know now successfully being off of cigarettes, I would have no sympathy for my relapsing a$$ of a few years ago. I would be like "just quit already!" But it wasn't that easy a few years ago for me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Luxembourg (from UK)
Posts: 106
I know how you feel. . . I fell off the wagon a few days ago and was really mad at myself. The important thing is that you keep trying!! :-)
My partner gets mad at me when I get drunk as he says that I turn into a different person. He still drinks and manages a bar. . . he doesn't seem to understand that visiting the bar and sticking to soft drinks is really difficult!!
You will get there and remember everyone's journey is different. Your husband is very lucky that he can stop "just like that."
Lots of love. xxx
My partner gets mad at me when I get drunk as he says that I turn into a different person. He still drinks and manages a bar. . . he doesn't seem to understand that visiting the bar and sticking to soft drinks is really difficult!!
You will get there and remember everyone's journey is different. Your husband is very lucky that he can stop "just like that."
Lots of love. xxx
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
What was it on Sunday night that made you cave GC? I'm guessing you do have numbers you could call since you use AA, and you could also come here - someone's always got the light on! Perhaps some immediate accountability would help you get over the hump?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Yeah, I wonder why you decided to drink after two months sober. I think it's really important to figure out what happened and look at it closely. That way, it won't have to happen again. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
several slips before I got serious
Originally Posted by Glasscat 
I hate that it takes me away from other things.
I hate the way I feel the next morning.
No more no more no more!!!!!!
sounds like you wish to be done with it
you can get another couple of months sober before you know it
I had several slips before I got serious
you can get another couple of months sober before you know it
I had several slips before I got serious
Simply Grateful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Perhaps some immediate accountability would help you get over the hump?
Simply Grateful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Anna
Yeah, I wonder why you decided to drink after two months sober. I think it's really important to figure out what happened and look at it closely. That way, it won't have to happen again.
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