Need some love please

Old 04-30-2013, 01:48 PM
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Need some love please

Its my day off. I was called into the Eatery last night because my co-workers bf is in the hospital from pancreatic issues due to drinking. I have not been at the Eatery since Sunday. I didn't close the Eatery on Sunday, another coworker did. This all leads into.......
The manager berating me for all the things that we not "done" and that it is my fault. I should have written a list, I should have blah blah,...WHat list? Ive never been told to write a list....She is angry and aggressive on the sandwich line, yelling at me while all the customers are there. I told her that if she wanted to talk with me in the office that is fine, but there is a way to communicate and a delivery style that is professional. All of this crap is unprofessional. The owner was there and was shocked over everything. She couldnt believe what was taking place. I couldnt believe it. I did stand up for myself. I am not taking the blame for things that have nothing to do with me. Why blame anyway??? Why be a tyrant? WTF? I told here that I am here covering a shift. I do not deserve this. I was told that If I didnt want to cover a shift, I didnt have to.
I am home early from a shift that i was covering. I jsut feel lousy.
I am getting those demos in line. What is wrong with me????
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:51 PM
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All I can say is do the best you can do. Other people's problems are not your own in any sense of the word. I know that, for myself, I love to place blame squarely on my own shoulders, even if it's that I didn't do something to change another persons attitude or opinion. But at the end of the day, the only person I can do anything about is the person typing this right now.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by StevenT View Post
All I can say is do the best you can do. Other people's problems are not your own in any sense of the word. I know that, for myself, I love to place blame squarely on my own shoulders, even if it's that I didn't do something to change another persons attitude or opinion. But at the end of the day, the only person I can do anything about is the person typing this right now.
Thank You. I am making the change as soon as possible. I thought I could hold on here. I guess not.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:36 PM
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Hey Mizz ,
Nice to see you posting ...and coping with everything life throws your way .
I think you're perfectly right to be afirmative/assertive on whos responcibillity this was whilst also being respectful of the boss .. Sounds to me a bit like the boss/manager was "blowing off steam" in any direction , i guess none of us are perfect eh ?

Good luck with the business venture , hopefully one day when you're a sucessfull businesswoman you'll be able to laugh about that "funny little job" you did as a stop gap when you were starting up ..

keep on keeping on , M
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:37 PM
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BIG HUGS! Sometimes, other people just suck! But !
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:47 PM
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Congratulations for standing up for yourself! I hate it when people take their crap out on me. Doesn't sound like you lost your temper. You didn't lose your job either! And if I understood correctly, the owner saw how badly you were treated. And this is the thanks you get for taking someone's shift as a favor? Lousy, lousy! Just don't listen to that voice calling you to ease your anger and hurt with just one drink! Give yourself a hug, and here's a virtual one from me. Don't let the world derail you! You have a plan!
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:43 PM
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It's not you mizzuno. I think your behavior sounds totally appropriate. I'm glad you're getting out of there soon!
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:48 PM
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Thank you everyone. I feel trampled on. This is not going to break me though. I have so much school work to do. I need to let this go and move on. I am scared to walk into that fire tomorrow. There was not a warning that the Island needed evacuation. The Volcano erupted and lava just started to flow with all sorts of venom and anger. I was floored. We are a team. Although, I see that she is an Island and every shift that i work, I am stepping onto her ground. Its a shame. Management can make or break a place. There is my story, her story and the truth. The owner said that she will call me tonight or rather text me. Who knows? I may not have a job after all this. I dont even want the job anyway. Im just doing this to get by.
I will look back on this and remember that it was a passing of time. Hopefully, this passing of time passes quickly.
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:52 PM
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The manager should be disciplined and the place sounds like a royal mess.
It's good you stood up for yourself.
They don't deserve you.
I hope you find another place soon.

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Old 04-30-2013, 04:01 PM
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For all you know she could be going through some issues of her own and took out her wrath on you. I try not to take things to personally, cuz they usually do pass. As long as I know I am doing my best, if something like that happens , I chalk it up as it is what it is. And I pray for acceptance and move on. Don't hold a grudge though. Don't let her rent space in your head for free.

To forgive is to set the prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you. I believe God works all things together for my good. I needed every circumstance in my life to become the very person I am today. The jobs I was fired from, The jails, the institutions. I have no regrets only lots of experience from the school of hard knocks and that's ok. Wouldn't change a thing, well maybe one thing. The pain I caused my son. Don't give it anymore thought. It's out of your hands anyways. Trust God.
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Old 04-30-2013, 06:31 PM
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Hi, Mizzuno.

I think nothing is wrong with you. There are people who enjoy making other people's life miserable and thus they try to improve their low self-esteem, or whatever.

It's hard but try not to take it so close to your heart - it shall pass. You know, one of my friends, a submariner once told me that his supervising officer was constantly shouting at him, and he had not place to escape from this shouting. I asked him how he dealt with this - oh, I just imagined his guy shouting at the wall behind me, or at his wife. Obviously he just needed someone to shout at.

Not much of advice, maybe)

You are doing your studies, your work in this eatery is not forever.

Best wishes to you. Keep your chin up, tomorrow will be better)
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:16 PM
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I've finished as much as I can for the night. My heart feels heavy. The baby birds are chirping away in the trees and it is soothing me. It's not like the early morning billions of birds screaming sound. I'm so worn out from all if it. Thanks for your reply. Thanks to everyone. It's not easy when someone is yelling at you. I've never been good at receiving that form of communication. My husband says that I need emotional boundaries so that I am not affected so deeply. He is right. As much as I try to build the boundary, I don't construct it properly. Back to the drawing board. This is the first day in awhile where i have felt beaten down.
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:26 PM
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Mizzuno you are FANTASTIC. Unfortunately not everyone who is in management deserves to be in management. Just be yourself.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:17 PM
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Maybe you should be running the place I bet you could do a better job
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:29 PM
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Thanks for the positive words Rich. I texted my boss to see how we will proceed from here. No response yet. She fired the last person through text. This would be wrongful termination if i am let go. Things were good there for awhile.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:43 PM
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" What is wrong with me????" I think I have the same problem.... I'm human and sometimes stuff just gets screwy.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:48 PM
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I think you will find she just had a bad day. Speak with her and bring it to and end. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by instigating a solution. Good luck
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Old 05-01-2013, 07:03 AM
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Good morning! I am heading back into the Lions den today. Hopefully the tiger has been fed and will act decent towards me. I have to admit that I am a little frightened. This could go two ways: Bad or good. Here goes nothing!
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Old 05-01-2013, 07:23 AM
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Mizz... No one should go to work scared. I know you just got this job correct? Maybe look around?

Wish you the best and sending strength to you to not use this as an excuse!

Go Mizzuno!

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Old 05-01-2013, 02:31 PM
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I made it out alive, and it was a peaceful experience today. Why you ask? The manager came on duty as soon as I was leaving. The owner thinks I am sensitive. I told the owner that volatile behavior is not acceptable in the work place. She said that all of this does not go unnoticed. She also told me that we are like oil and water. Okay. It is what it is. I am still pursuing other things and soon enough somebody else will get deal with the vitriol. I deserve to be treated with respect. That respect starts with me. Now I am school paper bound. Wish me luck.
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