blunderite1

Hey ladybug!
4 days is great, but I understand your thoughts that, hey If I falter now, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, cuz I can always quit tomorrow.

I don't know how it is for you, but I have "quit" drinking for a few days many times. Just long enough for the hangover to ware off plus a couple of extra days. Then I said only on the weekends, but that isn't living.

You can do it. I hope you have somebody close to you for support. This place has helped me a lot today.

blunderite1

hang in there.

its like everything else. you aren't finished with something until you are finished with it.

I hope I am finished, but you never know.

I am bargaining like h*** with myself.

glad I found this place

blunderite1

I obviously am no expert at sobriety, but I can relay my first couple of weeks. Every time I would think a beer or some wine would be good, I just fastforward to the drunken gross phase. The eating anything greasy to sop up the effects phase. Then I would think about the next day and how horribly I would feel.

That worked the first couple of weeks because it was still close enough and fresh enough in my mind.

Then the whole bargaining kicks in.... I haven't drank anything in two weeks. That is impressive. I can just have some on the weekend. Just Friday. Then I would think about "no, no, no" cuz that means saturday would be wasted sleeping all day or at least being sedentary. Then sunday would kind of suck cuz my hangovers last longer now.

Then I told myself thinking that not drinking for two weeks, even though it is great for me, isn't normal. The fact that I feel like I deserve some kind of reward, aka a drink, for my accomplishment just pounded into my brain that I really have a problem.

The third week was ok. Didn't think much about it. Till I started thinking that I would reward myself on the fourth week while I was on vacation. And I would have. I almost got annoyed at my husband for suggesting that I shouldn't. I mean, didn't he see how great I had done? Don't I deserve a drink? YIKES!!! Thank goodness I didn't show that anger toward him (another benefit of sobriety, let me tell you). Before I may have flown off the handle.

My point is, I am blessed that he is here. I am so utterly gifted that he hasn't left me. I have never been the fall down, can't keep a job alcoholic. But I have embarrassed him and I have turned into somebody that isn't who he fell in love with. Self pitying, self loathing, and not enjoyable or inspirational to be around.

I still privately think I may get to reward myself some day in the future. That's kind of why I joined this site today. I may leave it tomorrow. But, it is helping me today.

Dee74

hi and welcome blunderite

amotivation and fatigue are very common - as someone else said, I found breaking up my task list into easy bit size pieces helped.

Vitamins may help, but only if you're depleted.
I think it's good to see a Dr before starting any supplements, especially if you're on other meds.

As for signatures - if you look at the top left hand side of the big blue toolbar that runs across the top of the page you'll see 'User CP' - if you click that you'll see 'edit signature' is one of the options on the the drop down menu

D

blunderite1

Good evening all. Thanks for the ear and advice.

for the newer ones, like me, don't have a drink tonight, and I won't either. Meet you back here later!!

Deal? Deal!

blunderite1

I did a little more housework today! But I have decided that, for now, I will allow myself to feel like I accomplished something by not drinking today. Instead of feeling like a loser that did nothing.

That's my feeling right now anyway. Watching Intervention episodes while I clean around the house.

Sobering.... and sad. And scary that that could be me.

And acknowledging that even though I was a functioning alcoholic, I am no different than any of these people. I just hadn't gotten to that point, yet. I am still as ill as they are.

I feel blessed today.

GodsFriend

If you have a sponsor call them. If not get one.