Cait777

Well as the title says, I am just having a hell of a time getting sober. I went to rehab for only about 10 days in July, got out, drank a lot, ended up hospitalized, and then continued on a fairly ok track. But recently it began to spiral out of control, and I got a DUI and crashed my car. I went to rehab, and was really committed to staying sober, but I got drunk the day I got out. I ended up in the hospital, where I did a bunch of horrible things like rip my IV out. I'm not going to work today because my boss hasn't responded to me yet, but I'm drinking a couple of beers because I just can't sleep and I hate that feeling. I feel like there is somethign wrong with me and I just don't get it.

visch1

Welcome. I’ve been there and was totally dishonest with myself and kept asking why. I was told I am an alcoholic and things will get worse. Well, like a little kid my reactions were like a loser and I continued with my right to drink. Gratefully it got to the point of totally being sick and tired and started taking directions of those who had been there before me. Like it says, who likes to admit defeat and see their lives unmanageable? When we answer that honestly we can start to move ahead. BE WELL.

rainyengland

We have all been there unfortunately - it tends to be in us to hit it even harder after abstaining

You will get to the point where enough is enough - once you find that then you can confront it head on

Good luck !

Lovelivelaugh

Sending you lots of love and good thoughts

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear about all your troubles Cait. What kind of recovery programs have you been trying in between all the rehab stints? As you are finding, detox and rehab is only the first step in getting you clean - recovery is the hard part. Many of us had to reach absolute bottom before we finally decided to call it quits - which is the only way to truly get clean. You need to decide for yourself that you want to be sober more than drinking. If you do make that choice, SR is a great place to get support - welcome and let us know how we can help.

Michael66

Hi Cait

Have you read the personal stories and testimonies in the AA Big Book? You'll find lots of stories similar to your own, but with the way they escaped that addiction through the 12 steps.

Keeping you in prayer.

God bless +

dallas123

Feeling the same way I made so much progress at the start of the year and now I feel myself back on the treadmill. I just need to put myself back together but it is so hard and like you say, rainyengland, the wine seems to have a lot more "bite" after being off it for awhile.

bbthumper

Sorry hear about your struggles my friend. Getting sober is not an easy thing.
What I realized after some time sober is that drinking was never really my problem. It was my answer. It took away the feelings of anxiety, boredom, depression, restlessness. It helped me sleep. Made me more social etc. Over time it became less and less effective and began to turn on me and cause more problems than it was helping. The problem though was that I didn't have any other answers. If I stopped drinking what was I supposed to do about the feelings of anxiety, restlessness, depression etc. They were downright unbearable when sober. For me, a new answer was necessary. Just not drinking seemed to make things worse.
My new answer was found in AA. Thanks to the program of action, I now live comfortably in my own skin. Sobriety is something I enjoy, not something I have to fight daily to achieve. I neither crave alcohol nor do I run from it. I am free from the bondage of alcoholism thanks to AA.
There are other programs available as well. I cant speak from experience about any of those, but it seems that many of us who have recovered needed a program of recovery in which we could be active and stay active.
Best wishes to you!

wpainterw

I wonder whether you realize that the period after you leave the detox or rehab is the most dangerous time of all from the standpoint of relapses. Your body is accustomed to alcohol and is trying to do everything to get it back. Your midbrain (the more primitive part) is doing everything it can to trick your rational mind to resume having "just one drink". You need what's called "aftercare" and the companionship of other recovering alcoholics. My experience is that this was absolutely necessary for me. Unless you focus on this it's bound to get worse. Keep posting on this SR. There's lots of support here. Good luck.

W.

Veritas1

Hi, I follow the AA program.

It teaches us that we are "caught in the grips" of a progressive illness...over time we get worse, never better.

Are you open to AA?

It has helped me stop drinking.

If not...there are many people here, pursuing other paths...read and apply what you learn.

You have to throw all beer and booze out, then start with one day.

We all had to do it.

Nourish yourself, rest, no alcohol. One day turns into another day, and another. Work on your mind..why you need relief...what are you drinking for?

Have you thought about this?

How long have you been drinking?

You never have to drink again.

You can do it!

I have found I am the only one that has ever been in my way.