1stepup

I just cant seem to stop drinking, I use it as a medicine for my nerves and worries but my life has spiralled because of the alcohol that I cant seem to have the fight to fight it anymore, I missed my loan payment last Friday because of a binge that started last Tuesday, I was an hour deciding whether to go in or not, I even considered leaving after ordering the first drink wish I had now, no instead I continued and blacked out, lost my bag full of important stuff the other night an have no clue where it is.

To make things worse my ex has told me the other day that she has found someone new and im struggling to cope with it, I have no money to my name, I have no job, no girlfriend, no life. I simply cant cope with life sober but know that if I carry on il die. Just want this pain to stop and the depression is unbearable, got back in touch with my old sponsor the other day but promised him id go to a meeting every night this week- only made Monday night.

The only peace I find is when I can sleep, im worried sick right now about loan and cant see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. WISH I was normal, some girls on the bus were laughing at me the other day because I was drunk, I just told them that im ill, im an alcoholic and that im powerless.

Please God help me, I cant go on like this.

hypochondriac

I'm sorry but this simply isn't true. You just haven't learnt to cope with life sober. It takes time but it isn't a fact that you can't just because you haven't yet.

Try to focus on what is right in front of you. I am a great believer in the thinking that If you have a problem and you can do something about it, then do it, if not don't worry about it. It holds very true for financial problems. (actually that's just the serenity prayer isn't it!). Make any positive steps you can but don't fret over things you cannot change. Don't give up x

Sally3127

Call your sponsor again and start going to meetings.

least

Your sober life is unbearable because your drunk life has taken over and ruined everything. Stop drinking, you're only making things worse! Get back in touch with your sponsor and get back to meetings if they'll help you stay sober. Do whatever you can to get sober, leave no stone unturned in your efforts. Your very life depends on your actions.

MIRecovery

AA taught me how to live without alcohol and how to live life and has done the same for countless others. It will save your life all you have to do is reach out and get it.

Anna

Give sobriety a chance. Most of us drank for years, so stopping drinking is a new undertaking. Try to have patience. You sound overwhelmed right now, so just take a few deep breaths and do what you can do. Make a plan to work on your recovery.

Living

Can't never could. Give yourself a little more credit than that. You know you want to stop drinking and you have a sponsor, please work it.

2granddaughters

My advice is to make those meetings. You know that is where recovery is .. you see it in the oldtimers and winners there.

It's all in HOW IT WORKS. You just have to show up, pay attention and participate. Do you have anything better to do with your time ??!!

All the best.

Bob R

Grungehead

Title of your thread: Life unbearable sober unmanagable drunk

BB 1st Edition: Chapter 11 pg 152
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I understand how you feel as I have reached the point in the past where I couldn't imagine life sober but my life drinking was intolerable. It's quite the predicament when the one thing that gave me an escape from my problems turned on me and I found myself trapped. At that point I had to decide which one was the lesser of two evils in my mind at the time...sobriety or alcohol. It sounds like you have reached that point as well.

BTW you said you are an alcoholic and you are powerless. You may be powerless over alcohol but you are not powerless over everything in your life.

doggonecarl

Accumulate more than a couple months of sobriety, work the steps, you'll see your life become more bearable. You already know the path drinking is going to take you.

Mountainmanbob

Random Big Book quote:
To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. Page 44

Hevyn

Hi 1stepup. I remember so clearly feeling just like you do. I couldn't imagine letting go of alcohol - my friend, my comforter, the thing I used to cope with life. Of course it wasn't any of those things - it was stealing my soul. I just didn't know how to let go of it and face reality. Once I gave myself a chance to get sober and clear headed, I was able to begin mending all the things that had gone wrong in my life.

Please give yourself a chance at a good life - one enjoyed with eyes wide open, not in a fog. There is no doubt that you can do this, 1step. We are with you. Never give up.